Always friend zoned and frustrated!

[evans]

Don't hook up with anyone just to prove something to the girls you've been rejected by, wtf. It's very douchey, and I guarantee your "exes" won't react as you want them to. They didn't want you, why would they care that someone else has you? They might be bummed that you're not going to be around as much to buy them dinners anymore, but that's about it.

I'll tell you my impression of you and why you're not getting girls interested in you. You're not fun. No offense, but it's in the way you write, and how you write about yourself:





Sheeeesh. Spending time with you is probably very tedious and dull. Honestly, you sound insufferable. It's okay to be an introvert, but you still should adhere to social norms and be enjoyable to others. You say that a lot of people don't like you, yet you question "where the F* does the problem lie." I think you need to demand logic from yourself as well. It's you. The problem is you.

I'm not offended. I have no emotional value ascribed to you, therefore, impossible to be offended by you. One cannot by definition be offended by an x entity that which they are not attached to. My cognitive dimension is predisposed towards logical modelling so asking me to be logic is par "The red apple is red". The fact that a lot of people doesn't liked me is irrelevant to my being rejected from the opposite gender. I don't like adhering to herd mentality; its one of the few things next to nationalism which I have a mental inertia towards and that which repudiates me.

[MerryH]

Okay, it's impossible for me to offend you. Great. I won't make attempts at sugarcoating things anymore. Thank you for your permission.

Look at all your big words! Good thesaurus skills, you insufferable brat.

Listen, you don't get a free pass on acting like a normal person just because you have some "special" opinions. (Hint: your opinions are not special, every semi-aware person thinks like this at 13 years old, congrats on going through this at 21.)

The fact that a lot of people doesn't liked me is irrelevant to my being rejected from the opposite gender.

Irrelevant? The "fact" that a lot of people don't like you is highly relevant. You think girls are so different from the rest of the people who don't like you? That females are somehow completely different with basic human interactions? They are not. They do not like you for the same reasons these "people" do not like you. I'm sure you can get help for this once you realize it's a problem.

Glad I'm not offending you.

which I have a mental inertia towards and that which repudiates me.

Fuuuuck youuuuuu.

[evans]

Thread has been prognosticate to potentially lead to nowhere, and shall henceforth be closed.

[MynameisJesus]

This discussion might lead to nowhere indeed. There's only 1 thing I'd like to add mr Evans.

You describe yourself as highly individualistic, indifferent towards social events.

I am not very emotionally driven and emotionally disconnected from people

The title of this thread sounds very emotional and hopeless though. Contradiction

Love and relationships are not rational things like you want em to be. Rationality and logical reasoning take place in the frontal brain cortex. Attraction takes place in the limbic brain so your demand for reasons, logic and rationality is completely irrelevant here

[evans]

Don't hook up with anyone just to prove something to the girls you've been rejected by, wtf. It's very douchey, and I guarantee your "exes" won't react as you want them to. They didn't want you, why would they care that someone else has you? They might be bummed that you're not going to be around as much to buy them dinners anymore, but that's about it.

I'll tell you my impression of you and why you're not getting girls interested in you. You're not fun. No offense, but it's in the way you write, and how you write about yourself:



Sheeeesh. Spending time with you is probably very tedious and dull. Honestly, you sound insufferable. It's okay to be an introvert, but you still should adhere to social norms and be enjoyable to others. You say that a lot of people don't like you, yet you question "where the F* does the problem lie." I think you need to demand logic from yourself as well. It's you. The problem is you.

Put it in another way: I'm way above her intellect to communicate with her but given the valid consideration that I made the effort-where in no any way am I obliged, socially or legally to comply-to compromise by listening to her boring rants, I see no reason as to why she cannot do the same. Social normalities are for herds mentality driven majorities. The statement "a lot of people doesn't like me" is not a univocal to the validity of the statement "There is something repudiating about me". What is very frustrating is the very fact that the girls whom I have went out with are by no standards on par with me; that is to say, they are lower in the sense of physically attributes, finances and intellect. On this view, why should it be the usual state of affair that I am the one doing the most work, only to see some other guys jump in the competition, with no real competitive edge over me, win the said girl over. I normally do establish a comparative judgement in the context of dating, but constantly failing when I'm in essence someone with a good character, nice, good, and no push over, but keeps failing makes me angry.

