Betrayed

[VincenzoG91]

Btw, one trick I used was that I a) blocked all connections throught net and b) changed her (plus couple of other non-pleasant person's) name in my phone to "don't answer/don't call". After some time you forget which number is which and you can't call even if you would want to. Plus you can delete all the messages straight without reading them when you see the "don't answer/don't call". I know it sounds harsh, but it's not. It's about helping youself, letting your heart to heal and if that person truly cares about you, he/she will understand. Slow and steady, Captain. Yarr!

Awesome advice.

[Purrzzzzzz]

he broke my heart again.. on one of his pics on one site there were some beautiful comments to each other from the beginning of our relationship.. they are gone..

[DarkHelmet82]

yeah my ex did that too on sone stuff... dont overanalyze it

[Hulibuli]

Yeah I know... It's just that I started feeling a whole lot better in the last couple days. Like I even thought I didn't love her anymore. I didn't think I cared. Untill I saw she called. I knew that it wouldn't lead anywhere, I knew she didn't call to say something like ''oh I'm sorry I made a mistake''. I knew it. But I still called, always with the hope to hear it... like I just can't give up. As I hung up, I felt everything I've felt in the last weeks all over again. I'm so exhausted... going through the same phases over and over just because I can't let her go. It's not my choice, I have to... Forcing yourself to stop loving feels so unnatural... almost sickening... I can't stand it anymore.

I know what you're going through. First I tried too hard to just forget, it's no use and it just sucked all the energy I had from me. Being bipolar(?) doesn't help in that at all because with that going into depression means going really, REALLY down. But yeh, I was in your situation couple of weeks back, and it felt like neverending limbo. You can't forget, but you can try to focus into something different. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't deal with your feelings, but there's easier and more difficult ways to do it.

I personally just ignored my emotions, and dealt with the cold facts. After that, my wounds started to heal and in couple of weeks there remained only scars with occational pus.

Before I could do that I had to realize what part of me was really hurt. Oh no, I didn't feel sad because of some divine, universal law of love had been broken, it was my ego that was assaulted. You know, that little voice that whispers in your mind "me me me, mine, myself, ME!"? It's that part that wants to be loved, wants to get attention, wants to be valued by someone. Oh boy was it hurt when it lost those feelings it had got used to. Of course, every person is unique and my ego is especially jealous. It doesn't want to share one's love and attention being directed towards it with somebody else. So, what I actually felt wasn't sorrow losing someone, it was losing someone to somebody else. Getting replaced, that I couldn't stand.
After that, I metaphorically kicked those thoughts into some far corner of my mind and started to sort out my thougts to those which were actually real and to those which were just assumptions based on my feelings. Emotions aren't useless, but I think human can control them, or at leas aknowledge which emotions modern human actually needs. I don't need to suffer because of a person who doesn't give a flying **** about me. Exactly what you achieve by hurting yourself while that person who had nice times with you before is living happily his/her life on? Nothing, as long as you can't actually curse person with the power of your mind. My "love of a lifetime" moved on, and so did I. It was happy when it last, but people change with the time and nobody knows what we will become. I've focused on myself, doing things I like and getting to know myself, and now I'm actually getting along with myself. My relationship improved me by giving good memories and experiences among with those bad ones. Things after that are things I don't need to or want to care about, our ways separated and she's living her life and me mine. You are no lesser person after your partner leaves you! You just need to learn to love yourself again. Enjoy small things, try not to think too big picture and don't overanalyze.

My father once told me two rules that leads to happines: don't take anything personally and don't make assumptions. Pretty damn good advice, at least it helped me to heal and get back on my feet.

[DarkHelmet82]

hullibulu your father is a smart man.. dont make assumptions and dont take anything personally are just two of the four agreements.. the other two are be impeccible with your word and always do your best.

[Hulibuli]

hullibulu your father is a smart man.. dont make assumptions and dont take anything personally are just two of the four agreements.. the other two are be impeccible with your word and always do your best.

Oh, thats right! Dad just used those two (maybe he didn't see the last two help with breakup?), but aren't those from some book?

[DarkHelmet82]

yes they are.. i got in trouble for putting this in one post but the book is called "The four agreements." I highly recommend.

[lael19]

Forcing yourself to stop loving feels so unnatural... almost sickening... I can't stand it anymore.

god, i know how you feel.
and everyone keeps saying it's for the best,but they aren't the ones that are having their insides ripped out.

[DarkHelmet82]

god, i know how you feel.
and everyone keeps saying it's for the best,but they aren't the ones that are having their insides ripped out.

amen to that... i know EXACTLY what you mean

[that one guy]

god, i know how you feel.
and everyone keeps saying it's for the best,but they aren't the ones that are having their insides ripped out.

Exactly what I'm feeling. I'm expected to act as if nothing happened and continue living all dandy yet my heart is f*cking destroyed.

[EmptyInside]

Just wondering, what was the game in which you two met ?

[MartinSL]

I know what you're going through. First I tried too hard to just forget, it's no use and it just sucked all the energy I had from me. Being bipolar(?) doesn't help in that at all because with that going into depression means going really, REALLY down. But yeh, I was in your situation couple of weeks back, and it felt like neverending limbo. You can't forget, but you can try to focus into something different. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't deal with your feelings, but there's easier and more difficult ways to do it.

I personally just ignored my emotions, and dealt with the cold facts. After that, my wounds started to heal and in couple of weeks there remained only scars with occational pus.

Before I could do that I had to realize what part of me was really hurt. Oh no, I didn't feel sad because of some divine, universal law of love had been broken, it was my ego that was assaulted. You know, that little voice that whispers in your mind "me me me, mine, myself, ME!"? It's that part that wants to be loved, wants to get attention, wants to be valued by someone. Oh boy was it hurt when it lost those feelings it had got used to. Of course, every person is unique and my ego is especially jealous. It doesn't want to share one's love and attention being directed towards it with somebody else. So, what I actually felt wasn't sorrow losing someone, it was losing someone to somebody else. Getting replaced, that I couldn't stand.
After that, I metaphorically kicked those thoughts into some far corner of my mind and started to sort out my thougts to those which were actually real and to those which were just assumptions based on my feelings. Emotions aren't useless, but I think human can control them, or at leas aknowledge which emotions modern human actually needs. I don't need to suffer because of a person who doesn't give a flying **** about me. Exactly what you achieve by hurting yourself while that person who had nice times with you before is living happily his/her life on? Nothing, as long as you can't actually curse person with the power of your mind. My "love of a lifetime" moved on, and so did I. It was happy when it last, but people change with the time and nobody knows what we will become. I've focused on myself, doing things I like and getting to know myself, and now I'm actually getting along with myself. My relationship improved me by giving good memories and experiences among with those bad ones. Things after that are things I don't need to or want to care about, our ways separated and she's living her life and me mine. You are no lesser person after your partner leaves you! You just need to learn to love yourself again. Enjoy small things, try not to think too big picture and don't overanalyze.

My father once told me two rules that leads to happines: don't take anything personally and don't make assumptions. Pretty damn good advice, at least it helped me to heal and get back on my feet.

That post helped so much. Thank you

Just wondering, what was the game in which you two met ?

WoW aka World of Warcraft