When Did Cheating Become So Acceptable?

[skyhighshoul]

When did cheating on your partner, emotionally, pyshically, mentally, through technology, become so damn acceptable and accessable?

I sit and wonder if I missed the memo that informed everyone that it seems almost like the natural thing to do these days?!
Did I miss it? Was I this blind to it all? Or is it some new trend that has taken over?

Why is it that the best friend who lives with their partner, feels that its okay to make a move after a drink or two? Send a naughty picture here and there and then sleep with another whilst still with their partner, never own up and change their attitude so the other will break things up?

How is that a partner in a long distance relationship can tell you that they forget their phone all the time, that you mean so much to them, that they couldnt live without you, but can seldom be contacted? How is that when you visit, their phone is constantly with them, ringing constantly only to have them silence it and lie to you about who it is?

What is it that makes a friend think its okay to talk dirty to you, tell you all the things they dream about doing to you, only to find out they have a live-in partner? What is it that makes them think its okay to continue after you tell them just how disgusted you are that they would do such a thing and betray someone elses trust.

And who the hell, made is possible to never recognise someone yet all of a sudden have them put their arms around you, kiss you on the cheek and laugh, joke, talk, smile and think together as if you'd known them for years. As if their was embrace was that of one you loved after years of being together, so innocent yet meaningful, so unbelievable yet real, so new yet so comfortable, so forward yet so subtle. Who was it that made the choice to just snuggle during the night with a kiss here and there that felt like a couples kiss after years of getting to know what you both liked and how to make it work together?
And who's heart have I contributed to trampling on, when the next morning they tell me they have a partner back home?

Have I cheated? No.
Have I been cheated on? Yes
And have I, unknowningly been a girl that he has cheated with? It would seem so.

When did cheating become so normal?

[VincenzoG91]

You need to make some new friends.

[vashti]

I believe it's always been "normal", if by normal you mean prevalent. You are just now noticing.

[Krissykris]

Same thing that makes marriage a joke.

[IndiReloaded]

Only if you naively expect that marriage = monogamy.

[Krissykris]

no I mean that marriage is a joke, no one takes it seriously anymore

[MissAnn]

Only if you naively expect that marriage = monogamy.

Is this naive? I am not married, but if I ever choose to marry I would have this expectation for my partner, and I would certainly be monogamous as well. I know people that are in open relationships, and feel like monogamy is an outdated, unrealistic social construct. They seem very happy, but this wouldn't work for me.

[Gigabitch]

no I mean that marriage is a joke, no one takes it seriously anymore

I take my marriage seriously. I've never cheated on anyone and I expect the same courtesy. If any friend of mine made a pass at my husband after a couple of drinks, I'd kick her ass.

[IndiReloaded]

Is this naive? I am not married, but if I ever choose to marry I would have this expectation for my partner, and I would certainly be monogamous as well. I know people that are in open relationships, and feel like monogamy is an outdated, unrealistic social construct. They seem very happy, but this wouldn't work for me.

Its naive to think that cheating doesn't happen. Giga understands my point, and that its not inconsistent with what she is also saying.

Fact is, most people who get married for any length of time will need to make a choice at some point about either 1. forgiving an indiscretion (of varying sorts), 2. getting a divorce. Its just human nature.

Some people deal with this problem by staying married for a decade or so (or less!) and then finding a new partner through divorce. Some stay married and decide to forgive or ignore an indiscretion. A *very* rare few actually stay married AND stay faithful to each other "till death do us part".

All I'm saying is that the latter is the IDEAL, the exception, and not the norm as many young people seem to think. Thank you Hollywood and daytime TV. In a way, its like winning the lottery. If you don't believe me, find a couple married or together for > than 20 years or so. If you are lucky enough to know them well enough to get honest answers from them, ask if there was ever any cheating. If not, I would bet there was a prior marriage for one or both, or they are a very exceptional couple in some way.

[urkiddingme]

my honest answer:

it is the society that has been molded for you. you can thank the government, the media, and all the rich elite scumbags that control all of it for promoting all the sickness you see in society. this sickness affects everyone in some way shape or form.

look at your television programs.....

again, you can thank the government for this sick distorted society we live in now. all you see on television is sex, lies, and cheating. LOL even in shows for your teenage daughters and sons!

so there is your answer.

[MissAnn]

Its naive to think that cheating doesn't happen. Giga understands my point, and that its not inconsistent with what she is also saying.

Fact is, most people who get married for any length of time will need to make a choice at some point about either 1. forgiving an indiscretion (of varying sorts), 2. getting a divorce. Its just human nature.

Some people deal with this problem by staying married for a decade or so (or less!) and then finding a new partner through divorce. Some stay married and decide to forgive or ignore an indiscretion. A *very* rare few actually stay married AND stay faithful to each other "till death do us part".

All I'm saying is that the latter is the IDEAL, the exception, and not the norm as many young people seem to think. Thank you Hollywood and daytime TV. In a way, its like winning the lottery. If you don't believe me, find a couple married or together for > than 20 years or so. If you are lucky enough to know them well enough to get honest answers from them, ask if there was ever any cheating. If not, I would bet there was a prior marriage for one or both, or they are a very exceptional couple in some way.

Ok, I get what you are saying and I agree. I think when you say indiscretion of varying sorts it kind of broadens the category. I mean, Tiger Woods' behavior is NOT normal, but I think everyone occasionally flirts or is tempted by another. I personally don't define that as cheating. Some may go as far as having a one night stand or fling. Personally, I would chose to leave and start over if my partner did that.

I am in my thirties, and don't really know if I want to get married. Maybe I'll manage to be the exception because by the time I walk down the aisle, we'll both have one foot in the grave anyway.

[OneQuestion]

Separation of church and state... Too bad, if they weren't seperate maybe all these cheaters would be locked up? Stupid whores...

[IndiReloaded]

Ok, I get what you are saying and I agree. I think when you say indiscretion of varying sorts it kind of broadens the category. I mean, Tiger Woods' behavior is NOT normal, but I think everyone occasionally flirts or is tempted by another. I personally don't define that as cheating. Some may go as far as having a one night stand or fling. Personally, I would chose to leave and start over if my partner did that.

Well, again I disagree. I think Tiger Wood's behaviour is completely 'normal'. Historically, men in his position (wealth & prestige) had all kinds of flings. What isn't normal is the way the media feels perfectly free to air everyone's dirty laundry out and hold them up to a completely unreasonable standard. Keep in mind I haven't been following the tabloid dirt on this, and I don't watch television. LF and newspaper is about as exciting as I get.

Humans like sex. Some humans like LOTS of sex. Some humans, like Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, probably Bill Gates (tho you won't ever know b/c he's SMART), etc, etc. happen to like sex, are in a position to be offered lots of sex and will occasionally take us such offeres. Especially if they aren't getting any at home. Why shouldn't they? They work hard, they are successful, they can afford it.

Frankly, I don't see it being any different for successful women. Go forth and make thyself self-sufficient and you can pretty much do whatever you want. Its only b/c, historically, women allowed themselves to be kept by men that the guys got to call the shots. If Hillary Clinton, or Maggie Thatcher, Indira Ghandi or Oprah for that matter, want(ed) to take a lover then why not?

Point is, make choices for what works for you. Being successful allows you the freedom to make those choices.

[MissAnn]

Indi-Ah-I guess you have a point!

Out of curiosity, and it is none of my business I know-if you firmly see monogamy as unnatural how do you handle your own relationships? Do you overlook infidelity, have an open marriage, or just try to be the exception?

[Gigabitch]

She keeps a stable of houseboys and a rolled-up newspaper just in case her husband has a complaint.