UPDATE from "what does this mean?"

[xxazurexx]

My guess is, he'd still have married a Muslim.woman and despite if you had 'everything' a man wants and dreams of.

He was probably promised to some Muslim woman the day he was born. His dads brothers daughter, perhaps?

They look after their 'own' women and their women 97% of the time come before 'us'.....end of.

[Homelife]

My guess is, he'd still have married a Muslim.woman and despite if you had 'everything' a man wants and dreams of.

He was probably promised to some Muslim woman the day he was born. His dads brothers daughter, perhaps?

They look after their 'own' women and their women 97% of the time come before 'us'.....end of.

I have no idea and his parents are deceased. Yeah, I should have known. Hopefully we can talk face to face. You believe in karma??

[Bo]

What hurts most is he talked as if we had a future but now, it's our cultures will clash. I ****ing hate him. When before it was, you have morals, you are this and that. I would love for you to be my wife. He was the one who kept pushing for us to be together. I remember I asked him to come to the wedding as my date and he was like no as your man. It's like why ****ing be with me then. i hope karma gets back at him. i dont deserve this. i should have known. how are muslim people open minded especially if they lived in a islam country all their life? and he still claims he love me, yeah right. it hurts i thought he was different.

I think it's makes you a bit immature because you're pretty much insulting his culture. He shouldn't have led you on but maybe he "thought" it could really work and along the way realized that it wouldn't.You are being very closed-minded by NOT seeing where he is coming even though you were hurt in the process. I'm sure he's not happy either, why would you wish anything bad on him?

[xxazurexx]

I have no idea and his parents are deceased. Yeah, I should have known. Hopefully we can talk face to face. You believe in karma??

I believe in 'what comes around often goes around'. I've known a few real life instances where you could say someone was paid back, for a wrong. But I also know those who could fall in shit and still come out smelling of roses.

[Incognito]

I stopped reading the posts after I got halfway through the first page because none of this matters. Even if he planned on totally abandoning Islam in the beginning she was going to leave him anyway. I do think she is better off not being with him for multiple reasons, but why play the victim role now just because you found out some new information? You were leaving anyway. Its done. Don't meet him to talk, especially now that you're angry, and stop playing this victim role. If he hadn't mentioned anything about this "other woman" or his family possibly not accepting you you'd have still dumped him. Different intentions don't change what you were going to do anyway.

[Homelife]

I think it's makes you a bit immature because you're pretty much insulting his culture. He shouldn't have led you on but maybe he "thought" it could really work and along the way realized that it wouldn't.You are being very closed-minded by NOT seeing where he is coming even though you were hurt in the process. I'm sure he's not happy either, why would you wish anything bad on him?

I am not insulting his culture, not intentionally anyway. I was mad but I really don't wish bad on him. I just wish like he knows that he hurt me and that's not okay. Not seeing where he is coming from? Close minded? What is there to see?

I believe in 'what comes around often goes around'. I've known a few real life instances where you could say someone was paid back, for a wrong. But I also know those who could fall in shit and still come out smelling of roses.

Yeah that's true. I don't even know what to think anymore

I stopped reading the posts after I got halfway through the first page because none of this matters. Even if he planned on totally abandoning Islam in the beginning she was going to leave him anyway. I do think she is better off not being with him for multiple reasons, but why play the victim role now just because you found out some new information? You were leaving anyway. Its done. Don't meet him to talk, especially now that you're angry, and stop playing this victim role. If he hadn't mentioned anything about this "other woman" or his family possibly not accepting you you'd have still dumped him. Different intentions don't change what you were going to do anyway.

What makes you think I was gonna leave him? Was I thinking of it, yeah because he distanced himself and something told me something is up. and I didn't know if I could really live in a totally different culture but I still loved him, I wouldn't have just given up on him.


