I should have seen this sign...- Girls read so you do not make the same mistake

[Juanny30]

Hi all,

I know some of you have read my threats and have an idea that I met a guy online and we went out for 4 dates, etc...I had issues about being secure about myself...etc...anyway, he ended up disappearing from my life and it was a lesson for me in many aspects...well today doing all this thinking about what happened...I realized that there was one situation that happened with this guy that because it was so hard to believe I tried to remove it from my reality and belive his lies...

Here is what happened.

We went to have dinner, we walked on the beach and we ended up at a club on the beach. We were dancing but we also went to the bar to get some drinks, so we met a gay couple and we started talking to them, one guy was talking to me, the other was talking to him...anyway, other people started talking to him and when I realized there was a girl talking to him...I finished talking to other people and he was still talking to her...she was all smiling and talking to him and he was into her conversation, he wouldnt look at me at all so I felt so bad and I decided to leave that area of the club...I felt awkward and while I was drinking my glass of wine and watching other people dancing...I was trying to think how I was going to handle this situation, it was our second date and what if he wanted to hook up with this girl, etc so while I had those thoughts in my head, he came to me and huged me, then he took me to the stage and we were dancing and having a great time...he was drinking too...okay, well at some point, I decided to go to the bathroom but this place is big and I could not find the bathroom, It took me a while and then when I found it I felt the alcohol on me bad so I had a hard time finding the part of the club where we were dancing...I went back and nothing...I looked for him for one hour and he dissapeared...it was so incredible like okay, he must be somewhere, I do not think he would just dissapear..well, if you are reading...seat...he was gone, could not find him, they close the place and he was nowhere...I called him and he did not answer the phone...I left like 3 different voice messages... and nothing...my car was 4 miles away from this place as we decided to drive from the restaurant to the club....I walked by myself...and I felt so hummillated...like never in my life...at some point the alcohol kicked in worse so I started crying....a guy followed me and I got lucky that he was friendly so he walked with me and he listened to my story and he was speachless as well....I drove back to my place, I can not describe how confused and sad I was...

Later, after 5 hrs, he called me and he was asking me where I was, that he was looking for me, that somebody put something on his drink and he could not remember anything, he said he could not remember why he did not wait for me outside the bathroom and he does not remember what happened. He said he was sitting outside one of the hotels close the club and realized he was sitting there for around 2 hrs just waiting for me...he apologized, he told me he could not drive as he did not sleep all night and he was going to get a hotel room there and stay...he told me he felt sick. I went to see him to his room, he was hugging me and he was telling me how sorry he was and that was very bad that he could not remember anything...I guess I wanted to believe him, I did not want to think he left me there....and I gave him the benefit of the doubt...in our next date, he took me to a concert and he told me he wanted to show me he cares about me and that he would never leave me again...etc...

Now that he is not calling and thinking about this issue that I tried not to pay attention, I think I should have seen the signs!!! It hit me, he did hook up with somebody else that night...

Who loses a date??? seriously? who dissapears like that? the worst part of everything is that I was not thinking!!!! I should have been so mad at him and I should have not answered the phone!!!

Have you ever been in a situation like this??? Seriously girls, if something like this happens do not make the mistake like I did to overlook this!!

I am so hurt because now I feel back in the past when he disappeared...what an

[tremolo]

The pitfalls of boozy dates.

[JadenMia]

I just want to say, if on a second date, this all happened, I wouldnt have even give him the time of day afterwards. What were you thinking?
Even just hitting on another woman whilst on a date with me.. I would have laughed, said goodbye and left.

You need to think more highly of yourself. How can someone else love you, when you dont even love yourself?
I think you need to get into therapy and try and work on your issues before going on any more dates. Stop puttng men first on your list. Be happy, have friends, have family, have a life. Dont keep looking for love when you are not ready for it.
Best of luck

[Juanny30]

Yes, I do not know what I was thinking...you are absolutely right. I mean he was not really fiirting with the girl, he was having a conversation but still I felt bad cause I do have selfesteem issues...

Lesson learned...still can't believe I believed him...

I just want to say, if on a second date, this all happened, I wouldnt have even give him the time of day afterwards. What were you thinking?
Even just hitting on another woman whilst on a date with me.. I would have laughed, said goodbye and left.

You need to think more highly of yourself. How can someone else love you, when you dont even love yourself?
I think you need to get into therapy and try and work on your issues before going on any more dates. Stop puttng men first on your list. Be happy, have friends, have family, have a life. Dont keep looking for love when you are not ready for it.
Best of luck

[tremolo]

Well, there is a big difference between conversing and flirting... but no guy should be having a sustained conversation with some random girl while he's on a date with you.

[JadenMia]

You dont need to feel bad.. Especially not about yourself! There are a lot of pricks in this world, just because one treats you badly doesnt mean anything about you. Its just simply because they are pricks. If they dont do things that are fair to you, make you feel bad. Then you ditch and move on. You dont need to feel sad or down about yourself. Life is too short to worry about other people that come in and out of your life. You will find someone to be with, but it will come in its own time. Dont force it.

How old are you?

[Juanny30]

I am 35, I am originally from Mexico but I moved here 9 years ago...all my family is in Mexico, I live here by myself and it has not been easy as I am very close to my family...I have been dating now for 4 years after a bad marriage and I am tired of this...I want a family and stability...but this experience really showed that I do need help, I have therapy scheduled and I need to start working on loving myself...

You dont need to feel bad.. Especially not about yourself! There are a lot of pricks in this world, just because one treats you badly doesnt mean anything about you. Its just simply because they are pricks. If they dont do things that are fair to you, make you feel bad. Then you ditch and move on. You dont need to feel sad or down about yourself. Life is too short to worry about other people that come in and out of your life. You will find someone to be with, but it will come in its own time. Dont force it.

How old are you?

[Juanny30]

You are right...low selfesteem is in my head and I did not see how bad this was...

Well, there is a big difference between conversing and flirting... but no guy should be having a sustained conversation with some random girl while he's on a date with you.