Help me, Is My Problem With Women What I Think It Is?

[oldskool83]

Having a laundry list of items for a wife you say. you holding high standards. you wanna know what my list is. no one in college (ill be 28 soon) , live on your own have a car and a job, besides that im a very open person.

it really sounds like your soley going off looks only. theres more to a woman than that. should you be attracted to her, yes. i see cockyness in your tone also as other users say. and i will tell you why its there. somthing has happened in your life and your putting on show or gaurding yourself to not get hurt again. i think your scared of somthing, its ok, we all are.

[TheSingleGuy]

Well, I'm gonna make an appointment with a female therapist. There is definitely a disconnect between who I am today and the quality of women I'm dating. Major, major disconnect.

In fact, later today or this week, I'm gonna call a girl I am great friends with that I met last summer. She is totally a bad fit for me in the physical attraction department. I just don't see how she couldn't see that. Women generally have way more social intuition than men and anyone with an ounce of social intuition could have looked at me and looked at her and realized we'd never be boyfriend/girlfriend. It was just that obvious.

We went out a few times and I love her personality, for the most part. I can't stop thinking about the time I took her out for our second date, and at dinner, I told her "You do realize that you and I, we could never be boyfriend and girlfriend. You do realize this, don't you." Her eyes teared up for just a split second and then she continued to sleep with me anyway. We've had some great times and conversations together. But I would never be seen in public with this girl around my part of town (of course I don't tell her that). In her part of the metroplex, sure, but not in my area. For me, it's embarrassing.

I really want to know what she was thinking when we first met. At the time that I went over this with her, we had slept together one time. I just want to know if she was throwing herself into the FWB category before I told her specifically. If she says she was, that might give me a really strong clue in terms of where my disconnect is.

Don't most women say to themselves..."Would I end up getting hurt by this guy? Would he commit?"...before they go out on the first date??? Like I say, ALL of my ex-girlfriend's friends told her not to date me because I wouldn't commit. How they came to that conclusion without even meeting me is beyond me. But that is what they were all saying.

I am willing to do whatever it takes to get what I want in life. Right now, I just don't know what it is that I need to do. I need help. So I will definitely call the therapist.

As for a lack of self confidence, I am fairly well convinced that isn't the problem. Maybe the therapist can tell me with better clarity. Honestly, I think the issue is a lack of communication and too much in the assumption department. I am almost positive about this, anyway.

[DannyH]

Do a google search about settling for less and the reasons why people do it.

[tremolo]

We went out a few times and I love her personality, for the most part. I can't stop thinking about the time I took her out for our second date, and at dinner, I told her "You do realize that you and I, we could never be boyfriend and girlfriend. You do realize this, don't you." Her eyes teared up for just a split second and then she continued to sleep with me anyway. We've had some great times and conversations together. But I would never be seen in public with this girl around my part of town (of course I don't tell her that). In her part of the metroplex, sure, but not in my area. For me, it's embarrassing.

I really want to know what she was thinking when we first met. At the time that I went over this with her, we had slept together one time. I just want to know if she was throwing herself into the FWB category before I told her specifically. If she says she was, that might give me a really strong clue in terms of where my disconnect is.

It is unbelievable to me that any woman would allow a guy to treat her so disrespectfully. Even more unbelievable is what an arrogant jerk you sound like. If she's so horrible you can't be seen with her, why were you dating and sleeping with her anyway? You are beyond superficial - and apparently desperate as well.

[MerryH]

"You do realize that you and I, we could never be boyfriend and girlfriend. You do realize this, don't you."

Ugh, you're gross. Just leave that girl alone. You were terribly rude to her and you used her for sex. Don't call her up and ask her to help you get to the bottom of your woman problems, you sick ****.

[Wakeup]

As for a lack of self confidence, I am fairly well convinced that isn't the problem. Maybe the therapist can tell me with better clarity. Honestly, I think the issue is a lack of communication and too much in the assumption department. I am almost positive about this, anyway.

Well of course you're right. How could anyone of your fantastictude ever be wrong?

Look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I think there will be a picture of you under the definition. I think you are attracted to what you consider a lower number than your own because they are a good source of narcissitic supply for you. I don't think you'd be comfortable fighting for the spotlight with someone who was (what you perceive to be) your equal.

I want a girlfriend that I'm physically attracted to. But to this day, this still eludes me.

Perhaps you're not as hot shit as you think you are?

I bet you have trouble attracting mentally healthy women. You should ask your therapist about this.

Yes.. yes, you should.

