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Thread: Office man, is he in to me?

  1. #1
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    Office man, is he in to me?

    I need some advice... It took some time to find out that I have feelings for a colleague (X). We work under the same direction, but on another department and building. We both are not in a relationship. I work there for two year, he for about nine years. When we see each other, we say hello and sometimes have a little conversation (on my initiative). He is very insecure with women (according to colleagues).
    In 2010, we occasionally ate together at the cafeteria, totally about 5-6 times throughout the year. First he was obviously not at ease, but after the third time he started to talk a little with me. When I see him with his (male) colleagues, he is in his comfort zone, is making jokes and chatting. My colleague, who regularly co-works with a male colleague of X, said one day that X inquired after me. Since that day his male-colleagues are teasing him with me. Which is very funny of course as X's head turns red every time my name drops, so he's an easy target.
    A month ago one of X's co-workers even asked me if I had hooked X. (I saw X hiding away.) I was flabbergasted with this improper question, however replied that there was no X and myself. On my way home that day, I ran in to X and he greeted me saying my first name for the first time with a big smile. We both went on in our own direction. Two weeks later, my company had a big X-mas party. I went there, X's co-worker was also there and said that X couldn't make it because of a training. Later that night - the wine made him talkative I guess - he said that he always is teasing X with me and that X didn't dare to come to the party anymore. I asked my colleague what to make of this. She didn't know and asked my feelings. I said that I like X, but I do not know him enough to make more of it now. My colleague adviced me, when I am interested in X, to take a chance and go for him.
    Well, since it seemed that I am the only one who is bothered that X is a colleague, a week ago I took a shot and I sent him a X-Mas card with an invitation for a drink after work with my private number. Well hey, I am not so courageous myself. So far, he didn't respond. Now I am beginning to wonder if the guy is in to me or not. What do you think? I decided to give him a little time to make up his mind -and make a move- do you think that I should make another move?
    Last edited by Amélie; 02-01-11 at 05:18 AM.

  2. #2
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    You have done as much as you can. You will just have to wait and see if he replies.
    T'a fait le maximum, maintenant il faut attendre. Bonne chance

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    Ya, girl it just the waiting game now. Good luck
    LIVE IT UP !!! IT'S.. OK, TO BE STUPID

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    Wait if he would not respond until the date you posted in the invitation. Sure thing he haven't have any feelings for you or just being coward. Please let us know what happened next.

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    So far, nothing happened. I had the Mexican flu for more than 3 weeks. Today I will go to work for the fist time since "the card". Hope to find out soon either that he has feelings or not, or that he's a coward.
    Just remember what the Monty Pyton boys used to say...

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    Hes probably not into you.

  7. #7
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    He is probably struggling with the call; would probably take him awhile to muster up the courage to call you. You should have just asked him casually if he want to have drink after work or something rather than send him a holiday card and make him call you. Yes, shy guys are THAT difficult; that is why they are no fun.

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    it sounds like he is a bit.

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    What will you do?

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    He doesn't like to call, he said. (He did not want to email me @ work.) We met yesterday, going to have a drink next week.
    Just remember what the Monty Pyton boys used to say...

  11. #11
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    I would not make another move until he does something to indicate he's interested. But you said you are going for a drink, let us know what happens.
    'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Alfred Lord Tennyson

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    He sounds shy, and I very much agree with you in taking the initiative that you did. I actually am surprised that he has not contacted you back.. maybe he is that shy?!??! I am sure it would be awkward for you both, but if you could -- ask him about it in person? to me, that would not be too aggressive. warm regards!
    Hunter S. Thompson once said "Buy the ticket, Take the ride."

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    Quote Originally Posted by speakerspoke View Post
    Having not bothered to read this thread I am already sick of your blog about being an office whore or whatever. Try candles and not sleeping with co-workers, hope this helps.
    I dont really understand how this could be helpful... isnt this a forum for people to post whatever questions they have in a bid to find some relatively useful advice..? Candles wont tell her if hes worth it or if hes going to call. If you dont like what youre reading then just dont read it. You dont have to be a bastard about someone else's issues - she didnt force you to read it.

    @amelie - youve done all you can, as everyone else said can only wait now. Though him "not liking calling" is a bit of a lame excuse. Props to you for going out of your way and making the first move (the card). Just remember if he thinks youre worth it he'll make it happen If he doesnt then at least you know where you stand and can move on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by speakerspoke View Post
    I think the advice of not being an office whore was valid. In fact many if not all companies have guidelines expressing this exactly.

    This would equate to you being an ignorant bitch. I accept your apology in advance.
    hahaha ha ha. that would have actually been more useful advice, perhaps she should consider if the company has a policy on dating colleagues.
    that aside, i still think you're a psychopath.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by speakerspoke View Post
    Having not bothered to read this thread I am already sick of your blog about being an office whore or whatever. Try candles and not sleeping with co-workers, hope this helps.
    My blog??? Office whore???
    N'importe quoi! I have an advice for you as well: you should contact your pall Jerry Springer. Perhaps he has some broadcasting time for you, as you see things that aren't there and have the same vocabulary as he. And for the record, I never dated a colleague before.

    Went out with my colleague a few times, don't know where it's going. Could be relation or friendship, most likely the last...
    Just remember what the Monty Pyton boys used to say...

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