I remembered disconnecting from a rejector after being manipulated by her, and when I did moved away from her, she came back after a year later( after breaking up with her bf) and asked to meet up for some coffee. We ended on a bad note...coffee? yea right. I told her right off the bat that I do not see an value nor purpose with being friends with her, and that she is a parasite to all aspect of my well being. Guess what? She got very defensive and angry. She has no rights to be angry. Sometimes, the things with female species is that they are in a conflation with what they, in theory, wants, and what they are attracted to in practice. Evidently, the only times I am successful with girls are when I'm tipsy in the club. This leads me to think that girls are jerks lover. Nothing wrong with that, but girls should just accept this God DAM FACT.

[MerryH]

You really think way too highly of yourself and your writing abilities.

But fine, whatever, great - you're way too smart and intellectual to listen to her boring bullshit. Totally. Don't follow the "herd mentality" man, be the unique snowflake that you are. Stop trying. Girls aren't your thing. Be alone forever. Problem solved.

Or you can try to be likable.

Girls who are not "on par" with you still reject you? What does that say about you? It's YOU. Please at least consider this.

Here, I will give you a tip about interacting with humans:

Don't try to sound smart. Just speak (and write) like a normal human being. Let me give you an example of you trying way too hard:

Thread has been prognosticate to potentially lead to nowhere, and shall henceforth be closed.

This doesn't make sense. Do not say or write anything like this ever again. Tone it down. Be free! Use prepositions at the end of sentences! Abbreviate!

Can you just write your thoughts out, like, sort of as they happen in your head, rather than expressing them like you're a ****ing robot? Do this in real life, too.

Just being someone with "a good character, nice, good, and no pushover" doesn't automatically mean that you deserve a girl. You need to work harder.

[evans]

You really think way too highly of yourself and your writing abilities.

But fine, whatever, great - you're way too smart and intellectual to listen to her boring bullshit. Totally. Don't follow the "herd mentality" man, be the unique snowflake that you are. Stop trying. Girls aren't your thing. Be alone forever. Problem solved.

Or you can try to be likable.

Girls who are not "on par" with you still reject you? What does that say about you? It's YOU. Please at least consider this.

Here, I will give you a tip about interacting with humans:

Don't try to sound smart. Just speak (and write) like a normal human being. Let me give you an example of you trying way too hard:


This doesn't make sense. Do not say or write anything like this ever again. Tone it down. Be free! Use prepositions at the end of sentences! Abbreviate!

Can you just write your thoughts out, like, sort of as they happen in your head, rather than expressing them like you're a ****ing robot? Do this in real life, too.

Just being someone with "a good character, nice, good, and no pushover" doesn't automatically mean that you deserve a girl. You need to work harder.

All it does says it that there are certain factors in the modelling equation which are unaccounted for. This exemplification can be liken to following analogy. Suppose one is propositioned to purchase a genuine 20 carat diamond at the cost of a mere dollar by a salesperson, but rejected on the basis of the propositioned being too good. It doesn't make sense theoretically.

Such style of writing, and speaking has been the usual state of affair as far as my existence goes. Where am I trying too hard? I'm not even trying anything here. I have an impairment in writing in a manner concrete and spontaneous. Writing and thinking in an abstract manner has always been an integral part of my cognitive dimension.

Look, you seems to be missing out on the larger canonical fine points I am attempting to put across. I can't help if I'm intelligent, but in no way have I ever used my intelligence to undermine her self-worth. If anything, it was the reverse. Given the truth that people are fundamentally different, why can't she do the same as I did to her listening to her supposedly boring topics relative to my perspective. Friend zoning isn't an interesting experience, and the only proferred solution I can come up now is to be immerse in a continuous state of anger so as to override all sense of positivism towards the opposite gender. You might think its inappropriate but having tried so hard and for so long, and with my given qualities, why should I be the one doing the work. Work harder in what sense? Being an ass hole you mean? I'm no asshole but I've no qualm cocking the gun and aiming it at point blank in the face of my sergeant as I did once if someone were to overstep the line.
It would make for easier communication and lesser frustration if girls would be truthful about what they want of a man-someone who is an asshole-instead of going about saying they want a man with qualities the polar opposite that which they tend to go after. I think most guys feel this way.

[Take2]

evans,

No, you cannot expect someone to put up with your annoying BS just because you put up with their annoying BS. At least, not without getting them to agree to it. See, to them, their BS isn't annoying! Plus, you can't contract with someone for something without their knowledge or consent. That just isn't how it works. If it annoys you when your mate is not your intellectual peer, your only solution is to find someone to date who you deem intellectually worthy. Which I know does suck, because the smarter you are, the fewer potential mates on par with you there are. And if you have other criteria, as you should, the search gets challenging. But there's nothing for it, you have to accept someone's limitations or find someone else who doesn't have those limitations, those are the only options.

