Have to Stay

[DonkeyBone]

I feel like I have to try and make things work with my ex girlfriend (who i'm sort of talking with right now) because noone will ever tolerate or love me and she is the best I can do. She is really sweet and cute but for some reason she just doesn't do it for me. I'm not that attracted to her because she is so small (5 foot). I often find myself bored and feeling nothing in the relationship but I feel like I have to try and make things work and stay with her because noone out there will tolerate me or like me. I'm a really weird person, I like to play video games and read books and study history and watch sports. All the things that girls hate. I have an odd sense of humor that turns some people off and I feel like I'm a pretty shallow person, especially cause I think the girl I'm with now is too small for me. I don't feel like I could get the girl of my dreams and if I did I don't think I could satisfy her or make her happy enough to want to stay with me. I feel like I should just keep trying with this girl and try and feel something but no matter how long I stay I just don't. Maybe I should just settle idk. Advice please?

[pisces25]

Nope don't settle. And work on your self esteem. Sounds like you are approaching the wrong girls if they ones you are don't like reading books, history, video games etc coz I can assure you there are a ton of girls out there that like those things.

I would also advise against having a 'girl of your dreams' ideology. It is ok to want certain characteristics in a person but a lot of the times people have a huge expectation on their ideal partner that no one will ever be able to live up to, which will leave you feeling depressed, disappointed etc.

It is unfair on your ex to stay with her when you are not attracted to her or not interested in building a relationship. Let her go and work on improving yourself so you can be confident around the girls you like and not have your current fears in terms of not being able to satisfy them or make them happy.

[DonkeyBone]

I don't really have a 'girl of my dreams' ideology. I just use that phrase meaning whatever girl I will want to marry once I meet her. I suppose my self esteem is poor but I don't really see myself as having a confidence problem I just don't think I'm much of a catch or someone people want to be around. I guess that is bad self esteem but I"m a pretty outgoing person and I don't let it get in the way of having fun and stuff I just think no pretty girl will ever want to be with me.

[pisces25]

Well if you don't think you are much of a catch or someone people want to be around how do you expect a member of the opposite sex to see you like that? You are projecting a lot of negativity about yourself. And it is a confidence/self esteem problem. The fact you don't think a pretty girl will ever want to be with you means you don't see yourself worth having a pretty girl. Your attitude needs to change. Otherwise you're right, no one will want you.

[DonkeyBone]

So how do I change that perception of myself? I don't know how.

[Wakeup]

I just think no pretty girl will ever want to be with me.

I suggest you read the book "The Secret." It will teach you about the Law of Attraction (which has nothing to do with looks btw) but about the energy you put out into the Universe is the engergy that you will attract back. Right now you have nothing but negative energy emitting from your core. You need to change that up, son.

[HeartIsAching]

because noone will ever tolerate or love me and she is the best I can do.

My advice? Quit thinking so negatively. Why the hell would you say something like that?

You may not have a "Girl of my dreams" ideology, but it's my firm belief that there's someone out there for everyone. Patience is key. If you settle with the wrong person, what will you do when the right one comes along?

[devonbrown]

Don't try to make things work with her. She doesn't deserve to be the person you "settle" for. She deserves to be with someone who wants her.

Work on your own self-image and self-esteem. If you don't know how, I would suggest visiting the self-help section of the library or a bookstore or even seeing a therapist. Once you gain a little faith and confidence in yourself, you will see everything in your life in a different way.

And I know plenty of girls who like all the things you say that you like. Stop stereotyping and entire gender. That may help.

Good luck.