Her ex moved in across from me, what luck

[Cerby]

This is more of a vent than asking for advice. My gf of a few months and I are finally seeing things on the same page, getting it all together and making our relationship work, and more importantly, starting to build towards a solid commitment. For those of you who know my story, we've decided not to sleep together until we're sure about the relationship, she is trying to turn over a new leaf.

I live on my own in a condo, my gf and I spent most of our weekends based out of my place (she has her own as well, but its a small place that she rents and has too many rules). I get home from work yesterday, and what do I see? Her prick of an ex looking at the unit across from me. I ask him what he thinks, and he told me that he made an offer that was accepted, and he it getting ready to move in!

He cheated on her, and dumped her about a year and a half ago, then met a new girl, and cheated on his new gf with the girl I'm dating (long before we started dating). She told me she loved him and although the relationship is long over, I'm concerned that with his tendancy to **** anything that breathes, and her feelings that she did have for him when he dumped her and the months it took her to get over it really concern me.

Its more long term, I am always there when she is, but if we progress through the future and some day down the road I ask her to move in, then she'll literally be 3 steps away from someone who used her for sex and, would again, and she loved for a long time. I asked her what she thinks of him before telling her he was moving in, and she told me she doesn't hate him, but PROBABLY wouldn't ever consider dating him again.

I don't normally have trust issues, but this is hitting too close to home. . .What the ****?

[Gratedwasabi]

She said "probably"???

Well. She's going to sleep with him again. Sorry. She already condones cheating and you know this douchebag is going to go for it. Don't let her come over to your place? Move? Heh.

P.S. - Chances are he found out about the open apartment through her. It's a small world.. but not THAT small.

[Mathias]

It's rare that one word can tell you so much about someone.

Probably means that she's already considered it. She's open to it.

Which means, she's not nearly into you enough to think about a long-term commitment. This isn't the girl you want.

[Cerby]

I don't think she is going to cheat on me with him, but I just hate the thought of him being there in general. He lives with his current gf, but it just means that if I ever ask her to move in, we'll have to move completely. Even though trust is RARELY an issue for me, I don't like the prospect of her being there alone and him knocking on the door.

She herself has never cheated on anyone, but she doesn't care if she is the "other woman" in a cheating relationship.

[sookie6]

do you rent your condo?

[Cerby]

do you rent your condo?

No, I own.

Its a controllable situation for me because she doesn't have keys or anything, and we're only ever there together. Its just the whole situation that pisses me off. The trust isn't really an issue, if she would cheat in this situation, she likely would in any other, I've found that people who are going to cheat, likely will find a way. I have months to see if she is worth making the commitment, I'm just annoyed as hell that somehow this assface found a unit across from me.

[sookie6]

I would ne annoyed too...my cousin has moved just across where I live and although I have no issue with her I feel suffocated

You can't decide now what to do about it. You are naturally annoyed, the news are sinking in. Over time things wil settle down...he'll find a girl...you'll relax...at least your gfriend has not had a child with him so he won't be IN your life per se...

Don't worry about it too much.

[Cerby]

She said "probably"???

Well. She's going to sleep with him again. Sorry. She already condones cheating and you know this douchebag is going to go for it. Don't let her come over to your place? Move? Heh.

P.S. - Chances are he found out about the open apartment through her. It's a small world.. but not THAT small.

I don't think so, I didn't even know it was for sale and I live in the building, I didn't tell her about it. And they haven't talked in over a year to my knowledge, this is a chance occurance as far as I can tell. He was looking for a 3 bedroom condo for under $250k (for him, his girlfriend, and his kid). When I ran the search through the property listing it was the only 1 of 2 in this area that came up in that price range, so I think it was just shit luck.

I'm just venting, I'm not really concerned about any cheating issues or anything right now, it just pisses me right the **** off that I'm finally getting my life together, met a nice girl, bought my own place, got my career together, and now I have to deal with this jerk being my neighbour. I hate feeling insecure about anything, and this one really pulls that string for me.