how to uncrush a crush

[Davros]

I really don't know where to start with this but I'll do my best..

I've known this guy for a few years now (we shall be all cliche and call him Tom). I swear from the moment I met him there was just SOMETHING about him that got to me. I felt like I was back in school. I sound such a moron saying this but even when we look at each other we always just end up smiling and looking away real embarrassed. I know he has a crush on me too but the problem is we just never get the timing right.
When i first met him he had a girlfriend and when he finally became single I'd got a boyfriend.. I stayed with that boy from then on but I cant stop thinking about Tom.
I know its wrong, I know I shouldnt be thinking about him. I know that my boyfriend loves me alot. I feel guilty but in a way I sort of like the excitement I get from seeing him or the prospect of seeing him..
He has a girlfriend at the moment that I'm sure he's happy with.. probably more so than me and my boyfriend.. I know I have to somehow stop thinking about him. I dream about him and everything its ridiculous.
Don't get me wrong I dont bombard him with texts or emails or anything, we don't meet on the downlow. We are just friends and when we see eachother its in a group environment.

What I'm basically saying is.. I really don't know what to do. Some days I find myself thinking about leaving my boyfriend just for the opportunity to have sex with Tom. Throw everything away just for that. I'm in my early twenties and I dont have any major ties. I shouldnt be thinking like this i just feel so guilty - but this is three years of pent up sexual frustration for this GUY ! its crazy !
I feel like sometimes I am going off my own boyfriend and falling out of love with him just at the prospect of Tom. Just because I'm frustrated at the thought maybe I will never get the chance.

[Pilotdxb]

You have to take your mind off this guy, try finding a way to rekindle your relationship (sexually if possible).

[devonbrown]

You have to focus on your boyfriend and let Tom concentrate on his girlfriend. If your relationship fails or succeeds, it has to be because of the two of you, not some outside person. If you do break up with your bf for Tom, you will probably be back here in a few months saying you are thinking about your ex and wondering if you should have broken up with him.

As of now, and for the past three years, you and Tom are simply ships passing in the night. It sorta sucks, but you have to understand that you have to have more than just a crush to be with someone. You also have to have opportunity and availability. You two haven't had that. Hold off on anything until you do.

Good luck.

[dont_1]

Remember when you were a child and you wanted that toy sooooo bad and your parents told you you couldnt have it. You cried right?. Well when your an adult its not toys you want anymore its people. Its in our nature to want what we cant have. And when we get it. It turns out to be not that great after all. Its difficult to ignore our emotions and use our rational brain but in the end its worth it. The grass isnt always greener on the other side.