I have been cheated on in my past, multiple times. 2 years ago I did get out of a serious relationship (she cheated), and yes, it was very painful but also a part of life. As I mentioned in the original post, I think the problem stems from the fact that our first dating experience ended when she decided to become exclusive with another guy who was 26, and when this ended, she was casually seeing a 40 year old. Then randomly she showed up on my doorstep looking for something casual. This did not last long, as we both developed feelings for one another. (I will add, her last long term relationship, a year ago, ended in her being cheated on. So she has been dealing with that, and has done a fairly good job from my point of view.) I am happy we began seeing each other again, but questions are certainly stemming from this idea that, "before she chose someone else, and this someone else happened to be older... just like everyone else she has ever dated."
As I said, I appreciate your advice. But I feel as if I am very much so facing reality. I would argue most would revert to anger and jealousy, and point their fingers at their girlfriend. I, on the other hand, have admitted that this is an issue I need to deal with, and moreover, it is an issue I want to deal with because I do like and care for this girl. Of course, me being 23 makes me sound very young, I realize this, but I do have a very good grasp on things, particularly this situation. I know what's going on, I am just trying to find a way to not just cope with it, but move past it.
That being said, I think Vince has some credible advice. I think a combination of stress and other externalities have fueled my anxiety over this problem. Keeping positive, and translating potentially bad thoughts into profitable and progressive good thoughts will certainly help, and this I have been doing. I need to find my confidence again, particularly when it comes to 'the bed.' Oddly, I have never had any problems or complaints, my sexual life has always been fantastic, but now this inferior notion has transcended into the bedroom. This is the first girl since my last relationship (of 3 years) who I legitimately connect with, and it is a very mutual connection. I guess I am just indefinitely fearful of over hedging my emotions and care into a girl whom is going to compare me to all of the older guys she has dated. Perhaps I just feel pressure of having to 'live up' to them, even though consistently they have all cheated on her or been low-lives. *Laughing* It truly is ridiculous I have this fear of being compared, I am a good guy, well rounded, and she clearly likes me. Its just frustrating that when things get intimate with her... shit hits the fan inside my head.