ladies, would a physical fault severly affect your feelings for a man?

[slowdancer]

Hello. My name is Ben. Right? Okay, so I was born a normal person and all, and lived in complete normalcy until I was about 14. I was diagnosed with a rare neuro-muscular disorder called Friedreich's Ataxia. Relatively what it is, is a balance problem. A really really bad one. It does indeed affect my day to day living and almost all normal social activities, but does that matter? cause I still try my best to do them all anyway. I walk with a limp, sometimes get vertigo and hold a wall.. should it affect how attractive I am? I also have a slight curvature of the spine (I've had multiple surgeries for it) and I don't think it's that bad, you couldn't tell unless I bent over or took off my shirt. On a bad day I would tell you differently.

So, I walk like an injured man, and struggle to make some distance.
I walk about a mile till my legs give out, I try to avoid stairs at all costs for fear of falling, but if their is a hand rail then it's no problem. I don't go to events like sports, because I could potentially fall and die on bleachers.
Need I continue?

Anyway, I don't think I'm a bad looking guy but it really isn't hard to piece together that something is wrong with me from a physical first impression. I don't have a confidence problem, and I have tons of friends that are females (options eh)

but it seems I've been turned down into the wickedness of the friendzone everytime.
I'm asking... is there good intentions in any females out there?
or am I just a pathetic unattractive piece of shit?
the hand of love never wanted to touch me.

I would post a picture, but I need 15 posts..

I've had some messy relationships here and there, nothing ever worked out, but I've made some ever lasting friends (that I wish were lovers... )

keep looking?

[vashti]

Of course you should keep looking, but I suggest you consider looking for a support group with other people who share similar diagnoses. You may have better luck dating in that sort of venue.

[slowdancer]

I suggest you consider looking for a support group with other people who share similar diagnoses. You may have better luck dating in that sort of venue.

No.

I'm asking, if a guy was decent looking & well personality wize (or however you wanna say it) but physically impaired.. just for an analogy lets say he has severe parkinson's disease, what would go through your head? you'd put him off for another decent looking well personed guy without that right?

people with shit like me don't have any control over it.
so ...I'm having a hard time trying to ask what I'm feeling, but, straight up, what the ****?

[vashti]

How old are you, my friend? And what has your doctor told you about the progression of this disease?

[Klim]

Note: I'm not into guys, but I doubt that part is vital to the question.

I see no problem there. Maybe that's just me. I have asthma, migraine headaches, I might be depressed, and I overthink things. Granted, those aren't physical disablities, but they affect my day-to-day activities. Anyway, I see no problem with any disablity or disorder (I don't like that word, though), but that might just be because of the weird things going on for me riht now.

[vashti]

The original poster's medical condition is a good deal more serious than your issues, Klim.

[Klim]

The original poster's medical condition is a good deal more serious than your issues, Klim.

I know. Still there's an inconsistency going on with me, and that may be the reason why I don't see a disability as a problem.

Anyway, I'd still be attracted to someone even if they were disabled to any degree.

[vashti]

Slowdancer -actually, I think you probably know a great deal about how your condition progresses, and I think you sound smart enough to understand that given the choice between choosing someone healthy and someone with a serious and progressive medical condition, most people would opt for the healthy person. That said, there are exceptions to every rule. Therefore, I do not think you should give up hope, but I DO still think you should find some sort of support group for social interactions and a larger dating pool.

As the mother of a child with a chronic, serious medical condition, I give you this advice with a great deal of compassion. Good luck.

[slowdancer]

How old are you, my friend? And what has your doctor told you about the progression of this disease?

