broken

[broken man]

i am so unhappy.................. at my age with a dozen failed relationships and two failed marriages behind me you would think i would know how to cope........

[steviej]

It never gets any easier!

You said it yourself though, with her issues, those of her mothers and your own anxiety it would never have worked. It's very easy in the beginning to imagine your partner as perfect as you haven't been together long enough to see the flaws, the habits that annoy you, the arguments etc.
Get this girl out of your life and set your sights on someone older/mature/independent. The age gap was always going to be a huge issue!

[broken man]

it will never stop hurting.............................and i am not sure i can do" Get this girl out of your life and set your sights on someone older/mature/independent. The age gap was always going to be a huge issue! " as she has the biggest impact on me ever and i have been through some awful shit in my time

[MerryH]

I'm not trying to tear you down, but you're behaving like an emo 15 year old who just broke up with his first girlfriend. You're a grown man, act like one. Take the breakup with some dignity and composure. It sucks that it didn't work out, but wallowing in self-pity is going to get you nowhere.

[broken man]

I'm not trying to tear you down, but you're behaving like an emo 15 year old who just broke up with his first girlfriend. You're a grown man, act like one. Take the breakup with some dignity and composure. It sucks that it didn't work out, but wallowing in self-pity is going to get you nowhere.

i am not wallowing...i am hurting bad....no doubt i will recover but at the moment its all so raw ...i am no pussy either but this has knocked me right sideways and off my feet..... i am a bouncer at night since i was 18 and my son is fighting the Taliban in afgahnistan ......i have loved and lost plenty of people to death and life but this is some thing i am desperately trying to deal with and finding it very hard but your post has help me......man up......i will absorb the pain and hurt....and live with it

[MerryH]

Thanks for not being offended.

Sorry you're hurting. Try to stay positive and keep yourself busy.

[broken man]

i was not offended at all, i like straight talking. its perked me up some what

[DarkHelmet82]

dude you need to move on.... why do you want to be with someone who obviously doesnt care enough about you to understand how you feel.

[jb1111983]

Thanks for sharing, man. I don't think I can give you any answer, advice or suggestion to what you are going through. I know it's not easy to just let go something that means or once meant a lot to you. Life however goes on and we need to go with it. I'm deeply in love with a girl who I may never have because it's so bloody complicated. She's muslim I'm not and don't intend to convert. She's the only daughter of her parents and is very attached to them. She wouldn't do anything her parents won't be proud of. And I don't know if they will ever like me for their daughter because of the cultural, religious differences. They probably won't. I'll be meeting them when I go see her in about 3 months. That's gonna be my last attempt to win her. Then game over.
All my friends think I'm strong and can overcome any shit life throws at me. It's true I've been strong. That however doesn't stop me from feeling like my life has no meaning without this Persian girl in it. I go through this every day esp at night when I'm all alone. I sometimes hate myself for feeling so vulnerable. It's like this has become my achilles' heel. But with each day it's getting better. I know if it's meant to be she and I will be together. If not, so be it.

[AirbenderAang]

i am not wallowing...i am hurting bad....no doubt i will recover but at the moment its all so raw ...i am no pussy either but this has knocked me right sideways and off my feet..... i am a bouncer at night since i was 18 and my son is fighting the Taliban in afgahnistan ......i have loved and lost plenty of people to death and life but this is some thing i am desperately trying to deal with and finding it very hard but your post has help me......man up......i will absorb the pain and hurt....and live with it

You are wallowing. Poor me. My relationships failed. My marriages failed. I have losts people I loved to death. Life is so unfair! There was this weak girl who looked up to me, and she rejected me! She made me feel competent, and now I am without that illusion. How am I supposed to go on??? I don't know how to cope. I will NEVER stop hurting. My life is over! Lastly,
"i am nothing but dust and dirt, my bones are burnt charred twigs,my eyes empty and dead,my skin is full of holes from pain,my soul lies dead on the floor beside me."

Oh cry me a river. What would your son think of you if he heard you talking like this? What would you think of your son if you heard him talking like this? Stand up and be a man. Your son has the courage to fight for his ideals. Why can't you have the courage to at least not act like an 15 year old emo brat? Here is how you cope. You stop the pity party and start thinking about other people. If others can conquer worse problems, you can overcome this problem. If others have it worse, well maybe you can provide just a little support for them. For example, your son is fighting in Afghanistan. What can you do to support him now? What can you do to support him when he comes home? One last word of advice, when you think about other people keep the focus on them and not on yourself(even if they are related to you).

[broken man]

You are wallowing. Poor me. My relationships failed. My marriages failed. I have losts people I loved to death. Life is so unfair! There was this weak girl who looked up to me, and she rejected me! She made me feel competent, and now I am without that illusion. How am I supposed to go on??? I don't know how to cope. I will NEVER stop hurting. My life is over! Lastly,
"i am nothing but dust and dirt, my bones are burnt charred twigs,my eyes empty and dead,my skin is full of holes from pain,my soul lies dead on the floor beside me."

Oh cry me a river. What would your son think of you if he heard you talking like this? What would you think of your son if you heard him talking like this? Stand up and be a man. Your son has the courage to fight for his ideals. Why can't you have the courage to at least not act like an 15 year old emo brat? Here is how you cope. You stop the pity party and start thinking about other people.

your post post is pointless........and if you want to tangle toes with a master troll...i assure i will be more than happy to expose and find out everything about you

[broken man]

Well chums i am definatlyfeeling in a better frame of mind....... i have removed every trace of her from my apartment..tooth brush etc so i am not constantly remind about her and its working, i have rearrenged my flat bought a new bed new drapes and this is the one ......i have been out on a few dates....... nothing heavy of course just some lunch on the beach and a dinnerat Nandos with another.....i made myself do this....................... unless you are actually going to kill yourself you have to man up and face a situation, even the most horriable one like this..... fact of the matter is that i wont ever get that girl back and even if i did i would never be able to trust her what she says and she could dump me again and break my heart all over again..........this is my maturity coming out and having faced many losses i know i will be ok and i will meet some one more suitable with out a mummy in the background calling the shots.....some one much nearer my age.......................this does not change the fact that i have been very deeply hurt but in life you just have to wrap up your pain lock it away and carry on living and its helped alot that she is on the otherside of the world on holiday....with mummy and daddy....so i have not seen her for 3 weeks and wont for another week when she comes back to work but i can handle that...polite plesant andprofessional....she rejected me then rejected my friendship but i wont allow myself any more to be a victim.

[steviej]

I think you should also read airbenders post again, it made a lot of sense, basically he was putting your situation into perspective as (and it is very easy to do) you'd blown it way out of proportion!

Glad you're feeling better, good luck with the dating, enjoy it!

[broken man]

I think you should also read airbenders post again, it made a lot of sense, basically he was putting your situation into perspective as (and it is very easy to do) you'd blown it way out of proportion!

Glad you're feeling better, good luck with the dating, enjoy it!

i have ...its a harsh post....and i have said sorry for my private respobse to him....well i am still gutted but ..life goes on