When his actions say commitment, but words don't!

[jessZ]

So I've been seeing a new guy for just two weeks, but we've been friends for around 5mths. We met as colleagues, but no longer work together. I've been besotted with him for a long time, but nothing happened as he had a gf for much of the time we've been friends.

Just before Xmas, he broke up with her. A week later, we got together. All of his actions tell me he adores me and sees a future in this. He plans time together, dates etc all the time, calls a lot, I've met his parents, we're going on holiday to see my family at the end of the month, and planning another trip overseas in may. He is proactive, persistent and completely reliable.

But... After we went out for dinner a few nights ago, we were lying in bed and I mentioned to him that I 'feel good about us', to which he responded 'that's good', so I asked 'do you?' and he said 'i think so...' It was pretty disappointing to hear this, as I felt that things had been going really well...

Despite this, he has said to me on a number of occasions that he 'doesn't want to hold back' and hopes that I'm willing to take a leap of faith and see what happens between us....

I really respect this guy and I could see him as a great life partner. I'm 29 an he is 30. It sounds crass, but I really can't waste time on dead end relationships, because I want kids and want to settle down.

Any thoughts on what he might be thinking?? Should I listen more to his actions than his words?? Am I right to feel confused?!!

Thanks x

[Aniphilia]

Heres what I would say if I took my own advice : " Hey love, just want to get something off my chest about the other night, I was a bit concerened when I said I felt good about us and you replied 'I think so' when I asked if you did." "I want to clear the air so would you clarify for me if that was an 'I think we do feel good' or an " I think so but still deciding'. ??

Be face to face and wait till all is mellow but dont put it off or you may put out wierd vibes. Communication from the start builds trust. And you will clear your worries.
Its okay isnt it if he is still deciding? It is so early in the relationship. He sure does seem fab from what you said. Your proabably elated. But take care of you and he will see that you do. Im hoping its not a rebound thing.

[xxazurexx]

Just before Xmas, he broke up with her. A week later, we got together.

Too soon and for him to have jumped into something else I think. Best to get over your ex firstly and before you go looking elsewhere - else the new partner could find she is and was a 'rebound'.

So I've been seeing a new guy for just two weeks....

And after 2 weeks, you are sure he sees a future with you??? Or are you seeing what you want to see and because you are desperate to settle down and have kids??

LOL...sorry but no one is sure if they want a future with someone and after a mere 2 weeks together. You are either deluding yourself or he's bullshitting....probably so he could get laid quickly, which it sounds he did.

He plans time together, dates etc all the time, calls a lot, I've met his parents, we're going on holiday to see my family at the end of the month, and planning another trip overseas in may....

Sounds like a rush job. Don't be surprised if it all burns out, just as quickly....rushed situations and where you havn't taken time to get to know each other properly, usually do.

I really respect this guy and I could see him as a great life partner. I'm 29 an he is 30. It sounds crass, but I really can't waste time on dead end relationships, because I want kids and want to settle down.

Yeah, sounds like you are REALLY desperate to settle down.

Two weeks into a relationship and you have it all planned out and see it as a 'happy ever after'...my oh my.

[girl68]

Ummm yeah it's been TWO WEEKS. You sound like stage 5 clinger. CHIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. It's way too soon to be so needy and I WANT KIDS DO YOU LIKE ME!? Relax woman.

[Take2]

How in the heck did you meet this guy's parents in 2 weeks of dating? That would be a red flag to me that the guy may be a bit too tightly entwined with Mom and Dad.

But yeah, if you want this to work, you are going to need to chill. A lot. Two weeks is too soon to feel good or bad about "us." You will make him worry you are going to boil his pet rabbit if you aren't careful.

[Boisdevie]

Don't push this guy too hard - he'll get the hell out if you do

[broken6]

how long was he with his last girlfriend for?

[jessZ]

Thanks everybody. So, I don't think I'm clingy. We've had a good 5-6mths getting to know each other, have spent a great deal of time together before 'officially' being an item. He has been upfront with me about what he wants from a relationship, and in talking to him about hopes for the future generally, it is clear he wants a family and to settle etc.

I'm not desperate, but I do know what I want and I'm just not keen on putting energy into something that isn't 'for real'. yes, I have slept with him, but i can't see why this would be a problem..?!!! Sex is great and it seems pointless to me to hold out in an attempt to keep a guys interest. That might be effective for some guys, but they're the types that have old fashioned views on women anyway, and I'd prefer a more forward thinking male.

I suppose this guy is different to my exes...he seems to be all action and less talk, which is the polar opposite of most guys I've been with, who would be very open about their feelings but never really back it up with actions.
I've always been an independent person. I have a career that earns me more than enough money. I have a hectic social life and fitness schedule. I have several hobbies. I love my life, but yes, I'd like someone special to share it with, for sure!!! I'm just trying to work out whether he sees me as a person he'd like to do that with.