Anyway, I still feel depressed and I have a bad feeling...
He was suppose to come get me so we could talk because he said he was coming on Sunday to see me. We didn't set a time but he said he will come on Sunday so we can talk in person. And even though I'm mad at him, when he says he is going to come, he is pretty honest about it. Instead he said he's not well and he doesn't know if he's coming back and no he's not in his country right now...And then he said Godforbid if I don't make it, I pray you shall forgive me so my soul can rest in piece. Yeah, yeah I am over him, I just want closure. And I have a feeling something bad happened or will happen.
I called him and texted him no response. And when I call or text, he always replies so...
And considering his situation, I don't think he's lying, I really think something bad happened. I don't even know. I just want closure to get the stress off me.
If it was just another dude, I wouldn't care about closure because I'm the type of person when shit ain't right, I keep it moving.But I just need closure. I didn't get to say everything I wanted to say. Also he sent me those onimous texts very early in the AM which is unusual. I replied much later because I was sleeping.
Call me crazy but I'm worried :/

[xxazurexx]

Godforbid if I don't make it, I pray you shall forgive me so my soul can rest in piece.

For him to rest in peace, you would need to forgive him...that is what they believe.

You know something hon, I don't think I'd bother sending anymore texts or anything. Perhaps I'd send another and ask how he is and say that you hope nothing serious is wrong, but if he didn't reply to that I'd let him go.

[Homelife]

For him to rest in peace, you would need to forgive him...that is what they believe.

You know something hon, I don't think I'd bother sending anymore texts or anything. Perhaps I'd send another and ask how he is and say that you hope nothing serious is wrong, but if he didn't reply to that I'd let him go.

I know it comes off as "too much" but I just want closure, that's all. I mean why say is he going to meet with me.

I sent him 2 voicemails, one time I said that I won't forgive him unless he aplogozies. second one i said whats wrong.

That's all, even if it's the last time of seeing him. I feel stupid but I just want closure. If it's really that he doesn't want to speak to me, then I can't wish him well sorry I hope karma gets him good. I have been stressed out for the past weeks and now I just, it's like when you reading a book and the last chapter is ripped out, you really wanna know the last ending so you try to look for the ripped piece. that's all you want so you know you finished the book.

If he doesn't get back, just one time I'm gonna send a long voice message telling him bye and that he doesnt have my forgiveness and that life goes on.

when will the hurt go away?

[xxazurexx]

I can tell you are really hurting over this and that isn't surprising. It won't last forever and we do get over hurt in time...I guess that doesn't help you meantime though.

He is probably feeling very guilty for what he did and overwhelming guilt can cause them to distance further. He probably dare not meet with you 'face to face' and because he likely knows that you won't be happy, he thinks there will be conflict and he wants to avoid any conflict that may take place.

Yes I'd do what you plan. If you get no word then send him a voice mail message and say what you have to say to him. Or mail him perhaps?

[Incognito]

Well not all things have some "ending" that you'd expect. Remember the way 'The Sopranos' ended? Everything just faded to black.

Anyway, I am like you in that I sometimes cannot leave things alone. I force myself to nowadays so that things don't get stirred up. That is exactly what you need to do. Walk away and leave this alone. Honestly, when I read the message that he sent you, coupled with his lack of response, my first thought was that he killed himself. I'll say it again, "walk away and leave this alone". If you pursue him and find out that he's dead you'll feel horrible, and it won't change anything. If you find him and he is ok you'll probably be more angry that he didn't answer your texts/messages, and it still won't change anything. The only thing that you are going to do by seeking your so-called closure is frustrating yourself. Even though you want this figurative 'final chapter' you'll be better off without it.

[Homelife]

Well, we got in touch. He was in the hospital because he was sick.

Anyway, we met up and talked. I asked him about the Muslim woman he met and he said he knew her from before. And he still claims that he loves me and it's like how can you kiss me or even say that when you plan on getting married. So, then he basically said I can become his additional wife. I'm like WTF? And he's like in his culture, it's allowed as long as you treat them equally. Also, he said how he preffered a woman from his culture and that if I come to his country, I have to basically assimilate to the culture, that I have to learn the language, basically changing myself for his asswipe sef.He later then said he can get me a plane ticket and I can see how his country is. I was like,"So, I am coming like a guest while you are married?" And he's like, "Fine, I won't get married yet and I'll get you a plane ticket and a hotel so you can see how it really is." I don't think I gave him an answer but he said he'll hit me up later.


