Always friend zoned and frustrated!

[the_robot]

You know what? I think you are a troll. No one can be so socially inept, I mean, I am socially inept, but that's just being completely retarded.

[evans]

You know what? I think you are a troll. No one can be so socially inept, I mean, I am socially inept, but that's just being completely retarded.

Ad hominen argument once again.

I'm not socially inept. What you're attempting to argue has been covered in the earlier pages.

[Take2]

No, the reason I think you misused the word has nothing to do with my ability to understand simile and metaphor. I have a degree in English literature and write for a living, thanks. The reason I think you misused the word is because you either have it backwards or just don't understand the word at all. You may repudiate social norms, but you claim they repudiate you...and societal norms as a construct do not judge anyone at all. Also, thinking of people as a system is not an abstract concept, it is an extremely concrete concept, and a well-accepted one.

Since you have repeatedly commented on your superiority to the women you want to date, I say that you LOOK down on her, even if you don't speak down to her. And people don't like that, it feels bad and it makes them defensive. It also makes you look bad, especially when you seem to have a lot of mannerisms that make you appear to be trying to look smarter than you are. Just an unappealing combination altogether.

There is no onus on me for anything, I have a boyfriend and have never had trouble getting one. You want to know why you have trouble, I suggest that your attitude of superiority and avoidance of physical contact, conversation, and social niceties pretty much keep you from ever GETTING two months into an exclusive relationship. My proof is only anecdotal, not a study, so take it for what it's worth. But those 3 things are pretty much essential to the early stages of dating, and then to the sustenance of a relationship.

And I think you misunderstand women entirely in your last paragraph. A mature woman doesn't need an outlet for "tantrums." My preschool daughter looks immature when she has a tantrum, it certainly isn't apropriate behavior for an adult male or female. Women (and men) appreciate emotional support, in early stages and later stages of a relationship. The depth of that support will change over time, naturally.

[evans]

No, the reason I think you misused the word has nothing to do with my ability to understand simile and metaphor. I have a degree in English literature and write for a living, thanks. The reason I think you misused the word is because you either have it backwards or just don't understand the word at all. You may repudiate social norms, but you claim they repudiate you...and societal norms as a construct do not judge anyone at all. Also, thinking of people as a system is not an abstract concept, it is an extremely concrete concept, and a well-accepted one.

Since you have repeatedly commented on your superiority to the women you want to date, I say that you LOOK down on her, even if you don't speak down to her. And people don't like that, it feels bad and it makes them defensive. It also makes you look bad, especially when you seem to have a lot of mannerisms that make you appear to be trying to look smarter than you are. Just an unappealing combination altogether.

There is no onus on me for anything, I have a boyfriend and have never had trouble getting one. You want to know why you have trouble, I suggest that your attitude of superiority and avoidance of physical contact, conversation, and social niceties pretty much keep you from ever GETTING two months into an exclusive relationship. My proof is only anecdotal, not a study, so take it for what it's worth. But those 3 things are pretty much essential to the early stages of dating, and then to the sustenance of a relationship.

And I think you misunderstand women entirely in your last paragraph. A mature woman doesn't need an outlet for "tantrums." My preschool daughter looks immature when she has a tantrum, it certainly isn't apropriate behavior for an adult male or female. Women (and men) appreciate emotional support, in early stages and later stages of a relationship. The depth of that support will change over time, naturally.

And I'm an undergraduate in philosophy and theoretical astrophysics.

Social normalities, while are non-living, are considered metaphysical entities. They possesses predicates and qualities and this attributes and sufficient in itself to effect chains of causality. Thinking of people as a system is an abstract concepts just as in the same way, people can be viewed as a composition of data units and atomic constructs; no fundamentally different from external objects(e.g., chairs, tables, apple), rather than what concrete thinkers would argue them to be a being of flesh and blood. That said, I've no intention of entering into a semantics argument with you.
I have mentioned that my attitude of superiority is a subconscious one. It is not displayed under normal circumstances, only in circumstances whereby I feel indignant where and when I'm venting my frustrations on issues I've been shortchanged. You've been constructing assumptions and assertions of me looking down on her and have not fulfill your epistemic obligation.
I'm an egalitarian. I do not look down on her during the time I was going out with her. I'm showing a superior attitude now because I'm venting my frustration.

You're missing the point in a verbose manner. What I'm saying is that females tend to be put-off by guys who are available for them, but the moment they enter into an exclusive relationship, they demand their partner to be sensitive, assuring and emotionally accommodating to them. Something has to be at play here. Is it some kind of biological imperative or some immature dating games?

