My Teenage Dream

[MrBojangles]

I think you should be more direct about moving your relationship with him forward and think less about going forward physically. If he likes you for 5 years he wont ditch you just because you wouldnt have sex with him in the first month or whatever. Im a guy, if a girl sleeps with us too soon we dont want her anymore. Why? Because there is no time to build on anything in the relationship so if you have sex and nothing else then the relationship will reflect that.

This is my advice, be direct, grow balls because he doesnt have them. Any guy who it takes 5 years for to get a kiss is gonna leave you unsatified when it comes to moving forward. So tell him the truth, tell him you want to go out on a date with him. On the date then, slowly take things further, its important not to rush. That's my advice. I have limited experience so take it for what it is.

[atodd]

I understand where you're coming from. I know myself, and I know I won't be comfortable having sex. I used to want to wait until marriage. My last boyfriend is actually doing that... but now I know I just want to be in love and in a committed relationship-- call me old fashioned!

My thinking is that if our relationship does not progress beyond friends after tonight, then he'll respect me more (and it will be less awkward later) if we don't have sex. One the other hand, if I were a guy, I wouldn't want to have a long-term relationship with a girl who gave it up the second time we were intimate.

We'll see what happens! I'm pretty sure he's not going to back out.

[atodd]

HE'S ON HIS WAY!
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[atodd]

I feel like the only way I can make sense of this is in detail. hah

So, he comes over and we go straight to the grocery store to get beer and wine.

We're just friendly and talk. We come back to my house and drink a beer and talk for a long time..then I remind him of the hot tub and we get in and talk more. He said it was a good idea. Nothing sexual or flirty went on--no touching or anything.

Then, we decide we're both sleepy and hot, so he suggests watching a movie. We get out and put our clothes back on. We pour ourselves some wine and put in the movie upstairs. We both sit on the couch, and he puts his arm around me. Then, I finish my wine and lay in his lap (with his arm on top of my waist). We're just watching the movie, commenting and laughing (because we've both seen it like 3 times already). I kind of turn, so he puts his hand between my knees, kind of. We watch a good amount of the movie without him making any kind of a move!

I finally get up to go to the bathroom and come back and tell him he can lay down..so, we spoon with his arm on my hips. I kept inching towards him...until finally I was facing into him. lol. It still took him like 8 minutes to prop himself up and finally kiss me. We make out a little and then I suggest going to my bed for more room (I know, scandalous).

We didn't go very far, but at one point we were both naked, and he was like, "What do you want to do?" I just respond with a giggle, and it turns into us laying there naked. Then, we both get sleepy and just talk some. I ask him if he's going to come to my college town (like hint, hint..that's a big reason why I don't want to go further). He's like, "Idk, I'm thinking I'm going to make it down there..I just have to figure out money and my baseball schedule." We talk more, and at one point he asks me when I'm going to Europe this summer. I tell him the dates (10 days). He's like hmm, that's not long. Then, he asks when I'm studying abroad. I tell him around the end of August until the beginning of December..but that I wasn't positive it was going to work out. He kind of paused, and then he agreed that it sounded really cool.

At one point, I laugh for a second, and he's like, "What??" I tell him that I was thinking about the letter I gave him when I was a freshman. And he was like, "Well, what do you think about that letter now?" And I say, "Idk, I think I was silly and that it was super cliche." And he's like "I remember what it was about, but not what it said. You were just a freshman." And I was like "Yeah, I remember what it said..embarrassing." He said, "Don't worry about it!" with a smile. He also asked me if I liked his hair shorter or longer. I said I liked both.

He finally said that he needed to go because he was a sleepy boy. So, to the intense background music of our movie (lol), we got dressed and I walked him downstairs to get his stuff. He kissed me and said he'd probably talk to me tomorrow, and then he told me goodnight.

I just texted him: "I had fun tonight. Sorry I wasn't ready to go further..", and he said: "no i had fun too! honestly i wasn't ready to go further either," and I said: "Hah. Ok, good! I wasn't sure. You know I'm a virgin, right?", and he said: "yes...its fine. you know im not though right?", and I said: "Yes. I gathered. Which is normal. ha"

SO, that's my night!

Comments would be fabulous. Since neither of us really opened up, I'm not sure what's going on. That's OK. I'm glad we didn't go any further than we did.

Woo!

[shadowMike4d4]

That guy has some RADICAL will power to lay naked with a girl he's liked for that long and not try anything...like, not even make an advance...I mean damn I consider myself to have good will power but in that position I dunno...

