Ok here's the thing. let's call this guy "Tyler." Ok, so Tyler and me have a thing. I am far from being a relationship girl. I've never had a serious relationship. We started out as friends and then we started hooking up. We hang out all the time. I'm always over at his place. Sometimes we don't even hook up. He's helped me study, cooked for me, and we even cuddle lol (that was new!). It's wierd...I usually don't like talking on the phone, but with him, we can talk for at least 2-3 hours. I'm starting to have feelings for him. I don't know, I'm not used to this.
Anyways, last night, I really screwed up. Ok so I was at a party and beyond drunk. Tyler came to the party later. He told me that when he walked into the party, I wasn't even human anymore. The whole night was a blur to me.
He texted me the next morning, "Are you alive?"
Then goes on to tell me "You sort of made a fool of yourself haha."
So I texted back, "Omgsh! What did I do?"
He texts back, "You just said and did dumb stuff :/ but you were really drunk."
Then Tyler says "don't stress too much about it."
Later on he said, "you also kept saying you wanted to spend the night at my place..haha which i thought was funny cuz you were making out with some other dude."
At this point, this was news to me, I don't even remember doing that so I said, "No I didn't! I didn't make out with anyone that night."
He responded with "Really? My friend said she saw you making out...but I didn't see you making out so I'll take your word for it."
After this, I started to remember the night because his friend had no reason to make that up and I remember this guy kept following me and hounding me to kiss him. Please excuse my drunken logic. I kissed him only to get rid of him. That's when I realized I should call Tyler.
So I called him about it. I said, "Umm i might have kissed this guy only to get rid of him (wow worst explanation ever!)." And he said, "Yeah..." (in a tone that sounded like he didn't believe me). In the beginning, I was like "Are you mad I me." He said, "I mean I was." If I hadn't called him, I would have never known because his texts made it seem like nothing was wrong. He also told me that I talked to this girl for 30 minutes and said that Tyler was my boyfriend, which I do not remember at all! It is so out of my character to even say that word. I was so mortified. I said, "Ew! I mean not ew you ew I would never say that!"
He also told me that I was very very drunk to the point that I had to be carried to my dorm. I did apologize to him and I definitely meant it. At the end, I was like "Are you still mad at me?" And he said, "Na, not anymore. I'll talk to you later okay?"
The next night, I saw his roommate at another party. I asked her if Tyler was mad at me. I don't remember what she said, but she said something like, "Tyler's fine. He just knows that you're not a relationship girl" or maybe she said, "Now he knows not to do anything serious with you." Either way, it made me upset.
I have so many thoughts going through me head. He probably thinks I'm a skeezy ho. Maybe he thinks I like him too much by drunkenly calling him my boyfriend so that scared him off. Or maybe he thinks that I'm just down for a good time; that I don't care. Or maybe because of this, he has STOPPED liking me and wants nothing to do with me. Or maybe I'm just psyching myself out and he really doesn't care about me.
The ball's pretty much in his court right now. I said and did all I could do. I'm not gonna text/call him until he texts/calls me first. I'm already mentally preparing myself for if he never wants to hang out with me again. Maybe I should stop talking to him for my sanity...
I don't really know what to do. What do you guys think? And please don't preach to me about drinking. Advice please? I'm sorry it's so long :/