My Metaphor For Our Relationship

[MARCUS BARKUS 1]

My Metaphor for our relationship

We once had something that to me seemed so untouchable & lasting,We were building a castle with a moat and drawbridge to protect us from the outside world we worked hard and slowly gatherd strengh together and in our solitude we became closer & more one spirit , it was us against the world this world with its greed, hatred & jealosy that has destroyed so many before us,,,,,

We laughed at the things that cause us to crack & weaken , like death, illness & poverty and together we made jokes to cover our pain & heartach but which also made our bond stronger...We did all this in a short space of time while all the time people (& even people close to us ) were trying to find a chink in our armour or a way in by using all the tricks in the book e.g.. their problems or other peoples problems finding weakneses in us like caring pity & empathy which will bring down our barriers & let them in & at the same time forgetting that these same people have had the very same barriers that have been breached in their lives & have made these very same mistakes that have took them to where they are in this life.....

I can see our not fully completed castle start to crumble & the moat dry up & the chains that hold our drawbridge weaken (all metaphors for our bond in our relationship) and it makes me feel weak, helpless, & defeated in a world where them qualitys in a person mean that you are a nothing & a nobody........


& when our walls start to crumble & you feel weak helpless & defeated & the barriers are down ?????

[Pondman]

Don't get it!
Relationships against the rest of the world?
Unless you are Clyde and she is Bonnie.
Doesn't seem like isolation is the best type of relationship.
Kind of like Gilligan and Maryann.
People outside your relationship ending your relationship?
Like a dad with a shotgun!

You really need some counseling if you feel like a nothing and a nobody.

[MARCUS BARKUS 1]

Don't get it!
Relationships against the rest of the world?
Unless you are Clyde and she is Bonnie.
Doesn't seem like isolation is the best type of relationship.
Kind of like Gilligan and Maryann.
People outside your relationship ending your relationship?
Like a dad with a shotgun!

You really need some counseling if you feel like a nothing and a nobody.

I respect your views m8,,How long have you been in a relationship? & you dont think outside influances can affect a relationship e.g when you are starting out & your other half seems under pressure from single friends to go out every weekend on the town & come home at whatever time suits her...
And if she says no they say oh i really need to talk to you ,,but not at home or on the phone ...in a night club or a bar...

[Pondman]

Geeze, I appologize for taking it so light hearted.

Know you are talking about influential thing like drugs and alcohol and week long partying. I don't have a magic wand to offset mind altering experiences.

I just approach relationships differently. I actually like women, so it easy to just hang out. If I see a spark overtime, then I move closer. But its never a do or die thing. I'd never think poorly of another person or a situation because an intimate relationship ends. We would just be moving in different directions at the same time.

[MARCUS BARKUS 1]

Geeze, I appologize for taking it so light hearted.

Know you are talking about influential thing like drugs and alcohol and week long partying. I don't have a magic wand to offset mind altering experiences.

I just approach relationships differently. I actually like women, so it easy to just hang out. If I see a spark overtime, then I move closer. But its never a do or die thing. I'd never think poorly of another person or a situation because an intimate relationship ends. We would just be moving in different directions at the same time.

Well five years mate mae not seem to much to other people,,But when you think you have found that spark & do everything in your power to make it work with finances & home presivation come into play ect it is hard to keep together... & all i am saying is when some people see you as a happy couple there can be jeoulsy among others & they can try to put a spanner in the works,,( for whatever reason ) But it is hard for your partner see this if she wont open her eyes because it is in her single friends...wohm the sun shines from thier butts...

[schueys_girl]

Mate, whether her friends are single or not she is still going to see them. And it is not up to you to decide whether she goes out clubbing with them on weekends and comes home at whatever time she choses. I do this with my boyfriend and he does the same. All his friends are single and it doesnt bother me, i know he loves me and ***SHOCK HORROR*** We trust each other!!!!

Sounds like you just didnt trust her. I think the sun shines from my friends butts because they pick me up and look after me when a bf finishes with me, thier always there, and im sure you lady feels exactly the same. you never ever ditch your friends for you partner, a solid relationship will work fine with your partner seeing thier friends and doing thier own thing a few times a week. A solid relationship is not about complete isolation.

