strange situation at gf's apartment... pls help!

[Alliance]

A few days ago I went over to my girlfriend's apartment to help build a bookshelf. My gf lives with her mom and little sister. There was a middle age man in the apartment, watching tv, with his legs up on the couch. He saw me, and without great surprise or hurry, got up and left.

My gf led me into another room, filled with men’s articles of clothing and tools. There was a dusty bed that no one has slept on in perhaps years, and lights that don’t work, windows that are barred.

So I shrugged, went in, plugged in a couple lights, and started working in there.

My gf came in to join me, she closed the door a little. I whispered to her “whose that guy?” and she whispered back “he’s the landlord. He comes in here sometimes”

Then I asked her “whose room is this? I’ve never been in here before”. She said “oh that’s the landlords storage room.”

And I said “ok.” And went back to my work. A while later my gf’s mom and little sister came into the room and said hi to me. The guy had slinked away.

The truth is I’m a little shaken.

First thing I’m worried about is that my gf thinks I don’t trust her… I did ask her in a whisper who the guy was, and why theres a room (full of men’s things in a house of only women) … is this likely to happen?

I tried to hide my nervousness by working with a smile on my face, but truth is I’m a very suspicious person and my gf *may* have picked up my uneasiness. I’m concerned about her safety. What’s a landlord doing in a house with 3 women at night time?

please help!!

[hello1]

It is strange and why are you acting like a wimp by not being able to ask your own girlfriend questions?

[SapphireBerry]

wow this is quite unusual, well as hello1 said why are you acting scared to ask her questions?
its her house and i'm sure if you told her you're concerned about a middle aged man who's a
bit of a stranger in the house full of women she'd probably understand that you are concerned
of their safety, who really is he anyway? howcome he is hanging around? maybe he's a partner
of the mother's who she's recently separated with, this is a bit of a strange question and not
enough detail to establish whether or not he is that landlord guy, you should find out yourself
what thats all about

[Lineofsight]

Yea why does he come in? ask her or ask her mom

[VincenzoG91]

Maybe her mom has trouble coming up with the rent money and has worked out an arrangement with the landlord.

[Alliance]

It is strange and why are you acting like a wimp by not being able to ask your own girlfriend questions?

many years ago, I asked my-ex gf (then gf) when she said she was going to a party. I stupidly told her "ok, but no sex". She was furious went into an absolute rampage about how I don't trust her and all that. I was given a massive 2 hour verbal thrashing, one thats imprinted in my memory now. That relationship has come and go. But the shockwave from that bomb is still being felt to this day. I'm scared to ask my current gf question because of this.

I am a very suspicious guy. People close to me know this. I don't always say what I'm thinking (with good reason). I mean I may ask "whose this guy?" when my real question in my mind is "whose this guy and he'd better not be doing anything with you."

@ SapphireBerry and Lineofsight - thanks for the support.

Strangely, when I asked my gf why the landlord comes in, she seemed kinda annoyed. Actually, her annoyance started with me coming in and helping with the bookshelf. It's almost like she wanted to shoo me away, or shove me in a corner. weird huh. Makes me feel like shes hiding something. Of course, I have no hard evidence, so asking directly is difficult and likely interpreted as a lack of trust.

Maybe her mom has trouble coming up with the rent money and has worked out an arrangement with the landlord.

It is possible, this thought has crossed my mind. I"ve spoken with her mom on several occassions though and she seems like a fairly intelligent lady.

[smackie9]

There might be a friendly arrangement with them and this landlord. They might like having a man around for some kind of protection. There's a possibility he has dinner with them and such....kinda like being part of their family.

[Alliance]

we have been a couple for over a year now and have gotten much closer.
Sometimes, she's really warm.
Strangely some aspects remain as if we were still in primary dating stages. Like me being rarely invited into the house. like me being introduced to her father. like me sometimes barely being treated like a boyfriend


I want to add that when I went to pick my gf up yesterday from school, she had the gall to hop in the back seat. That's right, the back seat. Not the passenger seat beside me. Talk about not being treated like a boyfriend.

I held my temper, took her by the hand, led her back out of the car and into the passenger seat. She didnt resist. Neither of us said anything.

I needed this. I didnt care how she felt at that point. My action made me feel a little better, as if I had restored some measure of authority, of respect.