Please, give me your understanding of the situation. I am getting confused. Plus, tests I had a year ago indicated age-related fertility problems and time pressure is clouding my judgment
I am 36 he's 31. We met as PhD students 7 years ago and liked each other instantly. He was in love with me, we went along very well... for a year. Then he moved to West cost, he visited me once, and after a semester apart I stayed with him for 5 months before going to Midwest . At his place, I sensed he started distancing himself.
He later said that it was because both of us were half depressed as a result of all the stress we were going through. I think he got scared of me staying with him. He would refuse to visit me at my university... At some point he told me we did not have any relationship and that long distance thing did not count. He offered me sex with no commitments. He told me I was free to find someone else, if I was unhappy with that.
I lacked social support that time and I got severely depressed. I was trying to dig myself out and started meeting more people. And so I fell in love with another man. It did not work out - I was not my normal self. A day before sleeping with that guy my ex called me and I asked him if he wanted to have a child with me. He said if he did not know me well, he'd think I am crazy. I swear if he took me seriously then, I'd not go after that other man.
My ex got very hurt and offended. He told me he never expected me to dot that. So we broke up two years ago
A year ago my friend convinced me to have a talk with my ex again. He was still hurt and said that though he was missing me, he did not want to get back. He said he does not love me any more.I accepted it finally and moved on. Since then, I have dated other guys and even had a short fling.
He got a great job. He was sure he'd find a prettier, younger, more successful woman than me, but was overly confident about him being a hot commodity. When I asked him directly about it, he agreed.
Now the interesting part. Since I got depressed I was not working well I fell out of favor in my department. My ex checks in with me periodically and takes really deep interest in my life. I was annoyed at the beginning but since he is a bright guy and I need help now, I finally accepted that. When he learned that I lost funding he offered to support me. And he does. He invited me to stay with him so I'd not have to pay for rent, have comfortable conditions and his support to finish my dissertation.
WHY ON EARTH IS HE DOING THAT??
if I ask him if he's still interested in me, he'd say no.
I have to decide whether to accept his invitation and stay with him till I finish my dissertation. Or I have to bite the bullet and do it here, alone with no money and no support from anyone. I have no idea how to do that... I am afraid that if I agree to stay with him, he'd give me false hopes again or that he would hurt me again.
I am sorry for such a long text. Thank you i