erectile problems

[sizzling]

thanks for the replies...working on a positive attitude...doc gave me cialis to get over performance anxiety, havent taken it yet...if i do take it should i tell my gf? she might question my hard/long last erection since i havent really had them often with her...but that might get me over the hump...thoughts?

[MrsHis]

My guy went through some problems like this early in our relationship. I remember trying to be nice about it, but going into the bathroom and crying my eyes out. If she has confidence problems, this is probably really playing on them.

I don't think you have to worry so much about her leaving. If she weren't really into you, it probably wouldn't matter to her.

This is just my advice, worth what you paid for it:

Try explaining to her that you're having trouble with erections, period. If you guys talk about porn/masturbation, tell her you're having trouble getting erections then, too. Are you having any other symptoms from your stress? headaches? sleep pattern issues? If so, tell her about them, too.

This conversation needs to take place outside the bedroom, not right after an issue. If she's like me and most of my girlfriends, right after a problem in the bed, when you say "It's nothing to do with you" she'll hear "You're a fat cow." if you say, "I haven't had this problem before" she'll hear "because the other girls I've dated were hot."

Spend some time stroking her ego (Flowers, massages, random compliments) to remind her that you care about her and find her attractive. She probably is as stressed as you are.

Let yourself off of the hook. You shouldn't have to feel pressured and guilty. If the two of you are close enough, tell her that this is difficult for you, too, and ask for her support.

My (now) husband's problems turned out to stem from stress, too. I actually talked him into seeing a doctor for stress because of other things. I never considered that was why he was having erection difficulties. He took a two week medical leave from work, had some talk therapy, started taking nerve medicine and viola - things are good now. :-) Not to sound crude, but I can't keep up with him most days anymore, so don't let yourself think that this is forever. Things will be okay!

Hope this helps!

[GeeTGee]

I would tell her for sure. Just explain that it's because you don't want to lose her and you want her to be happy. Tell her it's only temporary until you get your diet, health, stress, etc dialed in.
If she fusses over having to take a pill to perform then demand she doesn't go to anymore fake nail salons, etc. Lol

[IrisEyes]

The man I am with is experiencing the same problem. He admitted to me recently that he is having problems keeping an erection and it is really bothering him. At first I questioned if I could be the problem because we had been seperated for so long. He reassured me that it's not me, he still gets horny and finds me very sexy. He attributes it to lack of exercize (desk job/nightschool), smoking/drinking and stress. I am being very understanding and I do not make him feel bad. I did tell him that I think that it is also a mental problem as well because he is worried that he will not be able to finish or even start intercourse. I am considering making an appointment for him to see a Dr to show him that I support him and care about his sexual health.

The one thing that bothers me is HIS lack of release. His frustrations lead to other problems in our relationship. Like doppelgaenger said....focus on the solution.