Broke all rules and broken

[Messdupnmisshim]

My ex and I have been broken up for a month. He is 30 and I am 27. We had our ups and downs, we bickered, but I felt like we were getting better at handling problems. He broke up w me for 2 months about a yr ago. We have been together for 2 yr but have known each other for 3.
The first time he broke up w me, he continued to text me everyday except on the weekends. I played it cool. Learned from the mistakes I made in the relationship and was ready to improve myself. Keeping in contact made it hard for me to move on, but slowly I was getting there. He wanted to go out on a date so we did- and ended up back together. I was constantly aware of not repeating my bad habits, and he seemed to be doin the same.
He procrastinates on everything and there was something very importAnt that I needed him to do. It took him about 7 mos. Our fights started again from his procrastination and me thinking he didn't really care about me. He would tell me I don't understand, he's busy w work, and it just isn't a priority to him. I would talk to him About it, but bc nothing was being done I started to obsess and it pushed him away. He couldn't handle the resentment and fights so he broke up w me again.
So like a fool- I broke every rule in the book this time. From text messaging, calling, and then showing up at his house a few times.
Finally- after making myself look disgustingly pathetic- I have stopped. I'm almost certain he is dating someone new, and why shouldn't he be- it's been a month and my behavior has made it easy.
He would text me everyday during this past month. If I didn't say anything to him he would say somethin lame like, "sorry I sent u that text, I couldn't find any paper to write it on." and so on.
Even though I recently made things worse, I seem to be holding up ok. Like a crazy broken heart- last night I sent a string of texts and phone calls. He sent a response this morning saying, "what?!"
And I didn't reply. I've done enough damage and I don't know what that text is really saying anyway. I'm not a bad person. Just a broken heart. Have I lost all chances of being with him again?

[98db]

It doesn't look good, and it looks like both of you have trouble getting over each other. What you probably should be focusing on is understanding what it is you need out of this relationship (which it sounds like you have) and decide if you think he will give it to you.

I went through the same thing and came to the difficult realization that she was not going to make me happy. It hurt breaking things off, even after so many months of fighting and going back and forth, but we actually got to the point where neither of us could bear to fight any more.

[Messdupnmisshim]

Thank you for the reply. I have made a pro con list and I am trying to focus On his shortcomings. I was ready to grow and fix my mistakes, but the relationship didn't just fall apart bc of me.
He is still in contact with me. I still care about him an day dream that we might get a chance to be together. But he needs to make some serious changes about the way he handles life.
I'm torn between ignoring him and contacting him. I reply when he contacts me and I'm getting a lot of crap about it from those that I love. There are concerned it isn't helping me move on- but I feel ok. By staying in contact w him am I just sending the wrong message? I want to send the message- I love u, but u need to grow up and u messed up a good thing here. I've been turning my phone off so I don't get any texts. That way I won't want to reply.

[Gana]

I think you should lay off for a bit, i really do. I understand, its hard and you want to save this relationship but you gotta go slow and let him realise what he is missing. Its never good to attract someone back on sympathy or pleading them, even if they come back to you, someday again they will feel the same as before and leave again. I am going through shit myself right now and its really difficult carrying on like this, i know, but i have been holding myself back from texting or showing any interest to her coz i know the more i do more she will feel good about it, we all do, we humans are like this only. We only want it more when we understand we cant have it anymore. But overcome this feeling and let him go.

ALos, if you really want him back, i think you should go start being as normal or fun as you were. It will work. If he comes back to you, great, if not, then may such is life and it was meant to be like this. May be in few months/years you will move on and be able to see how important was this to make you stronger. You can read my thread here, feel free to post your view, will appreciate it. I think you will be a better judge on my story, its always so.

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/broken-hearts-forum/52455-month-after-we-break-up-my-ex-dating-my-friend-pls-advice.html[/url]

[bubabalo]

What book are you talking about?

[DarkHelmet82]

hes been reported.... i got annoyed by his spam...

[Messdupnmisshim]

The get him back "book"