Has he lost interest - mens view really appreciated

[confusedbelle3]

Hi
i dated a guy for 5 months. We were not exclusive and wanted to be single and have fun because we were both fresh out of 5 year relationships with other people. We would meet about once a week, have dinner sex have a great time. during the week we would keep in touch by text about our life / as friends / sometimes sexual

i knew he had some feelings for me and wasnt just using me. i also got the feeling he wouldnt have wanted me for a serious girlfriend though (or anyone else i dont think) i was ok and felt kind of the same.

then we had a fight and didnt speak for 2 months. we made up eventually and agreed to meet as friends. we met up and had a great night, got drunk, couldnt stop talking to each other had sex really great time. in the moment it was light and not akward. it is since then that i have started to like him more than that. i think about him a lot.

he still initiated calls and texts etc, and was always commenting on my facebook etc. he asked me to meet him for a coffee the other day and this is where it goes wrong : as soon as he sat down he started talking about how busy he was going to be in the future, especially with future events at night (he works at night at social events at the moment) he was going on and on about this thing and that that would mean he wouldnt be around. it made me feel pretty insecure. other than that the coffee meet was nice and friendly.

so he know where i would be last night and he was close and with other friends, he didnt text call or turn up to where i was - guys are these two things big red flags of his level of interest going down ???

my plan was going to be this: i was going to have fun with him a few more times, a few more times spending the night with him, and then i was going to let him know how i feel, that i like him more now and would like to be with him. But now i cant because i am too insecure at the moment i even have a fear that he is hoping i get the hint that he doesnt want to have sex with me anymore..

the biggest thing that is making me sad and thinking he is just not into me since recently, is that just before this weekend when we met, after we left each other he sent me a text saying ''have a great weekend!'' when basically this weekend there were a million opportunities for him and me to meet up at night, day time (because we are going to the same summer concerts and events going on) on the other hand the night before that he sent me a slightly romantic text at 3am even though he knew i was out of town and could nt meet up.

I am confused. Lastly he is commenting less on my facebook, i am getting less messages from him.
Can he sense i started to like him?? Does he think about me if i think about him this much? or does it not work that way.....

i know i might get some responses 'you have to tell him how you feel simple as that' BUT lately as i have explained i get the feeling he might be trying to let me down gently. And a lot of the time i think you know what he would have asked me out if he wanted me for more. So i couldnt approach him with that i like him if he is not into me anymore , i am not THAT brave lolll

Any ideas guys? THANK YOU SO MUCH REALLY APPRECIATE MANS OPINION ON THIS ONE! XX

[smackie9]

The coffee conversation was pretty clear. He pretty much has said to you the FWB is done, there will be no interest in a relationship, he is now decided to stay single and do other women, but it would be ok to have a few more times with you before we part ways.

[smackie9]

Stop listening to what your heart is saying. What is your gut instinct telling you?

[confusedbelle3]

thanks smackie

so him telling me how busy he was going to be translates as ' i dont want fwbs anymore' ???
in this coffee conversation he did mention possibly trying to get me two tickets to something
in a couple of weeks ... but he said he cant get one ticket he has to get two.. oh god thats really clear isnt it

but why then does he post likes on my facebook.. why initiate a text? also a few days before the
coffee he sent me a good morning text, then asked me out to an event that night (i had other plans)
until the coffee he was acting kind of into me ? somewhere mid week it changed a little.

i dont know what to do. i guess i should just stop thinking about it, about him.
the only other alternative is to send him a message asking him stuff, or being honest myself, not too excited
about that option.
also lastly guys, sorry and thanks, but do you think he does want my friendship? last week at the start of the
week he was texting me all this stuff about his work... seems like he wants a friendship? i literally just kept
responding to the texts, never initiated it, and he continued? im confused!!

Lastly, in the two months that we split up we deleted each other on facebook aswell. since we added each other
again, there are two girls that post on his posts that were not posting before. they appear to be friends
with each other...
one of them posted to his wall ... see you tonight! this could be a friend of his though, right?

how do i know for sure that he is not into me? does the coffee meeting when he was telling me how
busy he was going to be signal that he is uninterested? is that how it works guys? Could it be that he was trying to tell me that he was temporarily going to be unavailable? aaargh sound like an idiot. but to be fair
he is confusing. he isnt being clear about not liking me :-(

[confusedbelle3]

gut instinct tells me if he liked me he would have tried to tell me when we made up as friends and slept together.
something like i missed you, do you want to date again, you know, just something. but then again he is not like that
in character. i dont get it he seemed interested AFTER hooking up, but then at coffee and since .. not interested.

gut instincts also tell me he probably has other women at the moment (probably one of the facebook girls plus other
women or potentials) he live close to each other and there are SO many concerts and parties at the moment - gut instinct tells me when all the parties are done if he is still single or if things dont work out with poss. girl, he will
be back - but as a FWB.

i get confused because for example my girlfriend saw us together for the first time a few weeks ago and said
there was sooo much energy between me and him. i get confused when he seems sincere that he wants a friendship
instead of nothing. i get confused when i get a damn text on my phone at 3am even though he knows i am not around for a booty call. i get confused by him its not clear he doesnt like me. sometimes he does.

thank you for helping - already just those two answers have helped. tough as the first response was to read :-)))

[confusedbelle3]

why at the end of the coffee did he give me a long sensual hug? i was just going for a kiss on the cheek
sooo many different signals from him, its not just 100 percent clear which is what i find hard.

do i confront him in any way guys? or just go.

[DannyH]

Just leave. He likes you in all but he wants to put his career first so he is taking you out of his life. Make it easier for the both of you and just bounce.

[confusedbelle3]

but wait sorry but so does it seem to every guy here that
''i have so much going on right now with night projects etc'' means i dont want to see you??
because for me for a moment i was thinking he was just telling me what he had going on in his life??
i mean we are supposed friends as well so if was busy right now but was interested in me still, he would still
tell me he was busy? or no?

[confusedbelle3]

do i ask him if he was trying to tell me he didnt want to see me?

[DannyH]

Don't ask him anything. He is keeping you around because he likes you but he will not get serious or too attached because of his job. Pretty much just stringing you along. Leave him be.

[qwertz]

He probably isnt really busy, that was a CLEAR signal he no longer wants relations with you. Take the hint for christs sake.

[confusedbelle3]

quertz - so why all the instigated texts about his work at the beginning of the week ? and the romantic text middle of the night wednesday? why things like this? at the coffee he also said when his sister comes to town (in one month) he would love for me to meet her this time .. why all that then??

[confusedbelle3]

should i delete him from facebook? his posts are killing me (out having fun, nothing posted on my wall)

[smackie9]

All that crap about meeting his sister is just talk, partly to distract you from him calling off the relationship....smoothing things over so he doesn't look like a jerk. The texts are to try to keep you on the back burner just in case.

Your feelings for him are just making things hurt too bad for yourself. It would be best to completely write him off, so you can start to heal from your heartache.

[confusedbelle3]

your right you guys and i thank you so much. you were really helpful and i am just going to stop all contact.