Anyway, when I told my mom she gave me brutal honesty and it just finally clicked in. He really doesn't love or care for me, no way a man can love you and care for you and treat you like that. And even when we were talking, he is like you think I'm sexy and I said handsome. I call him cute and handsome and it isn't enough. And really he isn't that cute, average looking but his soul makes him so ugly.

So, I deleted his number and I sent a goodbye text saying that I'm too beautiful and too good and can and deserve better. I also said I know you don't love or care for me but I wish you no harm. Whether he tries to contact me or not makes no difference to me, I am totally over it.

I'm not even sad anymore, it's more like relief. being with him was stressful. and now that i think about it, i know that i really cared for him but i dont think i loved him. i think losing him was hard, maybe it was just really infaturation.

[curly1118]

I'm starting to think this is just a huge troll. Now he's in the hospital and it's all casual for you guys to talk? Hah.

So, then he basically said I can become his additional wife. I'm like WTF?

I call bullshit.^

And even when we were talking, he is like you think I'm sexy and I said handsome. I call him cute and handsome and it isn't enough. And really he isn't that cute, average looking but his soul makes him so ugly.

What does that have to do with ANYTHING?

[Homelife]

I'm starting to think this is just a huge troll. Now he's in the hospital and it's all casual for you guys to talk? Hah.



I call bullshit.^



What does that have to do with ANYTHING?

You think I'm lying, are you ****ing serious? I wish I was lying. He said he was in the hospital and that's why he didn't get back to me and apparently, according to him, he just left. I asked when can I see him and he said he's coming tonight. I was suppose to see him Sunday but he didn't get back to me. He came over to my house and we talked.

I guess I'm just trying to prove to myself that he really isn't shit. I am over him but I still care for him.

If you don't want to believe me, that's fine.

[curly1118]

I think you do have a problem with someone but I think you might be exaggerating or stretching the truth on certain things to make yourself look better. At the beginning of this whole thread you kinda came across as a bitch, no offense. Then people were kind of sympathizing with you. And then you drop this bomb where he says you can be his second wife? I really don't know about that.

And why prove to yourself that he really isn't shit? Are you considering being this "second wife" of his? If I heard someone say that to me I'd be out the door SO damn fast. I don't even know why you're still associating yourself with someone like that.

[Homelife]

I think you do have a problem with someone but I think you might be exaggerating or stretching the truth on certain things to make yourself look better. At the beginning of this whole thread you kinda came across as a bitch, no offense. Then people were kind of sympathizing with you. And then you drop this bomb where he says you can be his second wife? I really don't know about that.

And why prove to yourself that he really isn't shit? Are you considering being this "second wife" of his? If I heard someone say that to me I'd be out the door SO damn fast. I don't even know why you're still associating yourself with someone like that.

You don't know me and I am not trying to make myself look better. I have nothing to prove to you. I just wanted helpful advice. And I did admit that I didn't compliment him as much as I should. If you don't believe me, then just leave the thread.

I was too good for him and I didn't do anything to hurt him or anything. If I was this or that, then I could understand. And it had nothing to do with him losing his brother, I tried to be there.

Quick: He got back in touch with me through text and a call, saying it can't work out because of cultural difference. Suppose to meet him Sunday but he never got back in touch, but only those ominous texts. He said he was in the hospital. Anyway, we finally got in touch and he said he's coming tonight.

I thought I was gonna tell him goodbye but when I saw him, I still realized I wanted to be with him. We talked and yes he brought up marrying her. And that's when he brought it up. Then he said all this shit.

And yes, I am over him. I sent him a goodbye text telling him how I felt and even deleted his number
I cared about him which is why I stayed loyal to him. I kept making excuses. But logically I realized
that he was deceitful. And yes, I was considering taking his offer and seeing his country because I still thought I could make it work. And I thought maybe he would just be with me. But when I talked with my mom and told her, she was more brutally honest with me than my friends. It's like a lightbulb moment. If anything, I was naive.