He's defiantly a keeper type...ignore your mom and keep developing this relationship, you have MY blessing for whatever its worth. =P

[Gratedwasabi]

Atodd, way to go. That sounds wonderful.

Do me a favor. Stop fretting for a second. Take a deep breath. And realize this guy accepted and likes you quite a bit. You had a wonderful night. Stop worrying about it, that was fantastic.

He's shy. And respectful. That's why he didn't push you into anything and made you give him really clear signs first. It's a very good thing. A player or any sort of horndog would have had you naked and at least doing.. things.. but he respects you and followed your lead. Very, very good. And him asking about when you'll be gone is an extremely good sign. As is the hair thing.

He really likes you. Take a deep breath and enjoy it. Have I led you astray yet?

[Boisdevie]

What. You guys are young right? Full or raging hormones. And you're lying together naked and nothing happens?

[atodd]

Thanks, guys.

shadowMike4d4 - It didn't seem like it took much will power for him! Also, he said he wasn't ready to go further in the text, as well. So, Idk. I'd like to think it has nothing to do with how attractive he thinks I am or how good I was. haha
Thank you for your blessing! I'm still really worried about my mom/brother. I never specified what happened on NYE, and I lied and said he wasn't coming over this weekend while they were gone. I just didn't want to have to completely deal with the situation if it didn't end up turning into anything...which, maybe it still hasn't.

Gtatedwasabi - I'll try to stop over-analyzing and stressing. (: You're right...I mean, what good does it do, anyway? I think what I'm struggling with is that my last boyfriend was really touchy/feely and he fell for me HARD at the beginning. It actually took months of him pursuing me before I even gave in..then a while after that before my feelings met his. He contacted me all throughout the day, and I always knew exactly how he felt about me at the beginning. John isn't like that. He's pretty aloof, doesn't direct his feelings, and isn't super touchy/feely, I mean...that's probably a factor in what has kept me interested in him for so long. hah

I worry that the study abroad thing threw him off. I mean, that's understandable.. not only are our colleges 4 hours apart, but I'm also wanting to be out of the country for around 4 months. He tells me that he's still not sure what he's going to do once he graduates in May. His plan is to write up a new resume and send it out all over the country...in hopes of finding a job. Then, he might go to grad school somewhere later. Idk.. I can see all of this being an issue in the near future. (again with the fretting)

Boisdevie - Honestly, we were both pretty tired...and I'm just as happy with talking/cuddling as I am with being sexual.

[shadowMike4d4]

I can't picture a guy not using SOME will power to hold himself back from a girl, and I'd be shocked if he wasn't at least a bit aroused by you...but that's not a detail that needs sharing.

Sometimes family only THINKS they know best when in reality they don't. I know people with family like that and it irritates me...

I frown a bit that you're into him after all this time simply because he's not direct but don't mind that...but then I'm not the one courting you so doesn't matter. Enjoy your time with this guy, you can go far with him.

[red_sparrow]

.. the first part of this made me horny..

[smackie9]

Oh good god just go for it. It's obvious you have to initiate everything with this guys so be the aggressor. Start up a passionate LDR with him and see where it takes you. So who cares what you mom says about him. You just want to date him, not marry him.

[atodd]

Haha.. I mean, sure..you're right. I'd like to point out that I resent being the "agressor"--makes me feel like it's one-sided or that I'm acting desperate.

Blahh. I'm going to have to have "the" conversation with him to some degree before we leave, aren't I? Neither of us have been clear as to where we expect this to go.

[Gratedwasabi]

Haha.. I mean, sure..you're right. I'd like to point out that I resent being the "agressor"--makes me feel like it's one-sided or that I'm acting desperate.

Blahh. I'm going to have to have "the" conversation with him to some degree before we leave, aren't I? Neither of us have been clear as to where we expect this to go.

He's obviously really shy. It's not one sided, he's just sort of a chicken.

You should avoid making it "the" conversation and make it "a" conversation. Don't make it like a confrontation. Be complimentary. Tell him you like him and you've always wanted to try dating him and you'd like to give it a shot. Go from there.

[shadowMike4d4]

what they said...be aggressive but not forceful. Let him know how YOU feel.

[atodd]

Okay. Y'all are right.

I know he was supposed to be busy today, but he hasn't contacted me. I planned on not contacting him first until tomorrow night (if he still hasn't called me). We both leave on Tuesday.

I was just going to say something like, "I had a lot of fun this break. I hope to see you soon." ...but should I instead include something about liking him and being interested in how this might progress?