28 yrs old, 14 years with him last 3yrs apart now what???

[nbelliard]

Ok Guys this can get messy so please bare with me. My junior high sweet heart and I have a 4yr boy and 9yr girl. We were together for 14yrs the last five yrs when we had our first child we lived together, We always had a rocky relationship we were kids growing up together in a very adult relationship. Things got hard at the end and we separated that was messy on both ends we did wrong by each other. He knows and has said many times he pushed me to leaving him and he did not know what he had until he was losing us. Over the past three years we have both been with other people. Him between two gurls we can call them "E" and "J" and myself with one guy we can call him "C". Yet we have also tryed off and on to reconnect but all the while still seeing other people which in the end just caused a lot of fights not between us but between him n the other guy "C" I was with up until most recently.
Over the last 3 yrs I have tryed to push forward focus on my goals and maintain this relationship with the "C" but he is always accusing me of still loving my Ex and his insecurities have pushed me away along with the fact that my my JHS has always been on my mind. I guess I grew to love two people. Myself and JHS have been thru very bad times as well. We almost ended up in court becouse him and "C" could not get along and was sent to jail ova a dispute.

JHS has been with "E" for about the 3yrs too, He also started dating "J" while with "E" and eventually left 'E" to leave with "j" that lasted for about 6 months. While this was going on he would talk to me about his situation and I would give advice. Until Him and "C" got into the dispute. I always said it would not last he was going to go back to "E" Life was easy with her. So 6 months later he moved back to "E".
Two months after that "J" says she is Pregnant, JHS Does not want to be apart of her or the baby's life he feels she lyed to him about being on birth countrol. Hse is trying to get him back from "E" she was always scared he would go back to her.

So now JHS starts helping with my kids much more where during the winter h only takes them during the weekend Now in summer his work is seasonal so he is with the kids all week after school. This has us talking more as friends yet again, Has brought us to spending time together and now we talking aout getting back together.

So here is why I need advice. My heart is pulling me towards my past, Which really has never been my past.
I know our love is real we just let time and people get in our way. We where kids and we had a lot of growing up too do.
I know we could push thru this!! I just do not know how to...

P.S "J" is now friends with JHS mother who is mad at him for not supporting "J" and not going back to her when he found out she was Prego. Also although her and I have an ok relationship she does not support us getting back she says we lost respect and can not get that back.
THANK YOU FOR READING SUCH A LONG STORY !! ANY ADVICE WOULD BE A BIG HELP!!

[ConniptionFit]

Your entire situation =

Forget being with guys. Concentrate on your kids and getting into some serious therapy.

[nbelliard]

Well I can see how u may view it that way, but just a lil info that might help.
My kids r both healthy, My daughter is in top class of her catholic school. She loves
School and studying her religion. My son is also in private pre-k doing well in class
And at home. I myself work in marketing sales for united healthcare and just got a
promotion. I have went back to school to follow my dream of becoming a lawyer!
I am enjoying life and besides the issues with my heart everything else In my life
is really good. Although it may seem hard n even bad u must understand how hard
it is to ignore ones heart. That is why I am asking for advace. Thank you for Ur time!!

[devonbrown]

First of all, stay away , and keep your kids away, from any confrontations between JHS and C. JHS needs to make a decision on who he wants to be with and grow up. He is still acting immature. His issues with his girlfriends shouldn't be your problems unless they effect you or your kids. Stop giving him advice on these things because it just drags you into the issues.

The only thing you need to worry about is your kids and yourself. If JHS wants to be a good father, then that is great. And have him in your life as a father and only that. For at least a while. You two have such a history that if you let him into your life as anything more than that, you will be struggling with these feelings for him again instead of concentrating on yourself and your kids.

Basically, I would suggest starting over with your dating life. Get rid of C and keep JHS at arm's length. Find other people for your potential dating partners.

Good luck.

[surfhb]

I have Rule and thats never get back with EXs. Your story isn't that crazy and you dont sound like you need therepy. ....well I guess everbody could at some point

I agree....work on you first. You seem like a person whoS addicted to relationships... Get over that and possibly find another passion for yourself. Your kids are older now

[VincenzoG91]

This is like one of those math story problems with all the details and one-letter variables.

I think that you should have as little contact as possible with JHS. He already has too much drama with two women plus his meddling mother. If you're getting child support from him or he has partial custody, do what ever is legally required. Otherwise forget about him.

If you can't fully commit to your relationship with C, I think that you should cut ties with him as well. Simplify your life and take care of your kid until you have your head together. You may think that you love two guys, but you just love the drama and the attention and yourself. So take some time out from dating and try to grow up some.

[ConniptionFit]

I have Rule and thats never get back with EXs. Your story isn't that crazy and you dont sound like you need therepy. ....well I guess everbody could at some point

I agree....work on you first. You seem like a person whoS addicted to relationships... Get over that and possibly find another passion for yourself. Your kids are older now

Are you kidding? The story's not crazy only if you live your life by the standards of a Jerry Springer show.

Anyone who thinks the OP's story is normal is in serious need of therapy themselves.

[ConniptionFit]

Well I can see how u may view it that way, but just a lil info that might help.
My kids r both healthy, My daughter is in top class of her catholic school. She loves
School and studying her religion. My son is also in private pre-k doing well in class
And at home. I myself work in marketing sales for united healthcare and just got a
promotion. I have went back to school to follow my dream of becoming a lawyer!
I am enjoying life and besides the issues with my heart everything else In my life
is really good. Although it may seem hard n even bad u must understand how hard
it is to ignore ones heart. That is why I am asking for advace. Thank you for Ur time!!

That's great that your kids are doing well so far. Do them a favor. Dump the guys. Work on law school (that's going to take a huge chunk of time anyway). And most importantly seek therapy.

Continue on the chaotic road you are on so far and you will be teaching your kids that this is normal behavior. While they might do OK in school for a while, just watch how messed up they get as they get older.

BTW, if you are going to become an attorney, you'll need to learn how not to say "have went".

[Wakeup]

I thanked everyone in this thread so far for their helpful posts. Guess I agree with all of you.. I particularily liked the train animation. Kinda summed it up nicely.

OP: Clean slate. Wipe everyone off and start a new.

[brown06]

holy god this is why rednecks should be sterilized

[surfhb]

Are you kidding? The story's not crazy only if you live your life by the standards of a Jerry Springer show.

Anyone who thinks the OP's story is normal is in serious need of therapy themselves.

Compared to all the other stories on this site? Naaaa.....

This girl sounds like she has her shit together .... 80 % of people On this forum wouldn't make it in to law school too. Just don't go back to the ex!