All I'm trying to say is that given my qualities, I cannot arrive at any conclusion as to my constant rejections.
So how about you just educate me on the importance of physical touches during a date, id est when and how often should I do that.

[Take2]

I am saying it is not my experience among female friends or my personal preference as a woman to be put off by guys who are available for us. I do want a sensitiv, assuring and emotionally supportive mate. So I look for those qualities in men I meet before I start dating them. I offer those qualities in return, I do not proceed in potential relationships where they are lacking. Based on my experience, I would have to guess it is an immature dating game, and that if you find more mature dating prospects you will not see that as much.

Dating is about intimacy. Not just physical, I mean emotional, intellectual and physical intimacy. Intimacy should escalate from the moment a romantic interest is mutual until it peaks, and the pace of that escalation will be mutually determined. If it isn't increasing at all, the relationship fizzles. The woman is likely to be watching your pace to determine your interest, all while she sends you cues as to her pace. If you don't match, she loses interest. Eye contact, shared jokes, a touch of the hand, a smile, a story about an embarassing moment-all of those things increase intimacy, build a bond, and also show that the bond is building. If you don't talk and you don't touch, then at the end of your date, you are still no better than strangers sharing a bus stop. You can't expect a woman to leap into your arms after 2 months of sitting next to you in restaurants and movie theaters, even if you pay for all those things. You need to be sharing your feelings and thoughts and touches more every time you are together. I can't tell you the number and timing of those touches and exchanges, because they are determined by the budding relationship itself. I can't even tell you the optimal number and timing of those touches and exchanges for ME, because it is different with every guy as the relationship has its own pac that is only pertially determined by me.

[evans]

I am saying it is not my experience among female friends or my personal preference as a woman to be put off by guys who are available for us. I do want a sensitiv, assuring and emotionally supportive mate. So I look for those qualities in men I meet before I start dating them. I offer those qualities in return, I do not proceed in potential relationships where they are lacking. Based on my experience, I would have to guess it is an immature dating game, and that if you find more mature dating prospects you will not see that as much.

Dating is about intimacy. Not just physical, I mean emotional, intellectual and physical intimacy. Intimacy should escalate from the moment a romantic interest is mutual until it peaks, and the pace of that escalation will be mutually determined. If it isn't increasing at all, the relationship fizzles. The woman is likely to be watching your pace to determine your interest, all while she sends you cues as to her pace. If you don't match, she loses interest. Eye contact, shared jokes, a touch of the hand, a smile, a story about an embarassing moment-all of those things increase intimacy, build a bond, and also show that the bond is building. If you don't talk and you don't touch, then at the end of your date, you are still no better than strangers sharing a bus stop. You can't expect a woman to leap into your arms after 2 months of sitting next to you in restaurants and movie theaters, even if you pay for all those things. You need to be sharing your feelings and thoughts and touches more every time you are together. I can't tell you the number and timing of those touches and exchanges, because they are determined by the budding relationship itself. I can't even tell you the optimal number and timing of those touches and exchanges for ME, because it is different with every guy as the relationship has its own pac that is only pertially determined by me.

Its hard to find anyone whom I can connect with on an intellectual level at where I reside. Connecting with a potential date on an emotional and physical level isn't an issue, but it requires, on my part, a longer duration, as compared to most other guys. I often find myself caring more than what I can express and this very deficiency in ability to express my emotion impedes the advancing of the relationship. I also find it hard to observe and understand her body languages. People have repeatedly stressed the importance of body language as being a more valuable and accurate prediction of intentions but I find it otherwise. It is ambiguous, unlike verbal communication which is direct. I'm a total handicapped.

[Take2]

Honesty is your best policy. Tell her that you are having a hard time putting how you feel into words rather than remaining silent. And if you want to kiss her and can't tell if her body language is good or bad for that, tell her "I really want to kiss you, but I am remarkably bad at reading body language and I don't want to get smacked." It could be an endearing quality to her, but only if you let her in. If you just sit in silence, she will likely interpret that as dinsinterest in her or an empty brain!

[evans]

Honesty is your best policy. Tell her that you are having a hard time putting how you feel into words rather than remaining silent. And if you want to kiss her and can't tell if her body language is good or bad for that, tell her "I really want to kiss you, but I am remarkably bad at reading body language and I don't want to get smacked." It could be an endearing quality to her, but only if you let her in. If you just sit in silence, she will likely interpret that as dinsinterest in her or an empty brain!