Also, if you want to use big words AND you want everyone to think you are smart and not showing off, you need to learn to proofread better. Typos are no big deal, but when tense and verb/subject agreement problems litter posts that are also filled with AP English vocabulary words? I tend to think the writer is trying too hard. Intelligence is reflected in effortlessness.

I have met a couple of people online who have Asperger's, and they write very similarly to you AND report similar issues with interpersonal skills and forming relationships. Have you ever been evaluated? If that is your issue, there are many resources available to help you.

[VincenzoG91]

There are a truckload of people who doesn't like me due to the simple fact of my personality being a highly individualistic one, and as well as being facts-oriented. I disregard social pleasantries and social idiosyncrasies. I do not like mingling around too much with people because I do not thrive in a manner which extrovert do. The "take it or leave it" attitude aforementioned in your post seems a little too vague. Perhaps you'd like to be more specific? All I'm aware is that I'm not very emotionally driven and very emotionally disconnected with humans. I have no qualms telling any girl whom I'm interested that she is in the wrong if she is in the wrong, in front of her enemy, if her arguments or conducts are irrational. I demand reasons, logic and rationality.

But I don't like marketing myself. I like eating alone, shopping alone and doing everything alone and, most of the times not please when someone wants to intrude my personal space and time. She leads the conversation most of the time because she loves to go on talking about concrete issues such as like her families, girlfriends and work collegues which are boring. I like discussing philosophy, law, physics-abstract topics- but she doesn't possesses the mental capacity to keep on par with my cognitive mobility.

Which puts me in a personal quandary. Establishing a friendship with a potential mate ensures a certain probability that I would at least be able to extol a sound judgement on her character, temperament and personality. I wouldn't want to pursue a potential mate and thereafter realize that she is incompatible with my temperament.

If all this is true, I don't understand why you are dating. It's pointless. Some people just don't need other people at all, and can't be bothered to develop even rudimentary social skills, and you seem proud to be that way. So just stop dating.

However, your solitary life does seem to bother you on some level, so maybe you are deluding yourself. Maybe you could try re-joining the human race instead of pushing people away with big words and rude behavior. If you work at it, you might even find some woman who will put up with your eccentricities and bring some joy into your life.

[evans]

evans,

No, you cannot expect someone to put up with your annoying BS just because you put up with their annoying BS. At least, not without getting them to agree to it. See, to them, their BS isn't annoying! Plus, you can't contract with someone for something without their knowledge or consent. That just isn't how it works. If it annoys you when your mate is not your intellectual peer, your only solution is to find someone to date who you deem intellectually worthy. Which I know does suck, because the smarter you are, the fewer potential mates on par with you there are. And if you have other criteria, as you should, the search gets challenging. But there's nothing for it, you have to accept someone's limitations or find someone else who doesn't have those limitations, those are the only options.

Also, if you want to use big words AND you want everyone to think you are smart and not showing off, you need to learn to proofread better. Typos are no big deal, but when tense and verb/subject agreement problems litter posts that are also filled with AP English vocabulary words? I tend to think the writer is trying too hard. Intelligence is reflected in effortlessness.

I have met a couple of people online who have Asperger's, and they write very similarly to you AND report similar issues with interpersonal skills and forming relationships. Have you ever been evaluated? If that is your issue, there are many resources available to help you.

I do not typically spend time scanning my post in a forum prior to submitting it so grammatical errors are a normality as I always am more interested in putting forth the information rather than perfecting the grammatical construct.

Yes, I haven't been able to find anyone-friends or potential dates alike-who are capable of comporting to my interest and mental mobility and that is mentally antagonizing. In response to that, I have tried lowering expectations but even so, I can't seem to move beyond the initial physical attraction phase. A posterior knowledge informs me uniformly that females, and potential dates do find me attractive, but somehow, I never am able to get into an official relationship with them. I cannot understand where the problem-in the real sense of the word-lies. All I know is, no matter how much and hard I try, I keep failing. On a more pertinent tangent to this issue, I am starting to blame myself for failing to decipher the root of my incompetency.

I have not been evaluated for Asperger's syndrome, but have recently been diagnosed with depression and I have been charted by the Myer-Briggs type indicator to be an INTJ profile.

[evans]

If all this is true, I don't understand why you are dating. It's pointless. Some people just don't need other people at all, and can't be bothered to develop even rudimentary social skills, and you seem proud to be that way. So just stop dating.

