Dateless

[smileyface]

As a lot of you guys who've read my posts, I've never been on a date and that I've been rejected. This question may sound the same as my other posts but, I need a REALISTIC view on what makes you guys ask out a woman you're interested in. Seriously guys: what do I have to do to give you the green light for you to approach and ask out on a date if you're already interested? I've never been approached (but I'm super shy, I'll not look at anyone's face when out especially guys' faces). I still know that if I wasn't shy they'd still probably not approach me.

My 20 year old sister has yet to go on her first date. She's had guys interested in her but not ask her out on a date. Instead, she'd go over to their house or go to the local races.

It's very strange... my sister is now pregnant by a guy she's seen for a few weeks and he's never asked her out on a date once and they were going to get married after meeting twice. I'm so embarrassed that I've never been asked out. I'm feeling beyond ugly and repulsive.

I feel undeserving of anyone's love, I couldn't even get my parents' love-- cuz there's something wrong with me and my siblings. I get super jealous when I read posts on this forum about people in relationships and when I see girls with super sexy guys holding hands etc. when I'm out... which is rare. I only go to Wal-mart, library, mall (rarely), church, and maybe a couple of fast food restaurants.

I'm wanting to apply at this restaurant in the mall-- I have an old neighbor friend who works there. I'm hoping to meet guys there and maybe some cute guy customers. What should I do to become more dateworthy? Also: someone who's super shy and never goes out what would be your advice to me when I get a job and meeting guys? I'm not a troll-- I need some realistic advice that's all!

[Don Max]

i assuming your pretty insecure about some things don't you?

first things you should do is making your self more secure..
you seem to be a bit desperate.. like you can't be happy without a guy in your life.
first thing to do is to shake this thought away from your life.. everyone is able to live his/her life without a man/woman
your beeing born alone and you will left the earth alone.
desperate people get avoided like the plague!.

next thing about the insecurity
like i said before you have to make your self more secure
and the only way to do this is do the things your the most afraid of.
your saying that your super shy. well act towards it.. it may be scary but the feeling that you accually tried to overcome that certain fear(in this case the shyness) makes you more secure(not much but a little but every little bit will eventually make you super secure and also really social.)

if you have insecurities about your body
work on them.. you don't have to completely change but if you have things you don't like about yourself try to improve them.
keep this in mind 'if you aint love your self how can someone else love you?'
this all maybe overwelming in the beginning but if you just work this way you will get more confident and not only girls like confidence guys do to!
and you will see results.. you will react much more flirtier towards the guys you like and they even may act on it! and then it all happens like an instinct!

i hope this helpt you a bit into the right direction.

[xxazurexx]

Stop willing romance into your life and it will appear. That is the way it always has been for me anyway. Or maybe it's not that it appeared and because I never pursued, but more to do with the fact that I'm not and never have been totally fixated on bagging a bloke and as soon as possible, but rather got on with my life, was happy in my life and myself and therefore I attracted people to me.

If you have a real problem with shyness and confidence, enrol in some of those classes that help with shyness and confidence.

Having a man in your life won't help overcome these problems and solve other issues you may have.

And how old is your sis? Pregnant and about to marry a man she's met TWICE?? That has gotta be the dumbest thing I have ever read on these forums.

[smileyface]

My older sis is 20 and she is no longer seeing the guy. He's Chinese and after seeing each other twice in person they were going to sign the mariage license when she came to her senses and decided to not sign the marriage license. He was mean to her and now she's had to call the police cause he won't leave her alone cuz he thinks it's his baby which my sis isn't 100% sure cuz she supposedly slept with 2 other guys.

She told the chinese guy to leave her alone until she could get a dna test done. She was talking to another chinese guy but he stopped contacting her after she slept with him after first meeting him.

[sookie6]

My older sis is 20 and she is no longer seeing the guy. He's Chinese and after seeing each other twice in person they were going to sign the mariage license when she came to her senses and decided to not sign the marriage license. He was mean to her and now she's had to call the police cause he won't leave her alone cuz he thinks it's his baby which my sis isn't 100% sure cuz she supposedly slept with 2 other guys.

She told the chinese guy to leave her alone until she could get a dna test done. She was talking to another chinese guy but he stopped contacting her after she slept with him after first meeting him.

This is someone interesting drama going on!

My advice for you is to always develop a fun and varied circle of friends. Join the gym, take on new activities, join clubs, societies...never turn down genuine invitations...the more people you meet the more opportunities you create...also always come across as cheerful and easy going...the most important part being to often have a smile on and to be super super feminine (discreet make up, skirts (not too short), if you're showing some legs don't show too much cleavage and vice versa..)...and smell nice and wear some cute jewlery..play with colors that suit you...et voila!!!

[Yet another guy]

What should I do to become more dateworthy? Also: someone who's super shy and never goes out what would be your advice to me when I get a job and meeting guys?

In my experience, if people don't ask you out, the only way to get on a date is to ask them out yourself. I know, its hard because you seem to be almost as shy as I am.

How to get even the shyest guys to ask you out? Flirt with them. Make it obvious.

[Boisdevie]

I think you need some therapy as your problems sound very serious. Being unable to look at men in the face is just not normal.

[blent]

Why would I choose a shy girl over a confident girl?