Depression From Being Excluded. Need Help. Thanks

[rawfan1989]

Hello all, I really want to thank all who has offered advice in my previous posts. Well I have a situation that I have been that I have been thanking about for a long time. Well ever since last semester February I have come to a realization that usually make a big deal out of stuff that really is not a big deal. In other words I make a mountain out of a molehill. Here it goes. I have been trying to put myself out there and trying to get out of my comfort zone with hanging and socializing with people my own age. So I have been hanging out with some of these people who I met through my cousin who is about couple of years younger than me. Well we all have ate lunch together several times. It seems like I never get to anything outside of school. There was that one time, but I was present at the time and I guess no one wanted to rude. So I thought adding people on facebook would be of some help and it turns out it seems for the most part no one wants anything to do with me there. And so we are clear I am not an A hole to anybody. I treat all people good "the golden rule." I don't even get invited by own cousin who I don't thank hates me, but I wander if I could be an embarrassment for which I don't know why. I don't do anything stupid or repulsive I am mostly quiet by nature.

And the point I am trying to make is this if I am trying to put myself out there and it seems that nobody wants anything to do with me, then what chance do I have finding someone or that someone find me. Right now kind of depressed from feeling being excluded. Need help please. Thanks

[JadenMia]

Do you have any hobbies? Or interests?
Forcing yourself to try be 'in' with the crowd is not the way to go. Most likely in time you would have realised you dont have much in common anyway. So why not trying different things? Joining groups or look into the community to find groups of something that you enjoy and find interesting. Chances are, you will find people that you lots in common with and you will find it SO much easier to fit in and feel comfortable.
After i moved to Canada, i thought i was alone here. I just didnt fit in with anyone and felt miserable for the longest time. After working here, meeting alll kinds of different people i have met the ones that i click with the best and now i have met some really amazing people and i dont feel so excluded and lonely. Its really nice to know that you have put yourself out there and out of your comfort zone and got a result. It is a very proud feeling.

Best of luck!

[rawfan1989]

Well its like this I am trying to find people who do share the same interests and values. Most of the people that I tried to hangout with is allegedly "christian." I am a christian so I thought it would be a good idea to try to hang out with Christians my own age. But I get the feeling of exclusion even if I am there. One thing that goes against my favor is that most of the people that is in that group has known each other for a long time. Another thing that I guess is my old school frame of mind, like most of the music that people my age are listening to is so annoying. I am more apt to listen to something Christian. I don't believe in drinking, smoking and tattoos. Though I don't thank it is wrong getting a temporary tattoo that will go away in no time, I don't like those lifetime commitment ones. Plus not only that it is where I live there is not a lot of young people in my area and especially my church and FYI I not only would like to make friends, but to find the one. So I don't know what I should do. But one thing that annoys me about the whole finding the one deal is that I am not an ugly looking guy, but I am not a perfect ten maybe 8-9 and I have a sweet (christian) personality with everyone and still no one takes notice. So IDK...

[MerryH]

I am mostly quiet by nature.

Maybe this is your problem. Do you try to make conversation and show an interest in getting to know people? If you're kind of that guy who is always "just there," then maybe it's easy for people to sort of forget about you. It sucks, but that's how it goes.

Kudos for making an effort to socialize. Keep trying!