What do you do in this kind of situation...?

[Indestructible]

How am I pushing my point over and over any more than you are? I posted my opinion, OP replied by justifying his shitty behavior with a poor excuse, I called him on it. That was that. Now you and the OP are pissed because I used the words "violated her privacy"? Or are you pissed because I'm basically agreeing with you, that he should tell his mother?

I am not ignoring the opinion (NOT fact) that his mother put him in an awful position, I just don't agree with that. I don't think she is in the wrong (in regards to her dealings with her son.) I don't think he was right in snooping just because his mother mentioned a man.

I'm not "pissed", either. But you've made your opinion very clear; you think it was horrible for me to have snooped in the first place, I respect that. Like I said, I don't deny that snooping is generally wrong, but I don't understand why you feel the need to keep beating it over my head and berating me for it in nearly all of your posts in this topic. In which of my posts did I say that I felt there was nothing wrong with me snooping? Where did I imply that snooping is perfectly acceptable? I didn't. I've said time and time again that I know that snooping isn't cool, and whether your believe it or not, I do feel some level of guilt for doing it in the first place. But like someone else here said, it's not like I'm just a constant snooper, invading anyone and everyone's privacy; a situation came along that seemed odd to me, I did a little digging just to check into it, and I ended up uncovering something that was worse than I thought. If I had found nothing alarming, yet continued to constantly snoop on my mom, and everyone else around me, then yeah, I could understand damning me for invading everyone's privacy, but that's not the case.

So, I'm sorry you think I'm some horrible, despicable piece of garbage for snooping on my mom because I was curious what her relation to this other guy is. You've already made up your mind about me, and that's fine; I don't want to sit here arguing about the lesser matter, here. That's silly. Either find something else to contribute to this discussion, or move on. We really don't need to be bickering about how awful of a person I am for snooping, so if that's all you want to continue posting about, please just forget about this topic.

[MerryH]

I don't want to sit here arguing about the lesser matter

Then don't?

[Charisma]

to me, I don't think the snooping (tho I don't see the snooping as bad tbh, especially if she brought it up in the first place) detracts from the fact that your mum could be having an affair- or trying to.

Thing is, you have to think about yourself. I'm 24 myself and unfortunately still live with my mum, and I don't wanna be dragged by family issues all the time. I'm saving up to move out (which is hard when employment is hard to find and hard to keep, but I won't give up.). In the end, whither you say something to her or not, it's her life and she'll do what she wants. If she wants to break up not just her own marriage but another man's marriage, then she might just go ahead and do that.

I, just like you, find it sickening. I hate that things like facebook, the internet in general and mobiles phones make it even easier for people to cheat, keep affairs secret and to go around indulging in debauchery. Unfortunately I've even found websites that encourage cheaters to come on and well, cheat. As much as you love your mum and your dad, and feel a great sense of moral obligation to intervene, you shouldn't. I'd love to tell you that it will do the world of good, but quite honestly it might just make your mum push you away further. She obviously feels shame and guilt in what she's doing or she'd carry out the convos in front of yous and stuff. But when the crap hits the fan, you can't feel guilt in any of it, because it was never your responsibility to stop this. It's hers. You're her daughter/son, not her mentor. And the way she's arguing with you shows that not only has she got a messed up sense of morals, but a messed up way of life in general. She's in a marriage ffs, if there's any way she can accuse you of controlling her, then it's by reminding her of what she promised to your father.

All in all, what I'm trying to say is that your life shouldn't revolve around your mother, but in getting out of the unhealthy situtation that you're in, and from getting away from such a messed up woman (no offence to her, or to you, because I know you care bout her and love her. But that what she is doing and saying to you is wrong, and anyone can see that.)

[Regnent]

Ultimately, you're all adults, it really is their own business. Now if you have siblings still under their care, -maybe- bring it up.
Otherwise, mind your own business.