How should I ask her to be friends?

[shenmue]

thank you- you're right. Friday I'll offer her a ride.

[shenmue]

I'm wondering which is better:

"you know I'd really like it if we could be friends."

or

"I'd really like to get to know you better".

what do you think? I think the second is more clear and therefore better.

[shenmue]

well tonight I said I was sorry if I was being a jerk, I was just joking around, got that same embarassed blushy smile without the blushing again.

I know she's testing on sat so she isn't availible sat......

I''ve got to end this little game. I must tell her, let her know that I feel this way. I going to wait for her and tell her I'd like to get to know her better. The question is is this too soon. She must already suspect something of how I feel.

I am wondering how to phrase this. I was thinking of this:

" I'd really like to get to you better, and I was wondering how you feel."

I could make plans with her after she tests for her belt on saturday....

any last advice before I make the move? Jane? Illusional?

[FratBoy177]

The fact that you are getting this worked up about asking a girl to be your friend is a little confusing to me. You obviously have something in mind for this girl besides just being friends. If you are really interested in her, don't start with the whole friend thing. Considering how exciteable you already are, that will just make things ten times more confusing and difficult when you decide you want to be more than friends. Also, you shouldn't spend this much time planning things to say ahead of time. For me, the best lines usually come out of my mouth when I don't think about them. Just say what you feel, it'll come out one way or another. Do you have a history of relating poorly to others? If not, you shouldn't worry so much about the exact wording of what you say to her. If you do, it will sound too forced and might weird her out. However you say it, it will still hold the same meaning. All of those "variations" mean the same thing so it doesnt matter which one you choose.

[FratBoy177]

P.S. "I'd really like to get to know you better" is a lame and overused line and girls hate hearing it. That will just confuse her and she'll have no idea what you mean by it. Every time you guys hang out or talk on the phone you are getting to know each other better, so verbalizing it will get you nowhere. If you want to get a reaction out of her, get to the point. Something like "That was so cute, are you like this all the time? If you are we gotta hang out more often" is a little more smooth and is a compliment, which will probly mean more to her.

[shenmue]

you're right. I'll just ask her out. She's a tough one to figure out. When I flirt with her she gets that smile- looks like a good one to me - but doesn't say anything.
the whole frinds thing was just like a platform to go from, but I've abandoned that. Judging by the smile I get from her she must know how I feel, so I'm going for the ask out.
The reason I plan so much is that in my experience planning gives you a better chance to succeed. I want to say the right thing and be prepared.

that was a lame line, and I thank you for pointing it out.

[jane]

it's been awhile sorry... How's it going ? Did you ask her? keep me posted! Good Luck!

[shenmue]

yeah I asked her. She just looked away shook her head and said no. But this whole time I had really tried to be nice to her. And she would joke around with and be nice to just about every body else BUT me. I was just so blind and wanted her so much that I could she how crappy she was to me.

I don't understand how you can be so cruel to someone like that. Someone who obviously likes you.

But now that I look back on it, she was always strange. Wears a leather collar and weird zipper arm things and almost all black.

I tend to fall for a girl right away before I get to know her. I don't know why.

but you tried to help and I want to say thanks.

[jane]

wow, girls can really be cruel. The thing is don't get so attached before you get a chance to really get to know them. Most of the time, if a girl is ugly on the outside, like if she is mean to people, she is ugly inside too. I'm sorry it didn't turn out better.

[shenmue]

That's what I'm having trouble with.. I really don't have a lot of control of myself I just fall so hard.

[shenmue]

I really don't see much good in her if any to me. I mean someone is repeatedly making attempts to talk to you and is friendly and you treat them like that? BUt you're nice to just about everyone else? That's sick. And now that I look back you take her attitude the way she dresses and one really eerie thing she said and she's really a freak. If I can ever hurt her back emotionally I will.

[jane]

why bother? Let it go. She's not worth the trouble ya know? I mean if you think about it, you found out early what kind of person she is ...If anything, thank her.!

[shenmue]

Thanks for all your help Jane.

[jane]

No problem...