However, your solitary life does seem to bother you on some level, so maybe you are deluding yourself. Maybe you could try re-joining the human race instead of pushing people away with big words and rude behavior. If you work at it, you might even find some woman who will put up with your eccentricities and bring some joy into your life.

If all this is true, I don't understand why you are dating. It's pointless. Some people just don't need other people at all, and can't be bothered to develop even rudimentary social skills, and you seem proud to be that way. So just stop dating.

However, your solitary life does seem to bother you on some level, so maybe you are deluding yourself. Maybe you could try re-joining the human race instead of pushing people away with big words and rude behavior. If you work at it, you might even find some woman who will put up with your eccentricities and bring some joy into your life.

Solitary life does bother me on a minimum level, but not as much as failing constantly-four times- without understand the realizing the root cause of it. I've a huge appetite for personal time and space which are vital for introspection, but that does not necessarily preclude my need for companionships. I'm not proud with my lack of social skills, and neither am I feeling the antithetical of it. Social pleasantries are plainly illogical and I see no reason why anyone would want to adhere to some primitive social practices just because it has been around for a long time. Reality is nothing more than a pawn of ideas.

[Take2]

You cannot have it both ways. You have to pick. If you choose to eschew social niceties, the cost is that you will not have many relationships of any sort, romantic or platonic. If you really want friends and romantic partners, the cost is that you will have to conform to societal norms to some extent, even if you find them ridiculous and irritating. That is logic, it is simple, what part of it is confusing you?

[MynameisJesus]

Put it in another way: I'm way above her intellect to communicate with her but given the valid consideration that I made the effort-where in no any way am I obliged, socially or legally to comply-to compromise by listening to her boring rants, I see no reason as to why she cannot do the same. Social normalities are for herds mentality driven majorities. The statement "a lot of people doesn't like me" is not a univocal to the validity of the statement "There is something repudiating about me". What is very frustrating is the very fact that the girls whom I have went out with are by no standards on par with me; that is to say, they are lower in the sense of physically attributes, finances and intellect. On this view, why should it be the usual state of affair that I am the one doing the most work, only to see some other guys jump in the competition, with no real competitive edge over me, win the said girl over. I normally do establish a comparative judgement in the context of dating, but constantly failing when I'm in essence someone with a good character, nice, good, and no push over, but keeps failing makes me angry.

I wonder how you can still eat. You are so full of yourself. You sound like Narcissus himself
I don't even believe your intellect is so fantastic. In fact intelligence is the most misunderstood word there is because it has more aspects than people realize.
You might have some talents but if you have your social skills and wonder why people don't like you, you have the social intellect of a peanut.
I don't believe you will ever be in a succesful relationship. There is just nothing to love about you

[Take2]

I do not typically spend time scanning my post in a forum prior to submitting it so grammatical errors are a normality as I always am more interested in putting forth the information rather than perfecting the grammatical construct.

This is nonsense, by the way. First off, if your intent is to communicate, grammar is not optional. When you use a string of big words slightly incorrectly, you make it exceedingly difficult to understand your posts. And then people are less likely to read them or respond to them. Grammar adds meaning, that's why it exists.

Secondly, educated and intelligent adults THINK in grammatically sound sentences. You may well see typos (since typing is a skill rather than a thought process), but disordered and chaotic sentences reflect a disordered and chaotic thought process.

Thirdly, intelligent people don't need to prove they are smart. Good communication is about using the clearest and most straight-forward words that will work to convey the meaning. Purposefully writing convoluted sentences with pretentious word choices does not reflect intelligence, it reflects self-importance and immaturity.

[MynameisJesus]

This is nonsense, by the way. First off, if your intent is to communicate, grammar is not optional. When you use a string of big words slightly incorrectly, you make it exceedingly difficult to understand your posts. And then people are less likely to read them or respond to them. Grammar adds meaning, that's why it exists.

His intent is not to comunicate. His intent is to show off with something he doesn't have and to seek for sympathy and pity

Secondly, educated and intelligent adults THINK in grammatically sound sentences. You may well see typos (since typing is a skill rather than a thought process), but disordered and chaotic sentences reflect a disordered and chaotic thought process.

I'm getting the impression that OP has autistic qualities to be honest with you

Thirdly, intelligent people don't need to prove they are smart. Good communication is about using the clearest and most straight-forward words that will work to convey the meaning. Purposefully writing convoluted sentences with pretentious word choices does not reflect intelligence, it reflects self-importance and immaturity.

Again, this isn't communication. He doesn't listen anyway, nor does he care