Girlfriend dumped me after 6 months, SAID I NEVER INITIATED SEX

[Nikityan]

When we got together 6 months ago, on 6th date I moved into her parents house (basically stayed every night) I courted her briefly went on a few dates, kissed her on third date, hugged her on the next. Never got to the makeout part cause I moved in and we sorta switched gears from the romantic part of it. She NEVER gave me any kind of signs that she wanted sex she always teased me for awhile then after teasing she stops and I just feel horny and frustrated go to sleep kinda pissy.

Early on in the relationship she let me put it in her ONCE after like an hour of me getting frustrated playing with myself next to her. So she told me to put it in and I did and we had sex she didnt cum though so she was frustrated. AFter that she NEVER told me to do it again, we were together for 5 months after that NO SEX she only let me cum in her boobs TWICE.
I even mastrubated in her bed a few times while she was sleeping it was a big joke with us, as I later found out she was playing with herself secretly so much when I wasnt there her dildo broke!

At the end of the relationship we have a day where she keeps teasing me by sqeezing my stuff in my underwear the she stops again not proceeding. All day until the night, when she let me touch her all over and she teased me again and stopped then she said " A real man would either go relieve himself in bathroom or take it" So i tried to touch her everywhere but she said there were too many factors and she was not in the mood.

The same morining she broke up with me over the phone saying she wants me to become self reliant and love myself and find myself and get more experience sexually because she feels like she is my first girl (shes my second after my exwife of 3 years) and she doesnt want to be the teacher in the relationship.

What the hell did I do wrong people, wasnt I being a gentleman and not a perv like women want you women are compeletely ununderstandable, what the hell do you want from your man?!?!?!?

[ktm390]

you only need to post this once, and in only one section....probably??????

[Take2]

Seriously?? Why do guys do this?

You get into a ridiculous and frustrating situation than desperately needs communication, and you just sit there not knowing what it going on but refuse to ask. Then you complain that women are so hard to understand. If you really wanted to understand this woman, you would have talked to her about the issues you were having. Now, she's an idiot too since she also didn't talk to you. But she is right that you need to grow up.

You stayed over every night and engaged in foreplay often, but never had sex. You wanted sex. It sounds like the relationship was very poorly defined such that you were confused about what exactly it was. So, um, why not say "I would like to talk about where we stand because I am confused." And "I think you are hot and I would like to have a more physical relationship with you. I don't understand why teasing and playing seems to be OK, but we never move forward from there." And yeah, have some standards for what is acceptable. It is dumb of her to abuse you and then dump you for taking abuse...but if you refused to accept abuse you wouldn't end up with idiots like that and you would get hurt less in the long run, so her advise is valid even if she is a lunatic.

[Nikityan]

According to her I should have been picking up on all her subtle signals or as many women are telling me now, I should have been just taking charge and taking control sexually. I never did this and I guess it showed a lack of initiative just like the lack of initiative I showed in all the spheres of our relationship. I think you're right about speaking to her early on about all this but I was so enthralled by her experience that I just figured she likes to tease and I was happy to be with her so I guessed it was a good tradeoff. I never realized that my patience and me managining my sexual frustration was actually for some reason turning her off because apparently she wanted sex but did not like when I was groping her all the time. I just don't think I had any clue to what I was doing.

[ktm390]

live and learn

[MerryH]

I just don't think I had any clue to what I was doing.

This is true for many reasons. And the signs that you don't know what you're doing are glaringly obvious when you move into someone's house before fully knowing them. That was such a huge mistake. I hope you realize that.

You say she NEVER gave any signs that she wanted sex, but then you go on to describe her "teasing" you and playing with your junk. I think those are pretty clear signs that she wanted sex, but it sounds like you didn't do anything about it. She was trying to initiate it and you basically turned her down with your inaction. I'm sure this was very frustrating for her.

I'm sort of annoyed by your "Well I was a gentleman! How could she not recognize that! Women are not to be understood!" attitude in your first post, because you weren't being a gentleman, you were being a timid weirdo about sex and then blaming her for not appreciating your supposed chivalry or whatever. But I'm sure you're learn from this and hopefully recognize a lot of the (even non-sexual) mistakes you made so you can do better with the next girl.

Edit: Also, read Take2's post over and over again until you can recall it from memory the next time you're involved with a woman.