Sex problems - I need an advice, please

[Chloe Fleur]

You see, my boy-friend and I seem to have problems with sex. We love each other and want to get rid of these problems to start giving pleasure to each other...
So, my problem is that I still feel pain as if it were the first time (he was my first). I don't have any inflammations or illnesses, so I don't know what's the reason of this pain.
His problem is with erection. It lasts such a short time that sometimes he can't even get in.
We really want to avoid any pills or radical measures. Maybe there are some safer ways of dealing with our problems? I would really appreciate any advice on the matter.

[sine24]

i think most of the pain is due to the fact that your hymen hasnt been completely broken yet, and also because your stressing too much making it tense and therefore intensifying the pain.

has your boyfriend had any past sexual partners before? if he has, then it could be a problem he's had for a while. if your his first, then i suggest you both just get used to each other for a bit..its most likely due to inexperience. it will get better!

[Chloe Fleur]

sine24, Thanks for the reply

Probably you're right about the hymen - there hasn't been any blood. But is there any way to break it or to make it wider somehow?
My boy-friend did have sexual partners in the past, but then had a long break - several years - bafore having sex with me. And he says he didn't have problems with erection before. I'm really worried - maybe it has something to do with me?

[sine24]

i think it once you two actually have "proper sex", where his penis goes completely in, then it will obviously break.

i think the long period since he last had sex is causing this. he just needs to be re-familiarised with the whole thing again. dont worry, its not you. you both need to be comfortable with each other. i remember the first few times my boyfriend and i did it..it was really awkward. it would not go in, and he couldnt hold it for long. it took him a few times before me and him actually got used to it.

[starbuck]

For your problem: try lube.

For his: I'm not sure, but I seriously doubt it has anything to do with you.

[Mr Wigglz]

Is there any foreplay? If not, try doing it and he might stay up for longer

[Chloe Fleur]

Thanks for the replies, everyone!

sine24, I just wonder, how long it might take for us to get used to it. It's been over a month now...

For your problem: try lube.

I will, thanks!

Is there any foreplay? If not, try doing it and he might stay up for longer

We've tried all kinds of foreplays and it doesn't help...

[Citycat]

If you know the next date you're gonna have your period, try having sex a little or a day before it. Menstrual fluids pass through an opening in the hymen during a woman's period. When your body is preparing for the period hymen stretches a bit, which will make it much less painful for you to have it broken. When a woman is aroused, the increased blood flow allows her vaginal canal to lengthen and widen. And right before you have your period lots of blood is down there waiting for the right moment to release itself. I suggest missionary position for the two of you.
As for your boyfirend's problem, are you really sure he didn't have erection problems before? How long were his previous relationships? Some men like to praise about their sexual experience. If in the past he had only one-night stands and relationships with occasional sexual intercourses then he may not be that skillful after all.

[nejie]

hi city cat..i could almost relate to what u just said..i used to have a bf before and always doubted him of cheating on me and been having one night stands and when we used to have sex, i remember he doesnt even get strong erections..id like to think that he had erectile problems than maybe hes too tired already having sex with other women..

[Kementari]

For you, I'd suggest masturbation. It'll really help you feel comfortable with yourself and help you get to know your vagina, as well as getting used to the feeling of having something inside it. And while you're masturbating, when you're aroused, I suggest putting a couple of fingers inside yourself and just gently trying to spread your hole. If it's too tight it'll make sex very painful. Lube can help, but only so much!

As for him, he might be nervous because he's worried about your pain (this is neither of your faults), but this might cause him to lose his erection. Just try playing around and having fun until you're both very aroused, then see how it goes. Don't push it, have fun!

[shh!]

If you are properly lubricated and still feel pain, your [hysician may need to break your hymen. Sometimes, they are quite thick.

Your boyfriend may be having anxiety due to your lack of pleasure/pain. Is he ejaculating early, or simply losing his erection?

[michzel creativ]

Go to a doctor, have your organs check it might have an infection or something. They will give you advices and medicines for erection in order for both of you to increase your stamina.
Have some exercise to have a good blood circulation,and increase resistance.Because when your doin it, it needs more power.
Eat vegetables, be healthy, take energy drinks and vitamins.