Hey everyone. I'm glad to have found this forum. I read through some posts and people seem very helpful!
I have a problem I've been dealing with. I know in a way it is all in my head, and maybe I am over reacting... but, I just can't stop these thoughts in my head...
Let me give you some background. I have been with my wife for about 7 years now(5 years 'going out', 1.5 years engaged, and about half a year married). The first 4 years were pretty good, we had no problems. In fact, we still have a very healthy relationship, I can't complain in any way about our physical relationship. My problem has to do with jealousy I guess. I was a virgin when we got together, she wasn't. That was fine with me, and still doesn't bother me that she had guys before me, but I think that fact, does kind of spill over into my jealousy or thoughts which I'll be getting into here soon...
So my wife and I(before we were married) we broke up at about 4 years into the relationship(she broke up with me, we were living together, I came home one day, and she and her stuff were gone). We got back together about 3 weeks later, then broke up again for a week, then got back together again for good(been 2 to 3 years since this). But during that short split up, I thought she slept with someone else, and during the time me and her were back together (inbetween the two breakups). I asked her a couple times, and she swears she never slept with anyone during that time, but there were texts messages on her phone that were quite fishy(these texts play over and over in my head, I can't stop them...)
Ok, so we moved passed that, and we got engaged a few months later, then married after that. Well, 5 months into our marriage, I looked online at our cell phone account(both phones on same account - hers and mine, different numbers of course though)... but I went online to check the payment, and I noticed she had over 1,000 text messages for only about 10 days! I was curious, and noticed that she was texting one guy, all day, all night, seriously, 100 texts a DAY, if she is awake for 14 hours in a day that is about 7 texts an hour. I confronted her about this, in a very calm way. I didn't yell at her, in fact I was very sad so I probably seemed more depressed when asking than angry. But she said it was just 'friendly nonsense texts'. She did stop texting that number since then, and her texts for this last month were only 100 texts for the WHOLE month)... Some other things about the texts... she had this persons name under a girls name in her phone... I checked her phone before talking to her. I typed in the number, and it said it was a girls name... well I called the number, and was direced to the voicemale of 'mike'... Also, the texts were not on her phone, they were deleted(and this is before I talked to her about it... before she knew I knew about the texts).
Anyways. She has been going on some 'girls nights out'... not often, but like 2 a month. Once about 2 months ago, she didn't arrive home till 5am... My problem is. I just can't get these bad thoughts out of my head. I can't stop thinking she will cheat on me, or has(even though I have no proof, I can't stop thinking about it)... Texts messages roll through my mind that I read off her phone from years ago, other things come up in my head... like the time she got really wasted at a bar and was unzipping and flashing her boobs at people(yes she had a bra on... but still....)... And now she is out getting drunk at a bar... will she get that drunk and stupid.... I dont know. I know I have to give my wife some space, cus everyone need some time away with other people... but I don't like that her time away is going out to bars with her single friends.
I dont' know. I guess I just needed to type this... As I type this, she is out right now at a bar in her hometown. I once went to a bar in her hometown, some guy came up to her and said hey baby and gave her a big hug. He was really a rude type person. He made a joke during our short conversation and said to my wife(just my GF of 4 years at the time) 'So you were with him when we were ****ing'? She laughed at this joke.... He basically called her a cheating slut, saying he slept with her, while she was with me... and she laughed at this joke? she should have been like, 'Of course, not, I would never cheat on him, so on, so on...'... but she laughed at it...
Anyways... I'm done for now... Thanks for taking your time to read this