Honestly... How many times have you broken down with a guy?

[Graham Berkeley]

How many times have you broken down and cried like a river with a guy you were casually seeing? Honestly, Ladies.

[MerryH]

Never?

Do you think this is something that all women do?

[vashti]

Casually? Never. And I would worry about the emotional stability of someone who did.

[Graham Berkeley]

I'm asking in relation to this thread I posted in the guy section:
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/52709-how-many-girls-have-broken-down-you-date.html[/url]

EVERY SINGLE GIRL/WOMAN I have ever dated totally and completely broke down on me sometime during the dating phase. These days they are doing it on the 2nd and 3rd casual dates... Breaking down and telling me their life stories and filling it with WAY to much info WAY to fast...

Over the last 3 years, since my last relationship, I've met and dated a decent share of women both older and younger. I've changed the method up on how I meet women, age ranges, geography differences of 40miles, and its ALWAYS the same. A couple of dates or casual encounters and they turn into these crying, bawling, sniffling, desperate to be held, damaged little 13 year olds...

The older women end up getting clingy afterwards like I am their therapist and the younger women end up trying to play mind games...

I'm at my whits end here. What is attracting these girls??????!!!!

[vashti]

I don't know, but I wish I did. I tend to attract the same sort of males. I thought it was an occupational hazard.

[Mayita]

Well well... To answer your first question, NEVER.

And I guess they do it because you make them feel VERY comfortable because believe me, I would never start crying with a man I've dated only twice! I guess it's good in a way cuz at least they show you the real side of them VERY QUICKLY! Best to know after the 2nd & 3rd date then after months or years!

Good luck with that, you'll find the right one in the end don't worry ;o)

[hello1]

There something about you...these girls see something in you and feel so at ease they don't care cry in front of you.

[Graham Berkeley]

"I feel like I've know you forever!" "You're so amazing!" "I didn't know a man could be like you."

These are typical things I hear from chicks. NOT a good thing...

[IndigoGal]

I only ever did that once. It was the first date I had after my divorce and I had a lot running through my head, so I got a little quiet. The guy I was with started really pushing to know what was going on in my head. I tried to write it off a few times, but he kept pushing, and eventually I did tear up a little and spill some emotions all over him. It wasn't the kind of breaking down you're talking about though, just a few sniffly tears and some choked up voice. No sobbing. In all fairness, he was being awfully pushy. I did go on a second date with him, but cut it off after that. He was awfully pushy and controlling, even only two dates in. I didn't want to know what would happen after that.

Other than that, I've never broken down on a date. Once a relationship is getting serious (a few months in, more emotions coming into play) I have told people my sad stories, and that sometimes involves tears, but once things are getting serious I figure it's time to start letting that guard down and be a little more emotionally vulnerable.

Not sure what it is about the girls you've been seeing. They must either feel very comfortable with you, or be dealing with big issues and not handling it well or getting the support they need, or both. Do you ask them a lot of personal questions that could bring up feelings related to past or current trauma? My only advice if you want to avoid this is to keep things as light, fun, and flirty as possible early on. Be earnest, but don't dig too much. After all you want her to see you as boyfriend material, not as a therapist.

[Graham Berkeley]

I'm honest about who I am and what I'm all about and they usually reciprocate and then they cross a line and get TOO comfortable...

[MerryH]

A couple of dates or casual encounters and they turn into these crying, bawling, sniffling, desperate to be held, damaged little 13 year olds...

Damaged little 13 year olds? A bit harsh, no?

"I feel like I've know you forever!" "You're so amazing!" "I didn't know a man could be like you."

These are typical things I hear from chicks. NOT a good thing...

Why is this "NOT" a good thing? I think most people would take those things as compliments, and a sign that a girl is into you. A good thing.

I'm honest about who I am and what I'm all about and they usually reciprocate and then they cross a line and get TOO comfortable...

Well, hold on now. So it's okay for you to be honest about who you are, but it's not okay for her to be honest about who she is? Maybe in the process of telling you what she's about, she gets a little emotional. So what? Why does it bother you so much? I know it's awkward and uncomfortable listening to another person cry, but, you know, try to show some compassion.

[Graham Berkeley]

MerryH, I'm nothing but compassionate but when they are breaking down telling me their mother was a product of rape and that they aren't over their Ex's who used to hit them and drink and then latch onto me too the point where they are calling, texting and emailing me 15 times a day... Yeah I'm REALLY flattered...

[MerryH]

These:

MerryH, I'm nothing but compassionate but when they are breaking down telling me their mother was a product of rape and that they aren't over their Ex's who used to hit them and drink

and then latch onto me too the point where they are calling, texting and emailing me 15 times a day... Yeah I'm REALLY flattered...

are two different things.

The first one should be fine, they're sharing their experiences, just like you said you do. But then you're drawing an arbitrary line where it's too much information and you don't want to hear it lalalala.

And then there's calling, emailing, or texting you 15 times a day. This is abnormal, and I'm not sure why this seems to happen to you all the time, but it's stalker behavior, and if you're committed to making it stop, you can.