[IndiReloaded]

You actually sound somewhat manic to me, based on your posts. Addiction? I know a few entrepreneurs like this. Money is certainly no barrier to irresponsibility in other areas. As to letting women know how they should behave, that is just weird thinking, at least for my mindset. In my case, I never thought like that, I was always comparing compatibilities and how well I thought we might fit. I had a very specific set of criteria I was looking for.

I bet you have trouble attracting mentally healthy women. You should ask your therapist about this.

[tremolo]

. As to letting women know how they should behave, that is just weird thinking, at least for my mindset.

Indeed. You let a woman know upfront what you want with her so nobody gets hurt or manipulated and nobody wastes any time. You don't tell her so she can perform more to your liking.

You are such an ass.

[Wakeup]

Yes, add manipulative along with everything else. It's all about him.

I find it odd that he can .. uhm.. perform. Afterall, he says he's not attracted. More like he's attracted but thinks he's too good for them and that's whats mixing him up.

Should we add sexual addiction to the list? Who cares what the source is as long as there is a source?

[MaidenMinx]

Wow oh wow! Aren't you the superficial one.

You do realise that the 1 - 10 scale is based on personal opinion, don't you? I've been called a 10 to my face and photos online have been rated as low as a 3 though that same photo averages out at an 8. I really don't care. I know with the right clothes and make up I can look like a 10 but bumming around the house ... well I'd rate myself a 5 but I know other people would see me as a 2. So what you see as a 10 your mates might see as a 4. Stop the numbers game.

One thing I have discovered from my experience dating and from watching other people date is, the more emphasis you put on how someone looks, the less chance you have of finding a successful relationship. Yes you need to be attracted to someone, I won't deny that. Though looks fade, personality doesn't. Now that you have worked on yourself physically (and by the way, you do not need to cut your hair that often once every 4 - 6 weeks is more than adequate and seriously, pedicures??? Can't you reach your toes?!? Maybe that's another thing scaring women off! You are more high maitenance than ANY woman I know!) work on your personality. Dating someone you are not interested in starting a relationship with is arsehole behaviour!

[CAM]

Your narrative says that you worked on your appearance and things related to image in the world...physique and material gain. Very good. Now, work on the "inside."

My gfs are very slim and good looking by societal standards (personally, I'd prefer a healthy looking Greek woman). I do half of what you do. A haircut every 4-6 weeks, shave every day, clip my own toenails, live a middle class life. I work out, but no 6 pack abs and I'm not rippling muscle. So, why do they go out with me? Probably just because I'm genuine with them. The quote-un-quote "hotties" who have a brain are often gun-shy about relationships because too many guys are looking for their beauty rather than the rest of them. They are real people behind the high cheek bones, perfect bust, and full lips. If you spend time thinking about who you are and who they are behind their physical masks...you might find the answer on your own. Stop looking and start listening to what they say and watching what they do.

[pisces25]

You are a disgusting pig OP. Get ready for a long, lonely life ahead. And remind yourself that 'tens' still shit faeces like the rest of us. Freak.

[surfhb]

Yep....the OP is a true xxxx xx xxxx. So much so , I question the validity of his posts...could all be a big joke

[HeartIsAching]

You wanna see what self-confidence in a male does, watch how single women react to a happily married man. Fact. If they ain't reactin' to you like that, you ain't got it yet.

I get hit on a hell of a lot more now that I've got a wedding band on than I ever did without. The irony is so thick you'd need a chainsaw to cut it.

[TheSingleGuy]

A lot of people calling me names and kicking me in this thread. Very mature.

Seriously, I get the feeling that the women think I'm an ass for sleeping with a girl I have no intention of having a relationship with. I'll point out some facts very quickly:

1.) I never made this girl do anything she didn't want to do. Nothing at all. She wanted sex after I told her that we'd never be girlfriend/boyfriend and I strongly suspect she realized it before I told her.
2.). She slept with me on the first date. Seriously, if she's thinking long term relationship on her end, something that could end in marriage, this is a HORRIBLE decision. Ladies, if you want a real relationship, don't give it for at least 5 dates or more. No guy who is thinking no chance of a relationship will pursue through that. And most guys who want a real relationship would way prefer you say no for the first five dates. No guy wants to remember that his wife gave it up to him on the first date. That's not comforting to most of us.
3.). I talked with her on the phone for an hour tonight. We like each other. If I were such an ass, why would she still be talking to me???? This girl is very smart.

Enough of this. I need help and all the women want to do is throw derogatory labels at me and call me names. Thanks, but I'm done with this thread. I'm gonna call the therapist.