Well, thanks. She has a bf now and I'm not going to do anything. I would even settle for her even if she changed her mind now. I wouldn't be seen as someone who settles for some 'leftovers'.

I have no confidence in dating anyone else for a long time, and given my bitterness and pride, I think I'll settle for social escorts as an alternative.

[MerryH]

Social escorts, as in prostitutes?

I mean, you could try to put a little effort into changing your terrible attitude or being pleasant to be around, but yeah, **** that, paying someone to pretend to like you is much easier. Good luck with that, I guess.

[evans]

Social escorts, as in prostitutes?

I mean, you could try to put a little effort into changing your terrible attitude or being pleasant to be around, but yeah, **** that, paying someone to pretend to like you is much easier. Good luck with that, I guess.

I don't pay them to like me, I pay them to talk to them, and as well for companionship minus the sex.
Its high time you stop accusing me of terrible attitude. You shouldn't be expecting anyone to play nice when they're obviously in a foul mood. I certainly don't act in a manner like this on a date, nor under normal circumstances. I'm acting this way because I'm obviously frustrated so that shouldn't be too surprising.

[MerryH]

So...because you're frustrated, you think we should just enjoy reading your really misguided rants and pat you on the back and tell you you're wonderful?

Regardless of the reason you're displaying a bad attitude, it's still there. And I'm not basing that just on your behavior here, it's certain opinions you have, like how you think you're really much better and smarter than most people and you shouldn't have to change because you're perfect and always right. That, and you're a misogynist.

So tell me more about this prostitute thing. How many times have you hired a woman? Do you call an escort service or just pick them up on a street corner? And you just talk to them? No sex involved? I think you're doing it wrong. That's cool, though. Whatever makes you happy.

[evans]

So...because you're frustrated, you think we should just enjoy reading your really misguided rants and pat you on the back and tell you you're wonderful?

Regardless of the reason you're displaying a bad attitude, it's still there. And I'm not basing that just on your behavior here, it's certain opinions you have, like how you think you're really much better and smarter than most people and you shouldn't have to change because you're perfect and always right. That, and you're a misogynist.

So tell me more about this prostitute thing. How many times have you hired a woman? Do you call an escort service or just pick them up on a street corner? And you just talk to them? No sex involved? I think you're doing it wrong. That's cool, though. Whatever makes you happy.

Sure I am displaying a bad attitude. Everyone has temper. I'm sick of being taken advantage of by the opposite genders and I believe I echo the sentiments of other males caught in a similar position as I am. As usual, you've been asserting proposition while not fulfilling your epistemic obligation. I'm angry because being nice entails being taken advantage of.
Yea, no sex involved. I'm not a highly sexual person. I did it through an agency, for the fun of it as like my friends. Few times, for dinner and parties. What's so taboo about it. I don't go round picking some girls off the street. I wouldn't have anything to do with an escort but overtime, it seems to me that escort do not play games unlike your typical Jane.

[Take2]

Yea, no sex involved. I'm not a highly sexual person. I did it through an agency, for the fun of it as like my friends. Few times, for dinner and parties. What's so taboo about it. I don't go round picking some girls off the street. I wouldn't have anything to do with an escort but overtime, it seems to me that escort do not play games unlike your typical Jane.

That may actually be your perfect solution, and I mean that sincerely. If you want someone to accept you for who you are without requiring any social niceties and you don't really like most of the aspects of a romantic relationship, paying a beautiful woman to kep you company fits the bill. She will be delighted by what you say, content with whatever you are willing to give, and willing to give you whatever you want in return. Just do not be fooled or fool yourself, of COURSE she is playing a game. A game of charades, she is literally being the woman you pay her to be. This may work very well for you, but do not think that you will ever find a real woman who can or will live up to the expectations you build from these perfect "dates." What you like about them is that you don't have to give anything of yourself, having compensated for that lack with your wallet. A real date won't accept cash in lieu of reciprocal interpersonal connection.

[evans]

. A game of charades, she is literally being the woman you pay her to be. This may work very well for you, but do not think that you will ever find a real woman who can or will live up to the expectations you build from these perfect "dates."

And that is par for the course. Clearly, there must be a demarcation drawn between the construal of physicalism and an ideal.

[shadowMike4d4]

The first page is all "don't be a friend and don't give a shit about their problems"

that's like saying "make yourself the opposite of their ideal partner and they'll want you"

is that just because of the "mothering hen" complex? They only want guys they think need fixing?