What a confusing world......

[integragsr8411]

So Ive been dating this girl roughly a month and we dont get to see each other all that often. Well anyway I saw her this past weekend and had the best time due to the fact that I was with her. Bowling/bar/got a lil dirty....just an all around great night. So I had to leave went to work sat and stayed ay my friends sunday for the superbowl....later that night she texts me saying that things are rough in her life and maintaining a relationship is hard for her right now she doesnt wanna be in one if she cant give 100 percent. I said I understand and thought maybe it was a space issue so for a few days I just lay low and let her contact me when she wants or needs me to chat....anyway i talked to her today and she just tells me men in her past have just treated her terrible and she not usedd to someone being there for her and shes pushing me away .......She says she really wants to be with me she just thinks that the issues she going through its worth more now to not be so close then to try and be hurt later......It sux she calls me all the time to say she misses me and is making an attempt to see me and doesnt wanna lose me.....wtf do i do? btw im 26 shes 24 ....I just wanna hear some advice n thoughts i know this isnt over its just drives me crazy

[DarkHelmet82]

give her space sounds like she wants to be with you but needs time to work things out.

[girl68]

She can't have it both ways. She's messing with you and will continue to do so if you let her. If she wants space, space is what she's going to get. Don't respond, block calls and ignore. If she doesn't want space you can take it slow but you should stand up and tell her you will not be played for a fool.

(She would honestly play you for a fool). Oh yeah, if you let her- play you that is,- 98% positive she'd be dating a new guy quite qucikly which leads me to believe it's you she doesn't want, but likes having someone want her.

[DarkHelmet82]

at least you know what she wants.. my situation i HAVE NO IDEA..

[IncognitoSir]

at least you know what she wants.. my situation i HAVE NO IDEA..

Quite the opposite actually. She has no idea what she wants! She talks like she wants space, but Acts like she still wants him. Stand your ground bro, the excuse she's giving you is bullshit. she's basically saying you're TOO good for her and she's used to being treated like shit and eventually she expects you to treat her like like the other men in her past did. WTF is that? She's putting the past on you. I think you need to back up, give YOURSELF some space and look at the big picture. At this rate you'll never be able to please her.

[DarkHelmet82]

right but shes telling him that she has issues she needs to work out..

[ktm390]

or if you want to **** her or keep ****in her just treat her like shit like she likes. dont be a pussy

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah i dont think that is the answer.. most girls eventually realize they dont want guys like that.. I wouldnt change who you are dude.. but thats your choice

[SelflessnHumble]

She has issues: She has bullshit drama baggage she has chosen to bring with her while she chose to be with you: This kind of person sucks.
The fact is: you don't know her, and neither does she, ironically. So...what to do?

She won't change for you EVER, so it's best to sit her down, and appreciate all the time (limited time, that is) she gave you and tell her
that while you understand how she feels, it's a deal breaker for you. You want someone who is secure, comfortable in their own skin and who is stable,
and who doesn't allow the past to dictate the present nor the future. Then walk away.

(1) She will respect you immensely for telling her the truth without victimizing her in order to do it
(2) This kind of talk may actually spark a change so that she can finally face her issues head on. (or not)
(3) Saying this brings closure so that YOU can get a good girl who gives you what you need...She isn't it.

Making an attempt: means squat.
Her facing her issues: means more.
She doesn't want to face them: for you much less for herself. Run.
If you don't: She will lie to you about many other things you don't know about.

[ktm390]

yeah i dont think that is the answer.. most girls eventually realize they dont want guys like that.. I wouldnt change who you are dude.. but thats your choice

bullshit that is the answer if he wants to **** her! that is what she likes obviously. unless he wants a relationship with her,,,,well its never gonna happen most likely.

[integragsr8411]

You know this last poster has the right idea the options arent harsh but the truth..... its that whole opening ur heart and shutting down that I dont do well ..... you know the ****ing confusing thing is that u know if i walk away im just like them i obviously didnt have the feelings that were sustainable. But if I hang around theres that chance of being hurt.... life is a crap game show 7 or 11

[integragsr8411]

She has issues: She has bullshit drama baggage she has chosen to bring with her while she chose to be with you: This kind of person sucks.
The fact is: you don't know her, and neither does she, ironically. So...what to do?

She won't change for you EVER, so it's best to sit her down, and appreciate all the time (limited time, that is) she gave you and tell her
that while you understand how she feels, it's a deal breaker for you. You want someone who is secure, comfortable in their own skin and who is stable,
and who doesn't allow the past to dictate the present nor the future. Then walk away.

(1) She will respect you immensely for telling her the truth without victimizing her in order to do it
(2) This kind of talk may actually spark a change so that she can finally face her issues head on. (or not)
(3) Saying this brings closure so that YOU can get a good girl who gives you what you need...She isn't it.

Making an attempt: means squat.
Her facing her issues: means more.
She doesn't want to face them: for you much less for herself. Run.
If you don't: She will lie to you about many other things you don't know about.

You know this last poster has the right idea the options arent harsh but the truth..... its that whole opening ur heart and shutting down that I dont do well ..... you know the ****ing confusing thing is that u know if i walk away im just like them i obviously didnt have the feelings that were sustainable. But if I hang around theres that chance of being hurt.... life is a crap game show 7 or 11

[SelflessnHumble]

You know this last poster has the right idea the options arent harsh but the truth..... its that whole opening ur heart and shutting down that I dont do well ..... you know the ****ing confusing thing is that u know if i walk away im just like them i obviously didnt have the feelings that were sustainable. But if I hang around theres that chance of being hurt.... life is a crap game show 7 or 11

Well, guess what man? Life is all about experiences...
Wisdom is all about applying the knowledge contained in these experiences, don't forget that.
People who don't have much experiences, let alone if they don't learn from them NEVER grow and fully develop: much less have character.

Truth is: all experiences contain knowledge: but only some are great, others are good but MOST of em suck to high hell!

The truth is: You don't have to open your heart to someone (all the way) Since you know are thoughts, feelings and emotions shape
not only our actions: but also our perceptions: then you can also create a mechanism to be apprehensive to a potential mate: and only give pieces of you: not the whole dang basket!

This is what happens if you do:
You can't breathe
You can't sleep
You can't eat...
You want to just die just so they could see you dying...

Guess what: you can avoid all of this bullshit by:

-taking control of your life
-Realizing the truth:

If you give your all and if still wasn't enough for the other person: they never truly appreciated you.
If you confide in your partner (by addressing an issue) and they choose to invalidate your feelings? They don't truly respect you.
If their version of "love, honor and respect" means to argue, deflect and put shit back on you? They don't really love you.


^^^Fact^^^

[RH2010]

Its a very very... maaad world..

[integragsr8411]

Well I told her if she cant handle a regular relationship that im gonna move on and well she said she doesnt want anything to change and really cared so were back together i figured a happy ending on this site would be good to hear