Hey everyone I'll keep the story as short as possible.
I'm 28 Chinese, only child living at home with parents who are very traditional.
Migrated with parents to Australia since I was 8 years old and have been living in Sydney
ever since. I speak (1)English and Mandarin. My parents speak minimal English.
My girlfriend is 28 Vietnamese, She's been in Australia since she was 11. Her dad
disappeared/ran away when she was 7 years old and hasn't been seen since. She came to
Australia with her mum and lives with her grandparents and aunty. She has a strained
relationship with her mum and doesn't speak Mandarin. She speaks (1)English, Vietnamese
and Cantonese.
She's more independent than I am, I'm still more or less of a momma's boy.
We've been friends for almost 2 months b4 we started dating, it's been 3 months now.
I met her thru a social gathering function.
I've had an incling that my mum doesn't like her when she came over for bike riding
and table tennis (when we were just friends) so I lied about a road trip during Easter
that I took my girlfriend on to the outback saying that I'm going out on a road trip with
my high school friends (all guys). Because if they'd knew they would never have allow me to go.
But they found out through my ill-considered plan and all hell broke loss.
They want me to end the relationship immediately, saying she's brainwashed me, she's not
good/compatible for me. She's selfish, inconsiderate and can't speak Mandarin, it's like
having a foreigner as a daughter-in-law. Her family is messed up and not normal,
what if you two have kids and then she runs away like her dad. And other irrational
presumptions that I won't mention.
They say they'll disown me, sell the house and move back to China if I don't break up with
her. They can't accept the fact that she did not grow up in a normal family surrounding.
The main reasion they think she's selfish is because the road trip took longer than we
anticipated. So we spent 4 days of the 5 days Easter long weekend outside b4 we came back.
I was dating other girls when we were just friends, but she asked me to be exclusive with
her which I happily obliged to do, my parents ask me why I don't like the other girls who
are Chinese and can speak Mandarin, I say I don't click with them the way I do with her.
I've asked them to have lunch together with her but my parents refused, saying there's no
need. My dad hasn't even met her yet, my mum's only seen her one time and says she's got
a small head (which she does) but I like her not for her looks but her personality brains and wit.
If I am a Sheldon Cooper then she'd be as close to the female version of that, just like Elaine
and Jerry Seinfeld but not that so similar that it's freaky.
I think I've listed enough stuff for now, I really like my girlfriend and don't want to
leave her, but my parents are driving me crazy, their ideal girlfriend would be someone
who can speak Mandarin and who's parents are not divorced. It's really affecting my
relationship with her. I know they mean no harm and are just been very protective of me.
But are my parents over-reacting? What should and shouldn't I do?
Thanks for reading
So bloody stressed