She just told me she wants to move out.

[mrcool]

My fiancee had a bad fight this morning and we have been arguing a lot, but its always about little stuff not about anything the other person acutally does something wrong. Anyway she just turned and said Ill be looking for another place today. I dont know if she actually means it or not or if she was just pissed off.

When we met we just both fell madly in love with each other, and I never felt that way about anyone, we have such similar intrests and views, it was like we were meant for each other. We have been through a lot in our short time together, and we seemed to have just work our way through it. I do really love her very much.

But I am really hurt for the fact that she cant just say well I am leaving even if she's pissed, cause that thought never goes through my head or comes out of my mouth no matter how mad I am. I have a feeling she says that because of her past relationship and she'd say she was leaving to kinda "prove her point" sort of thing, so what the do I do cause I have that feeling like I dont want to lose her cause I love her so much, but we have just drifted far apart at such a rapid pace.

Realistically is it possible to get back to where we were?

[steviej]

Maybe not living in each others pockets is what you need. If your serious about each other her moving out for a while could help things, put those stupid arguments in perspective and you both start appreciating the time you do spend together a lot more rather than just taking each other for granted.
In a long term relationship things can go stale and very routine, something to shake that up and make you start enjoying each others company again rather than just existing could be a good thing!

Make a conscious effort to rise above petty things you used to fight over, have fun and make her laugh! Go on a date again with her, surprise her. The effort will be noticed.

[mrcool]

I hear you stevie. We both have a lot of stresses in our lives right now, but hers seems to manifest and take it out on me,which I am ok with being there for her but all the little things that I do or dont do seem to escalate to these huge things. I texted her to see if she wanted to meet for lunch and talk she didnt answer me, man I am so confused on how to feel right now, my heart is fighting with my brain and its burning me out. I dont know what to expect tonight after work, maybe I am to sensitive but I do love her very much, but i know that if she moves out it will be done, to much hard feelings go along with that and what not.

[jessld]

Go with ur heart but use ur head. Remember love isn't a maybe thing if she is going to marry u she must love u. So just give her time n space and when ur both calm n ready talk about everything

[girl68]

what alarmed me most was "in our short time together"... how short?

Call off the wedding you guys have a lot of work to do. Love does not equal marriage.

[mrcool]

she does love me i know that and I can feel it, I think a big part is she just lets her past control her, always "i am not going throught that again" or " ive been though this before", i am not perfect either but i really dont do anything terrible wrong either. And when she's in a good mood shes really fun and we have a lot of fun. Just seems like those good moods are getting farther apart if you know what i mean.

[mrcool]

what alarmed me most was "in our short time together"... how short?

Call off the wedding you guys have a lot of work to do. Love does not equal marriage.

2 years we've been together, there is nothing "planned" for the wedding yet except for the date, I am more worried about getting us back to where we were then getting married at this point.

[girl68]

stop planning. what's the point of planning if you aren't even in a good place to get married?

she has not let go of what's previously happened in her relationships, maybe she needs help in doing that. suggest she go to counseling, volunteer to go with her or go on your own a few times. this could really help her fight fair and give you ways to help her overcome past issues.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell her you think moving out is best for now and you'll help her pack her things. Tell her you think the space will do both of you some good and help you appreciate each other more. Whatever you do, don't try to talk her out of it since that's what she expects. If she's bluffing like you say she sometimes does and she thinks that you're okay with it, it will make come back and want to work it out. If she's not, then you can see if creating some space will be a good thing, so not a bad strategy either way.

[devonbrown]

I agree that some time not in each others' faces is probably best right now. Both of you have to calm down so you can discuss things openly and honestly. Have you thought about couple's counseling?
I do have to say though, that if she is at the point where she is going to move out, that is not a good sign. Perhaps, in time, things will work themselves out, but if her answer to difficult things is to run, that is a pattern she will continue to repeat and you don't need that.

Good luck.