Need help. I feel I am being played with.

[Toddstar]

Hi, I won’t go in to great detail about my ex as the story is old, but the fact is we have been broken up since Feb 6th. For a month I did everything I could to get her back (emails, cards, letters, flowers, ad nauseam...) and then she told me she was seeing someone. This was over a month ago. Now, we share a son and we keep our pick ups and drop offs quiet, don’t talk to each other, don’t email, don’t text, really simple. It has been helping me move on, albeit too slowly, moving on is hard for me but apparently not her...anyway, 3 weeks ago, after she told me she was seeing a new guy, she emailed me a question. I answered it politely. She then asked me why the business tone, that I could talk to her like a friend. I said no, sorry, that won’t work. She got into a huff. I ignored it. 30 minutes after the last drop off with our son she emailed me asking about my new gf and when she can meet her. I didn’t reply (my son must’ve mentioned the new gf). Then today I got another email saying she has some questions about the car I recently gave her (in lieu of support I give her a car and insurance). I ignored it too. I am not with my recent gf (the one she asked about) anymore as I still have deep feelings for my ex and I am trying, everyday, to get past her and the fact she moved on so quick after our break up. But the ex still emails snotty things (question about new gf) and that email today.

I am too old to play games like this and I cant heal properly when she still contacts me (and she was the one that told me any emails NOT about our son will be deleted!). I feel she is trying to contact me personally for whatever reason, I feel she knows she can mess with my head when she does this and I don’t want it, nor is it helping me get over her.

Any advice? I appreciate it.

[devonbrown]

Yes, here is some advice - stop playing games. You think she is playing games, but so are you. Tell her that you are still trying to deal with getting over her and any conversation not limited to your son makes it harder on you so you would appreciate it if she doesn't do that. However, new relationships could play a role in your son's life, so there may be a need to talk about those things. Sit down with her and make an agreement on what should and shouldn't be discussed. Don't just ignore her.

Good luck.

[Toddstar]

Yes, I agree. I had to think long and hard about it last night but maybe, in the end, i am also playing her game right back at her. She emailed me again this morning asking me a question about her car. I didnt reply but now I think maybe, as an adult, i should.

Life is tough enough, getting over someone you still love is even tougher, adding games to the mix is just silly.

[devonbrown]

Exactly. I wish you luck. It will be hard, but I really think it will be for the best.

Good luck.