Love myself? But I'm an asshole! :x

[Meskazc]

I was told that before I get into another relationship that I should learn to love myself. I have a history of very low self worth, and I tend to stay with girls who are bad for me just to "have someone".

How do I love myself? I might be breaking up with my girlfriend soon so this is obviously the perfect time to learn. What is the first step? I'm so lost as to what to do! I know that when I break up with her I am going to be depressed..how do I stay strong? SO many questions..

[exrann]

Well, let's start with what you don't love about yourself. Why do you think you're an asshole?

[sweetkissesforu]

[url=http://www.kalimunro.com/tips_self-love.html]Self-Love - Tips For How to Love Yourself[/url]
Try these tips

[Meskazc]

Well, I hang onto girls that I know aren't good for me leading them on just for the sake of having someone.
I've cheated on a wonderful girl, it was my first time doing it and I feel absolutely horrendous (it's been months since it happened and I still feel bad :/)
In the course of a month or two I've broken two girls hearts, one of which is my girlfriend ^^^ and the other is the girl who I cheated with
And I feel like I just can't be alone. I'm afraid to be single and I'm always jumping into relationships. /).(\ I'm disgusting!
But points for recognizing all my flaws..not. ><

[smackie9]

You cheat because you don't really care for these girls. You admitted that you choose to be with them only to have someone.

You want to break this, you need confidence in yourself to know it's ok to be on your own. You need to feel comfortable in your own skin. Why not try introducing positive activities in your life to occupy your time. Go to the gym and work out, go hiking and see natures wonders, Take some courses at your local college to educate yourself more, do charity work to learn about giving selflessly.....all these things builds character and confidence in yourself.

[exrann]

First things first: forgive yourself. I've forgiven you because I know that you are aware of what you did and that it wasn't the best decision. Cheating happens, and it has always happened before. What's done is done, and don't let the lesson go to waste. So, what I'm saying is, you acknowledged what you did was bad and you should learn from it, don't repeat it, and forgive yourself. There's no use crying over spilled milk. If you need to give yourself closure, you can write a letter to each girl without sending it. It helps vent out all your emotions and then move on.

I dated a guy once that had just gotten out of a relationship, got into a relationship with me, and then we lasted for a good six months before we broke up. Not even a month was up and he was with another woman. He only came to recognize what he was doing after that relationship failed. I highly suggest you recognize that now because the things he's going through today are not pretty--lots of identity issues. He just never gave himself time to develop his character and personality and it ended up hurting him when he wanted to move onto different playgrounds in life.

The worst thing you can do to yourself is stifling your inner development. If you can't get to know who you are, then what's the point of life? What you should realize is that you're not giving yourself enough respect to give yourself the time of day. You need to go out and do things you enjoy, by yourself or with people you view on a platonic level. You'll come to love your personal space and time where you get to be you to the fullest. Whether that may mean hiking, swimming, painting, listening to music or doing yoga or anything. Once you've developed a sense of self, you'll come to value other people differently.

[SelflessnHumble]

I was told that before I get into another relationship that I should learn to love myself. I have a history of very low self worth, and I tend to stay with girls who are bad for me just to "have someone".

Well, see that?
Staying with someone just so that you have someone tends to paint a picture of past abandonment/fear of being alone.
Having low self worth is ENTIRELY your doing; having honed and refined your low sense of self worth through
months or even years of doing so all at your expense...Truth be told even if you grew up predisposed to an unhealthy
environment the accountability you neglect to take hold of is still your responsibility because inaction can be just as powerful as inaction.

...All of this thankfully can be turned downside up
and you can begin to see things are they are not as you feel they are.
I used to blame my father for his verbal abuse...When I finally realized that I *chose* the manner in which I reacted
I began to realize I was always in control of my emotions: even though I used other people as the catalyst, cause or scapegoat to avoid
owning up to what I did or didn't do as a result of my nativity. Perception can be very powerful. Use it to your advantage!

How do I love myself? I might be breaking up with my girlfriend soon so this is obviously the perfect time to learn. What is the first step? I'm so lost as to what to do! I know that when I break up with her I am going to be depressed..how do I stay strong? SO many questions..

Loving yourself is an easy process but a patient one.
See in order to love yourself you must be open to the idea of love.
Giving up your needs for the good of others or even just one person: is love.

Walking down the street and seeing someone who may need help crossing, or with groceries
all while doing it with a smile on your face: is love. Letting someone go ahead of you
is kind. Helping someone unload their groceries from their cart: helpful.

It is very easy to love any and everything and to appreciate what you have been given (because life in itself is a gift)
is a beautiful and wonderful thing...

Unfortunately you cannot be told what these things are until you experience them...Why?
Well truth is self evident and no one can tell you what the Matrix is...Make sense?

Humble yourself and see the good in others. If and when someone says "F U!" Just think, "wow." and walk away...
Be slow to speak, and slow to anger. A heavy heart is an unhealthy heart.
Do not stress and don't carry baggage around with you: give it away.
What I mean is don't let what happens in life curb your enthusiasm.

Always remember this: YOU can only control WHAT you can control.
Never the will of others and never the change of others!
Life will test you when you are getting somewhere...don't ever give up: persevere.

Be empathic: see people's feelings and opinions through their eyes -in your mind.
Be compassionate: Go to a place to volunteer your time and effort for someone elses benefit without receiving
anything in return. Hug someone that seems to need a kind and warm embrace.

Lastly, find out what you like to do.
Foods, hobbies, writing, whatever.

Then apply a mechanism that allows you to accomplish something original by doing it all yourself:
-Read about a recipe and make it your own. Affirm your results and SAY IT (not just think it) "Wow, this is really good!"
-Write and print copies of your original work. Give it to a few of your peers and see how they react.
-Playing a sport: practice and practice. Then when you get exceedingly proficient: play with others.

Get involved in team oriented/organized events where one relies on the other to arrive at a goal set.

AFFIRM your feelings always.
Communicate with openness and honesty.
Don't lie to people. It dirties your soul.
Don't ever allow a temporary failure to impede your goal!
Look in the mirror and smile at yourself and make silly faces. Laugh again. (Do it daily)
Talk to yourself (just don't argue with yourself, k?)

That little voice inside of you?
That's your personal intuition: get in touch with it. Refine it.
Above all else: EXPERIENCE LIFE!!!!

Always try new things always! You just might surprise yourself with what you find.
Break ups are an inevitable part of life, growth and development: an experience.

Enjoy the time together and choose mates that don't lie, cheat, nor have selfish traits.
This way the worse that can happen is that you aren't a match and/or you have disagreements.
(which can be resolved without arguing, fighting and/or yelling at each other)

You have to have respect, have tolerance and offer acceptance for other people, no matter what -no matter what!
Loving yourself is just as easy as hating yourself.

(Don't ever hate yourself, nor hate other people) Why?
You must realize that the components that encompass a person's life/mental state and awareness
are merely extensions of that person...Example:

You don't HATE Jennifer when she yells at you...
You dislike the way she acts when she is upset (with you)
Conversely, you don't ever bring up past arguments/events
to justify a point or to drive someone/their self worth into the ground.

Actions define intent, not your thoughts and not your words alone.
Don't internalize your feelings/emotions and don't let them control YOU!

I guarantee you that love will manifest in your life and you will love yourself
if you just read these words and allow them to enter an open mind.

Just be sure to experience these for yourself and always apply what you've learned...

You've nothing to lose and everything to gain!

P.S: Sometimes we are all assholes!
You can still love yourself when acting an asshole!
Once you see that asshole action take hold of your emotional state:
You now at that moment have a duty to curb it.