Does the date really matter?

[Klim]

That's interesting. Do you have some examples? The question then is whether that particular trait it is reflecting, is actually appealing to her...

I've been on dates with weird, casual settings (I had one at the hole-in-the wall local place I mentioned, one at a coffee shop, etc.), and I really enjoyed them. I think it reflected my date's laid-back, calm peronality.

I also had one at some really fancy place. I think that was boring, especially for a 19 year old (me). I was bored for almost the entire date. That's no environment meant for a first or second date, that's one meant for the "Oh-my-God-I'm-going-to-propose-tonight" kind of things.

So, yeah, I think dates (at least for my age group) are meant for kind of fun was to get to know someone better, and I think a fun or casual environment is best for a date, and especially a first or second one. I can really tell if a person's lighthearted and happy or serious and humorless from their venue of choice.

Also, I know people who've had success with home-cooked meals and a date in their home, so that doesn't seem like a terrible idea to me. Of course, it's up to you.

[Jolicoeur]

I also had one at some really fancy place. I think that was boring, especially for a 19 year old (me). I was bored for almost the entire date. That's no environment meant for a first or second date, that's one meant for the "Oh-my-God-I'm-going-to-propose-tonight" kind of things.

I'm not planning on taking her on a particularly fancy place for a first date (if I ever get a chance to take her anywhere anyway), but I'm a bit concerned that anywhere we go might get boring after a bit. How do I keep things interesting if there is not much animation?

(Question for anyone, by the way).

So, yeah, I think dates (at least for my age group) are meant for kind of fun was to get to know someone better

Fun is great, but I was talking amazement. I have some serious odds to go against, and I need to know if by amazing her with what I pull off is enough. Not to belittle your experience, but anyone with money can take a girl out to a five star restaurant. I don't think girls are impressed with that anymore. But can a feeling of real amazement change into a feeling of attraction for the guy who set it all up?

Also, I know people who've had success with home-cooked meals and a date in their home, so that doesn't seem like a terrible idea to me. Of course, it's up to you.

I'm sure you're right, but inviting her to my place would spark ideas that I plan on getting her in bed as quick as possible. I don't want to take a risk like that.

[Klim]

I'm not planning on taking her on a particularly fancy place for a first date (if I ever get a chance to take her anywhere anyway), but I'm a bit concerned that anywhere we go might get boring after a bit. How do I keep things interesting if there is not much animation?

Hmmm... I'm not too sure about this one. I guess a back-and-forth conversation can go a long way, but I'm low on ideas apart from that.

Fun is great, but I was talking amazement. I have some serious odds to go against, and I need to know if by amazing her with what I pull off is enough. Not to belittle your experience, but anyone with money can take a girl out to a five star restaurant. I don't think girls are impressed with that anymore. But can a feeling of real amazement change into a feeling of attraction for the guy who set it all up?

No, you're absolutely correct. I think just an expensive, fancy place is too easy for a date and kind of a cliche. That 5 star restaraunt stuff is not impressive at all.

However, I think any date you put a lot of effort and time into setting up will really show someone you care. That's definitely a good direction to go, as I believe it can really attract someone.

I'm sure you're right, but inviting her to my place would spark ideas that I plan on getting her in bed as quick as possible. I don't want to take a risk like that.

Yeah, I agree. I guess that would go for more of a "we've been on a few dates now, so how about coming to my place for dinner?" thing. If you tried that on a first date, that'd look... Ill-intentioned, I guess?

[wolfie91]

The amazement, I think, is drawn from the experience overall, not necessarily the setting. If it's too intense or crazy, I think it would be easy to lose the intrapersonal connection (ie: the feeling that I have connected with him).

I would be tempted to try something laid back and open to romantic interpretation. Picnic? Something versatile so that you can play it by ear. If she wants to sit and chat, you could go for it...but if she's not feeling it you could play frisbee or walk or whatever she's more comfortable with.

[Jolicoeur]

However, I think any date you put a lot of effort and time into setting up will really show someone you care. That's definitely a good direction to go, as I believe it can really attract someone.

The amazement, I think, is drawn from the experience overall, not necessarily the setting. (...) I would be tempted to try something laid back and open to romantic interpretation.

Thank you all for your comments. That gives me the hope to continue waiting. If I ever get a chance, I'll put stars in her eyes.