Issues with my boyfriend, please help?

[Isabella-Rose]

Hey everyone. I am very new to this so sorry if I posted this long story in the wrong place. I work & study part time. I am 17 & pregnant. In a few days I am moving out to a little place i bought to stay by myself, as my family is not supportive of the pregnancy and want me gone. The baby's father is involved with drug dealing - he gets drugs into the country & sells them but he does not use. I wanted to end the relationship as soon as I found out but I love him & I want my baby to have both parents there for him. I have tried talking to him, begging him to stop but he won't. He said he needs to keep doing it so he can save up enough money for the baby. But I think that he is doing this for himself. He wants money so he can waste it on his car, at parties etc. I haven't seen him for almost 4 weeks as he has been busy with this business, he does not call me or anything. If I ring him, he never picks up & when I txt him, he txts back hours later saying he's going sleep now or he his at his friends house & they are having a few drinks or they are going out i'll txt you tomorrow but he never does. I feel so alone & upset that he isn't involved at all with the pregnancy. He can go out with his friends anytime he wants but he won't come & see me until he has finished with this business he is in. I really feel that I cannot wait around for him, I need to start making decisions that are going give myself & baby a better future. I do not think he will stop once baby is here & I definitely do not want my baby around this kind of thing. I told him I would leave many times but he probably thinks that I will always come back because I have no one else to be there for me now. Do I leave him or talk to him again? If he doesn't stop before the baby is born should I cut contact with him & me & baby carry on without him? Should I even allow him to see his child? I don't mean to be so selfish towards him, it's just I do not want my child anywhere near him if he's involved with this kind of stuff. Thanks

[tremolo]

He's likely not going to stop once the baby comes. Spare yourself the headache and cut your ties now. If possible, move away from the guy and don't tell him where you're going. Drug dealers are generally bad news. You don't need that shit around your child.

[tremolo]

If I ring him, he never picks up & when I txt him, he txts back hours later saying he's going sleep now or he his at his friends house & they are having a few drinks or they are going out i'll txt you tomorrow but he never does.

This alone should tell you the guy doesn't give a rip. If he doesn't care about you now, he's not going to once you have a baby on your hands, and all the extra responsibilities that come with it.

[Divided]

Couldn't agree more. You want to stay away from the guy like that. He clearly doesn't care enough about you or the baby that you are about to have, and he can be potentially dangerous. I know that it will be probably tough for you to raise that baby alone with no family support, but where there is a will there is a way. You can find groups of other single mothers to help you deal with it, so that you don't rely on him. Just try to concentrate on the baby and dont think about him.

[Wakeup]

A drug dealing father and a 17 year old mother. If you believe in abortion, you should take that option. This man does not have any emotional ties to you and he doesn't value you in the least. You're too young to be tied to him by offspring. You're too young and finanacially ill equipped to raise a child on your own.

Get away from him and don't bring a baby into such unfortunate beginings.

Get educated, concentrate on yourself and being able to finanacially support yourself. Then, when you're a self sufficient and mature young woman, find a man who actually cares about you and have a family with him.

[tremolo]

Adoption would be another alternative, unless you really want to keep this baby.

[Isabella-Rose]

Thanks guys for the honest opinions. Um I really want to keep him but I don't want him to suffer with me when he's here so I am still considering adoption.If I do chose adoption though, the father or his family can't stop me right?

[tremolo]

Given that he's a drug dealer, I wouldn't think so.

[tremolo]

I think adoption is a great decision, btw. I know it will be hard to part with your baby, but I think it's best considering the situation you're in.

[MaidenMinx]

No, no one can stop you from adopting your baby. You can keep your details 'visible' to the child so that if they have questions in the future (and they will) they can find you.

My honest advice, get rid of the loser. That's a scary lifestyle to bring a child into. Where there's drug dealers there's weapons. Make a plan to adopt out your baby (it's not going to be easy, but without proper support you aren't going to be able to give your baby the life s/he deserves) and tell your family your new plan. If they are not supportive of you having a baby with your bf there is a good chance they'll be supportive of you getting rid of the douchebag and being responsible when it comes to the baby. You will need support whatever you do and you aren't getting any this way.