'But when you think you have found that spark & do everything in your power to make it work with finances & home presivation come into play ect it is hard to keep together... '
This Just goes to show you that you can do everything to make a happy home and life together, but cut out friends and your own time and things will go down hill.

'& all i am saying is when some people see you as a happy couple there can be jeoulsy among others & they can try to put a spanner in the works'
Sounds like your the one with jealousy issues, jealous of your lady spending time with her friends!!

'Well five years mate mae not seem to much to other people...'
Five years is a long time mate....a long time to spend in isolation away from having your own life and friends and space to do your own thing!!!

[MARCUS BARKUS 1]

Mate, whether her friends are single or not she is still going to see them. And it is not up to you to decide whether she goes out clubbing with them on weekends and comes home at whatever time she choses. I do this with my boyfriend and he does the same. All his friends are single and it doesnt bother me, i know he loves me and ***SHOCK HORROR*** We trust each other!!!!

Sounds like you just didnt trust her. I think the sun shines from my friends butts because they pick me up and look after me when a bf finishes with me, thier always there, and im sure you lady feels exactly the same. you never ever ditch your friends for you partner, a solid relationship will work fine with your partner seeing thier friends and doing thier own thing a few times a week. A solid relationship is not about complete isolation.

'But when you think you have found that spark & do everything in your power to make it work with finances & home presivation come into play ect it is hard to keep together... '
This Just goes to show you that you can do everything to make a happy home and life together, but cut out friends and your own time and things will go down hill.

'& all i am saying is when some people see you as a happy couple there can be jeoulsy among others & they can try to put a spanner in the works'
Sounds like your the one with jealousy issues, jealous of your lady spending time with her friends!!

'Well five years mate mae not seem to much to other people...'
Five years is a long time mate....a long time to spend in isolation away from having your own life and friends and space to do your own thing!!!

You say i dont trust here well you are wrong,, i have never stopped her seeing her friends or goin out with them ,,all i am saying is that we dont have mutch money (dhss) infact.. I sell some stuff on ebay to earn some extera cash..Which i send into her bank account not mine....
I take her out when i can (not very often i must admit) because of the cash thing but she seems to find it fine to spend what little cash we have on nights out when here friend call her...The same friends that tried to make a move on me at the start of the relationship which i never told her about..
Thats all im saying...

[schueys_girl]

Ok so more fool you for putting YOUR money into HER bank account when you know she spends it foolishly when you should be saving. Do either of you have jobs?!
I know a lot about having no money because im a university student, i can only have a part time job on a weekend, and all my student loan (1200 pounds per year) goes on my tuition fees (1150 pounds per year).
My boyfriend works a full time job so he pays mostly when we go out and i contribute where i can, but we only go out twice a week or so, and this is plenty for us. I dont expect him to have to take me out all the time.

Also more fool you for not being open and honest with her right at the start of the relationship about this friend who made a move on you. If you are still talking about it 5 years on then clearly you have not moved on from it...but it would be crazy to bring it up now so far on from when it happened.
Seems to me you have communication issues if you cant talk to her properly about her spending and about his untrustworthy friend.

[MARCUS BARKUS 1]

Ok so more fool you for putting YOUR money into HER bank account when you know she spends it foolishly when you should be saving. Do either of you have jobs?!
I know a lot about having no money because im a university student, i can only have a part time job on a weekend, and all my student loan (1200 pounds per year) goes on my tuition fees (1150 pounds per year).
My boyfriend works a full time job so he pays mostly when we go out and i contribute where i can, but we only go out twice a week or so, and this is plenty for us. I dont expect him to have to take me out all the time.

Also more fool you for not being open and honest with her right at the start of the relationship about this friend who made a move on you. If you are still talking about it 5 years on then clearly you have not moved on from it...but it would be crazy to bring it up now so far on from when it happened.
Seems to me you have communication issues if you cant talk to her properly about her spending and about his untrustworthy friend.

Ok then im a fool then thanks for your help.....

[MARCUS BARKUS 1]

Ok then im a fool then thanks for your help.....

I have just ****ed her slag m8 cheers for the advice Schuey's Co Driver

[schueys_girl]

lol u sound like a really nice guy!!