I am 17. Engulfed in the relationship drama of High School as it is.
And as far as progression, I don't know what you're really asking. It's not a disease, it's not contagious. It's a genome thing. My cells don't produce a protein called frataxin.
It progresses slowly, and it stabilizes at age 20. My doctor said I'm in great condition for someone with this (most people give up, and use wheelchairs, as it's very strenuous on the legs)
but she also said at the rate of scientific research, I should have a maximum of 90% treatment in the next 3 years if I stay on my feet. (Which I will)

I guess I just more wanted to vent, but I wanted to see what kind of judgment actually goes on. But you can't really see me so..
Through the looking glass I ideally want a relationship to compensate for most of the anguish and fatigue, someone who sees me for who I am, because if you haven't already gathered I have gone through a lot of judgment. Sigh. But people still want me as a friend, why should I bother?

[vashti]

I know exactly what it is... I'm a nurse, and I really hope you get what you are wishing for. BTW - many 17 year olds are longing for the same thing. I wouldn't want to be 17 again, whether healthy or not.

[MerryH]

I would post a picture, but I need 15 posts..

You can post a link and just add some spaces so the forum will take it.

I'm not going to lie and say that you have just as good a chance at getting women as everyone else. You know that's not the case. But it's honestly not a deal breaker to most girls. It helps immensely if you have a giant personality that overshadows your disability. You're at an age where you're just beginning to cultivate your adult personality, so make sure it's the best, most likable that you can manage. That would be my advice to anyone, but doubly for you. Since you already have a lot of friends, you're probably doing pretty good in the personality department, but it's something to remember. And don't take being friendzoned as a sign that you're unattractive, or whatever. Everyone gets friendzoned at some point in their life.

I can almost guarantee things will get better for you romantically once you're out of high school. There's like some sort of social acceptance lightswitch that turns on when people go to college. You'll have better luck there. More incentive to go to college!

[slowdancer]

You can post a link and just add some spaces so the forum will take it.

I'm not going to lie and say that you have just as good a chance at getting women as everyone else. You know that's not the case. But it's honestly not a deal breaker to most girls. It helps immensely if you have a giant personality that overshadows your disability. You're at an age where you're just beginning to cultivate your adult personality, so make sure it's the best, most likable that you can manage. That would be my advice to anyone, but doubly for you. Since you already have a lot of friends, you're probably doing pretty good in the personality department, but it's something to remember. And don't take being friendzoned as a sign that you're unattractive, or whatever. Everyone gets friendzoned at some point in their life.

I can almost guarantee things will get better for you romantically once you're out of high school. There's like some sort of social acceptance lightswitch that turns on when people go to college. You'll have better luck there. More incentive to go to college!

face book . come / supertouchme

haha.

Well I don't know what to say, that's a very enlightening response, and much thanks to you Merry and vashti

[MerryH]

face book . come / supertouchme

Can't really see anything from that one little photo, but that's okay. Your looks aren't really relevant, unless you want some critiques or something.

Here's a video you should watch: [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_35KKa3b1c]YouTube - Zach's Oprah Audition[/url] This is his audition for some contest Oprah is having where she'll give the winning contestant his or her own show, or something. Watch how he uses humor in a way that puts people at ease with his disability (which is probably more physically obvious than yours, I'm guessing?) His jokes are very crafty in that he's not really putting down himself or his condition, but he puts it out there in a very charming and endearing way and he's hilarious. That guy owns. I would date that guy.

Also watch his Crawlathon video. Yikes!

[integragsr8411]

oiHey buddy, I would say the answer is no it shouldnt matter ans most of the time it doesnt. I know nothing really of your condition, but i have cerebral Palsy and walk with a limp and have an arm that is alot less muscular then the other. I dont ever think about it and when i approach females it shows that i am confident. That is the biggest issue. I have dated some very attractive females and tell u the truth if it does matter low life bitched like that will end up being cheated on or beaten so dont worry bout it.

[Mangochan]

One of the biggest problems I would say you have going for you is your age. Girls in high school can often be mean. Kids are just mean. Don't focus on a girlfriend so much and just enjoy yourself. Continue making friends. Let people know who you are inside and soon they won't even notice your condition. You are not your condition after all. You are you. Eventually, a great girl will see that. Good luck.