I'll try and keep this short.
I am a musician with a working band in London. The female singer is great and we always get on. She is VERY attractive but for some reason, I'm almost completely bypassing my male emotions for sex.
I just want to hold her and touch her, protect her and comfort her. I have no real desire to engage in sexual relation but just being friends isn't enough either.
I'm 20 but never had a girlfriend. I've never had a problem with not having a girlfriend - I'd pretty much discarded the idea of me ever being with anyone and was quite prepared to live my life alone.
Although (for want of a much better phrase) I "wouldn't say no", the first thing that comes to mind when I think of her is not sex. In fact, it's a desire pretty low down the list. It's just not a thought that enters my mind about her. I just want to be around her and be there for her.
This feeling has grown stronger over time. At first it was almost non-existent. I fancied her at first (the whole band did) but that went away quite soon and we all got on with things.
Recently, she moved close to me and these feelings just got stronger. Now she's all I think about.
Never having been in love before, I wouldn't know how it feels. I enjoy being around her and relish even a slight touch (although there are the odd things that get annoying!). Her family are great too. Is this love? Because it's horrible.
We've known each other for about 3 and a half years. This feeling started about 6 months ago and got stronger since she moved nearby about a month ago. I've always thought the world of her but like I say, the 'fancying' stage was over quite quick. This emotion is new to me...
I'm not her type. She likes a bad boy and I'm boring and old fashioned in most ways. I'm unattractive and quite frankly, I'm a bit of a pain in the ****. On top of that, she could have anyone she wants. She gets alot of male attention but she rarely does anything with it. As far as I know, she had one serious boyfriend and it only lasted a few months. She is single at present.
And so, my question:
If it is love, what do I do? What if it isn't?
I could never say anything to her along these lines - it could destroy our friendship and make circuit work quite difficult together.
We don't know every little thing about each other either - we're not especially close friends but we are good friends. We don't tell each other everything.
Thanks in advance,
Jam