Friends ex's. What are the acceptable exceptions?

[MaidenMinx]

I've noticed that the common opinion is that one should never touch another mates ex. I'm just wondering what the exceptions to this rule are?

It appears that if the friend is more of an acquaintance that is ok, but what if the break up between your friend and the ex had occurred before you met the friend? Or is it more dependant on the level of friendship and the level of hang up on the girl?

[Wakeup]

Seems if he dumped her it's okay to date her but, if she dumped him all friends must stay away. I think it depends on the level of how over her he is. (just going by what my kids ~ friends say)

[Ugly_Idiot]

I think it all depends whether the friend is ok with it. If he/shes ok with it then i dont see a problem.

My mate got with one of my ex's, but that was a few years after the rship. And i didnt give a f**k ! And the thing is, he still asked me first if it was ok. Which is what i think mates should do.

[DannyH]

Depends on the level of friendship and the how the breakup was. One of my friends is dating one of my exe's and I'm cool with it because we broke up on mutual terms. We both knew we were not good for each other. Both of them did go out of their way to ask me if it was ok which I thought was nice of them but did make me chuckle a bit. They have been together for about 8 or so years now. I also seen a friend hookup with an exe of another friend who broke up on bad terms with the women. That relationship ended the exact same way as the first did. badly. I did date a friend's ex who I didn't know was his ex since when they broke up I wasn't even in the same state yet. I brought her to meet my friends and that whole situation put a huge strain on everybody which led us to breaking up. She broke up with my friend on bad terms but we broke up on mutual terms because it really didn't feel right to keep the relationship going at that point.

[steviej]

Every situation has to be judged on its own merits really. Sometimes it's fine, other times it'd as bad as having sex with your friends mother!

[Ugly_Idiot]

other times it'd as bad as having sex with your friends mother!

Now thats a goal in my life!

[DannyH]

other times it'd as bad as having sex with your friends mother!

Don't knock it til you try it lol..

[MaidenMinx]

Interesting.

My husband and I met through my ex. My ex and I had been broken up for a year, but we still lived together. My ex was a nutter, I mean rather insane. Before I got together with my husband, I was seeing a mutual friend of my ex and I whom we had met when we were together. My ex was extremely unimpressed and called me all sorts of names. That fling didn't last long. Months after that my ex was planning a trip to visit his parents. Before he left he told me not to get with my now husband. Within a few days of him leaving my now husband and I were spending a lot of time together. It wasn't long before we were an item. My ex blew his top and refused to speak to my man ever again. My ex and I remained 'friends' for a little while after until I discovered that he was using me knowing that he could guilt me into doing things for him.

Before anyone tells me that this was an unacceptable form of chasing a mates ex, I realise this now. In my husbands defence, he didn't consider my ex as close a mate as my ex considered him and my husband actually found my ex to be an embarrassing friend at times (he truly was off the planet). We have both over the years mourned the loss of a friend, though I don't know if either of us would still be friends with my ex now even if we hadn't killed the friendship.

So a question for the guys that think you should ask first before chasing a mates ex, do you kill your interest in the chick if the mate says no? Or do you try to convince him it's not that bad an idea?

[DannyH]

Nope. I keep it on the dl until he gets over her a bit more. My close friends though I would never chase one of their exe's.

[HeartIsAching]

I've noticed that the common opinion is that one should never touch another mates ex. I'm just wondering what the exceptions to this rule are?

It appears that if the friend is more of an acquaintance that is ok, but what if the break up between your friend and the ex had occurred before you met the friend? Or is it more dependant on the level of friendship and the level of hang up on the girl?

It depends entirely on the possessiveness and security of the friend.

If he/she is insecure and feels controlling, they'll be angry. If they're an adult, they won't. It's never been an issue for me either way - I have very different tastes in women from my friends, I'm intolerant of controlling behavior, and most of their exes I've always been aware of their flaws. I did have a friend once ask me if I minded if he asked one of my exes out... I sort of did a double-take and said "why the hell would I care?"

He later called me and told me she was crazy. I had to agree.