After 8 months of dating, bf found my old photos... since then, everything has changed. I have to admit, I was pretty slutty back then. A wild child, parties, sex, etc. Anyway, that's my past. I have no problem at all, however... I am so much stronger, wiser and am happily ready to settle down anytime soon.
Well, after discovering the photos.... he didn't want to talk to me for about a week. I don't blame him for that, I gave him the respect, space and time to think. I did explain to him that I am a changed person, no longer flirt around, and ready to commit.
Not long after the incident, he has decided to be with me - told me he was "okay" already and wanted to work things out again. But here's the thing, it's all easy talk. In this one whole year, there were times where he was still hesitating about us, reluctant to trust me again, and whenever we argued (if anything related to guys whom he got jealous of) he'd always bring the past out. He told me it is so hard to trust me anymore, and the traumatized event is still haunting him as if he has just seen the photos 5 minutes ago. There was once, he asked me (I don't know if he's joking or what) why was I that easy/loose before. And he said stuff like, million of boys have seen my body, touched and kissed me and that he felt so gross about me; especially during sex. He'd also say hurtful things like, "I don't know, whenever we have sex..I think of other men doing it to you" and he'd just get off the bed.
We did talk about it, I told him it's not okay to bring out my past and I deserve the respect. He apologized over and over again..but it's still the same. He can't handle the truth yet, he isn't willing to let me go. All these hurt me so much. I did try to convince him over and over again, I am not like that before. I understand if he's being insecure/worried but I've sacrificed so much in this relationship. I'd skip my girls' night out, stop contacting all my guy friends, stay at home, cooking, etc and I am doing all these because I want to be the person he has had always wanted me to be. But I failed big time.
We love each other so much; even plan to engage but deep down inside our hearts, this relationship is going nowhere. Guys, should I move on? Or rather, what else do I need to do??? I am so tired.