erectile problems

[sizzling]

hi i have been together with my current gf for about half a year. everything is going great but i have trouble getting and keeping good strong erections. i think it is damaging her confidence a bit. she asked me up front if i have some sort of erectile dysfunction. i asked my doc and he says its probably due to stress etc. i just dont want her to leave me because of my erection difficulties. we both love each other a lot. i have started taking some supplements to help with issue (l-arginine, etc), we'll see if that works. is this something women would leave men over? how can i explain to her its not her at all? dont want to lose her and shouldnt be having these problems. im in my mid twenties btw. thanks.

[xxazurexx]

I guess there are other forms of sex (giving pleasure), that doesn't involve actual penetrative sex and until he got it sorted. So if it was a guy I loved I guess I'd stick around

[SelflessnHumble]

How much do you weigh?
What does your diet consist of?
What is causing you to *feel* stress? (Stress is an illusion)

[sizzling]

How much do you weigh?
What does your diet consist of?
What is causing you to *feel* stress? (Stress is an illusion)

weigh about 170 lbs (5'9")
usually eat pretty good (fruits, veggies, etc.)
stress from work, had bouts of depression in the past, tend to think negatively about things, guess it all adds up.

guess i have a tendency to be stuck in the head a lot during foreplay, etc. worrying about getting and losing erections, can't be helping...

[sizzling]

I guess there are other forms of sex (giving pleasure), that doesn't involve actual penetrative sex and until he got it sorted. So if it was a guy I loved I guess I'd stick around

we do do all other stuff its just a bit disappointing when an erection doesnt come, real confidence hit...she does love me and im definitely working on it and not sitting around so hopefully things will turn around in hardness department...

[girl68]

Maybe you need to speak to someone besides a DR. Perhaps someone could help you properly deal with your stress and give you tools or suggestions on how to let loose in the moment and stop focusing so much on your member performing.

Unfortunately if the problem was hopeless, absolutely hopeless I might have to consider leaving. Good news is I don't think you've exhausted all your options.

[SelflessnHumble]

weigh about 170 lbs (5'9")
usually eat pretty good (fruits, veggies, etc.)
stress from work, had bouts of depression in the past, tend to think negatively about things, guess it all adds up.

guess i have a tendency to be stuck in the head a lot during foreplay, etc. worrying about getting and losing erections, can't be helping...

If I were you: stop eating fruits.
Start eating proteins and veggies, heavy creams, saturated fats, nuts.
Avoid carbs except those from veggies.

Then: write down all of those triggers that cause you stress.
Create in your mind an imaginary waste basket like a computer recycle bin.

Put those things in life (that you know you cannot control) in there and press delete.
Bam, it's gone. You know that you cannot control things that are OUT of your control.

You can control YOU: and what you do: and how your body reacts to these triggers that are out of your control.
You can control your confidence, your erection (it's in your head) honestly. If you can see that thoughts, emotions
can actually create physical manifestations of these thoughts and emotions you are then able to change them...

Don't ever say you'll try because people who try: fail.
Instead say you will do it: and if you don't (keep going) relentlessly until you succeed: persevere.

[ftm]

I'm no doctor, but it sounds like it's psychological.

Do you get firm erections when you watch porn and/or masturbate? If so, then you know it's in your head. You need to do things to relax, particularly during sex. If your girlfriend is putting pressure on you, or is throwing a fit when you can't seal the deal. then she's part of the problem, too. You both need to be patient. I used to have this issue as well. Stress over sexual performance can make it even worse.

[IncognitoSir]

I'm no doctor, but it sounds like it's psychological.

Do you get firm erections when you watch porn and/or masturbate? If so, then you know it's in your head. You need to do things to relax, particularly during sex. If your girlfriend is putting pressure on you, or is throwing a fit when you can't seal the deal. then she's part of the problem, too. You both need to be patient. I used to have this issue as well. Stress over sexual performance can make it even worse.

Absolutely correct! I also had the problem. It was a combination of STRESS, bad eating and sleeping habits, and completely being out of shape. As stated above, clean up your diet and exercise some.......specifically lift some weights, helps your body produce more testosterone which in turn will increase your libido(urge). First and fore most you have to deal with your stress though, that's THE MOST IMPORTANT! She has to be willing to work with you in this matter, it's no quick fix.

[Sarcasticshoe]

A girl who actually wants to be with you for you, will not be bothered by whether you can get it up or not. Let her know, you are just really stressed right now (that is what the doctor said afterall) and give it some time. If she dumps you because you can't have sex -- she's a waste of air....

[sizzling]

thanks for the replies guys! i've been reading "the hardness factor" and am going to implement the advice offered and see if that helps. had a really nice erection during masturbating today but even when i masturbate, i still have the fear of losing an erection...something is messed up in my head haha.

[sizzling]

hi, had another bout with erection problems last night...was fooling around with gf and just could not get it up...to be fair it was late at night and i was tired, and i told her that but she didnt seem to like the response...she told me she was getting discouraged and asked me if i had difficulties with other women before...i told her the truth that i didnt recall and she took it to mean that i only have difficulties with her...i am 100% attracted to her just dunno whats going on...i told her im working on it but how else can i comfort her? really like this girl and it really depresses me that im having such issues....argh...thanks!

[doppelgaenger]

Yes, she may eventually leave you if you can't come up with some kind of solution. I mean, if you can't get your ship in the water, you're just gonna have to dive right into that muff and nom nom away.

[sizzling]

Yes, she may eventually leave you if you can't come up with some kind of solution. I mean, if you can't get your ship in the water, you're just gonna have to dive right into that muff and nom nom away.

that makes me sad...i definitely dont want to lose her and have been working on enhancing erections (nutrition, exercise, etc.)...im going to try everything i can...just thinking about losing her gets me really down though, which cant be good for erections (depression probably does not help)...argh

[doppelgaenger]

You should be more positive about it and look for solutions instead of pitying yourself. Perhaps considering a visit with the doctor to pinpoint your problem?