are girls just fickle?

[mrund3rd09]

I introduced myself to a girl who seemed to be out of my league, just to see what would happen. She responded well at first, and then she sort of avoided me, and then asked me to study together with her. We bonded pretty well during the time I studied with her (or at least I thought), but now she's not talking to me again. I'm not really chasing her. All I did was ask her to study with me and meanwhile get to know her a little more. I thought she was single, but then the other day, I saw her meeting with another dude during her 15 minute lunch break (I don't know her enough to determine whether or not she's single, or whether that was her bf)

I would really like to analyze what happened. But it's very hard, considering we haven't had much contact at all. We studied together once in the ~5 weeks that we've been the class together. We were both pretty busy, and time flies. I assumed that neither of us had time to really go on a date.

Maybe she just wanted to avoid me this whole time, but then why did she approach me in the library, wanting to study together?
Maybe she thought I was moving too slow, and she found someone else. Or she had a boyfriend all this time.
Right now, I think it'll be best to just treat her as an acquaintance.

I don't understand girls, but I'm learning. Maybe you can help me analyze what happened.

[DoesntMatter]

Yeah, fickle and whimsical from everything I've seen

[mrund3rd09]

it would be nice if you specify some more

as in, help me understand why they do it, what it means, how one should respond, etc.

[tremolo]

She might have just actually wanted to study with you, and nothing else. Or maybe she's trying it on with a variety of guys, because she's bored, or doesn't know what she wants... there could be many reasons for this. Just don't chase her. And don't let her play you, either. If he ignores you and then suddenly wants to meet up, don't be so available.

[mrund3rd09]

she doesn't ignore me. She just doesn't really talk to me. I'm the one who has to initiate the conversations. Otherwise, she's nice to me. But I understand what you mean. Things don't feel too smooth with her, so I'm backing off.

[MerryH]

All I did was ask her to study with me and meanwhile get to know her a little more.

That bolded part - did you actually tell her that? You shouldn't have. It's can come off as creepy, kinda.

You said she's not talking to you now, but are you actually trying to talk to her? How does she respond?

I don't think there's anything to analyze, because nothing ever really happened. It sounds like you just sort of stopped talking to her, so she stopped talking to you. And yes, definitely treat her as an acquaintance, because that's what she is. But if you want to pursue something romantically, ask her on a date. Then you'll have answers to most of your questions.

Edit: Woooops. I missed the post where you answered my questions. Sorry. But still, ask her out. If she says no, move on.

[mrund3rd09]

yes I try to talk to her as much as I can without coming off as seeming pushy or clingy. She sits with her friends and I sit with my friends. It doesn't make sense for me to talk across the room everyday and try to have a chat with her. And no, I never said anything like "I'd like to get to know you a little more! want to meet again next week?"

[MerryH]

so you recommend me to ask her out and expect a no? okee

No, I recommend that you ask her out and expect either a no or a yes. Could go either way. Who knows? You don't. We don't. But she knows! Ask her.

All you need to say to her is, "Would you like to grab some coffee today after class?" Easy.

[mrund3rd09]

I change my mind. I'm not going to ask her out. trusting my gut on this one.

[ctr916]

In my opinion, a guy can never have too many girl friends. You don't need to do anything if you don't want to; however, if you like her, you may want to keep in touch with her and study with her some more, especially if she is helpful with your studies.

If you are taking economics, try to understand the concept of social transaction costs and how they are much higher for men than for women. An analogy could be that all women are "rich" when it comes their sexuality and all men are "poor" in that regard. Consider how much different the situation would be if you were wealthy and it was socially acceptable to simply ask women for a short term relationship whenever you have a petty cash fund for that purpose.

[mrund3rd09]

I don't know what you said on the second part.

As for friendship, I think that's unlikely.