hello everyone, i just joined today. oddly enough, the first thread i read was the "knight in shining armor" sticky. i need advice, so i'll keep this post short. i'm not used to venting about my relationship problems either, so here goes:
i met this girl online, she was in a relationship with a guy, and has a kid with him. we got to know each other. she was already cheating on him with another guy, so i figured, whats a 3rd guy going to hurt? i wasnt trying to break them up, i don't consider myself a home wrecker. they werent married, she refused to marry him, she was already cheating on him with another guy.
anyway, we weren't careful (i didn't go out of my way to be), he found out, he made her choose, she chose him.
few months later, she found out that he had been talking to a lawyer this whole time trying to put together a case to get custody of their child together. she turned to me for help (financially), since he took all the money out of the bank account, and left her with nothing but bills and debt.
i'm not really sure how to explain our relationship, it was happy and easy going at first (when she was with him, not committed to me). she tells me she loves me, sometimes i feel like its true. now, we're living together, but we have the farthest thing from a relationship.
i dont consider us dating, we already know everything about each other. there are no happy, romantic times, no honeymoon stage. we're not in a relationship, she says that she just got out of a terrible 6 year relationship, and doesnt want to make the same mistake again.
should i wait? should i stay? she is very "gray". she uses a lot of "maybe's" and "i don't know's" i'm more black and white. i like using yes/no.
i dont think i confuse sex with love. i love playing with her son, hanging out with him. but i dont feel like his daddy. he doesnt call me his daddy. he tells me he loves me, he tells her he loves her, he tells his dad he loves him.
but for now, we're in relationship limbo. she knows i want to be in a relationship with her. she's a naturally great girl. kind, sweet, emotionally intelligent, she has common sense. we have many many many things in common. we're on the same level intellectually and physically. just not emotionally right now.
what do i do? should i wait, in hopes of one day having a "real chance" at a relationship together?
should i just give up, and cut my losses now?
my life is very frustrating right now. i'm not happy, this isn't what i want. i want her to want me. does that make sense? i'm sure she feels like she has to depend on me financially. i dont feel used, because i'm willing to help her (hence the knight in shining armor syndrome).
but i'd still like her to know she has a choice of being with me or not, and i want her to choose me.
i know i have a choice to be with her or not, but i'm choosing to be with her.
sigh