needing some advice

[yellowd]

I think I should give a little history on my situation so that my issue may be a little more clear. I met my boyfriend several years ago and we were friends before we decided to try dating. Well while we were dating I got pregnant and we split up after a bad argument shortly after I found out that I was pregnant. We started dating other people he married (a very short lived marriage) and divorced this woman who treated him and his family horribly. After that he and I started talking again and decided that we wanted to try to rekindle what we had. Well, I've moved in with him since then because we were doing the long distance thing being as he moved several hours away after we split. Since I have moved in with him I have caught nothing but drama from his ex-wife. She's been messaging him on one of those social networking websites and writing letters. In order to avoid more drama I told him that I would let him handle it being as he had been being honest with me about it and I figured that he would.
Well, a few days ago he used my laptop and failed to sign out of the account of his on the said social website. Normally, I would have just signed out of the account and went about my business but he also left the chat window open where he had been talking to an acquaintence of his and he had been talking about me. In this conversation he told his friend that he still loved his ex-wife and still had feelings for her that she was still contacting him online. In the next sentence he said that he felt comfortable with me and felt like he had a chance to have a hand in raising our child and that would only be another 15 years and that he didn't think that would take that long being as the last 12 years of his life had flown by.This hit me hard because he had me convinced that he loved me. I don't see how someone can supposively love two people romantically at the same time. I'm not sure that I believe that is possible. Of course after I read that I had to look deeper (I know its invasion of privacy and I shouldn't have) sure enough his ex-wife wasn't blocked like he told me she was and she was still messaging him but he hadn't been responding. I came clean with him and told him what I knew and it started an argument. Of course he pointed out that I shouldn't have been looking. He told me that he didn't tell me how he felt because he didn't want to hurt my feelings even though I have been stressing communication and trust to him because that was part of our problem before. he also told me that he wasn't ever going to get married again and that if I wanted that then I needed to find someone else... even though he knew before I moved down here that I wanted to eventually get married.Maybe not for a few more years but he knew that before I hit 40 I wanted to be married. When I told him I was going to leave he told me that he loved me and said that he didn't want me to leave and that he wouldn't have ever asked me to move in with him if he didn't think that it would work. Thing is yeah that was a few days ago but I'm still not sure that I'm going to stay. I feel like I'm at a fork in the road. Its either stay with someone who has made it clear that I will not have anything more with him than at best a really long term relationship or leave with the hope that one day I will find another love who will marry me. Not only that I feel like trust has been broken even if I was reading what he didn't intend for me to ever find. any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[smackie9]

I'm sorry things didn't work out, but he is manipulating, and has been a liar. YOU cannot have a healthy relationship with someone who can't be open and honest with you. Push your feelings aside and take a real close look at all the red flags........what is your gut instinct telling you??

Read this part of your post "He told me that he didn't tell me how he felt because he didn't want to hurt my feelings even though I have been stressing communication and trust to him because that was part of our problem before. he also told me that he wasn't ever going to get married again and that if I wanted that then I needed to find someone else..."

That would be enough for me to say "Goodbye"

[lovepanda]

Maybe you can make him choose too, you or the ex wife.
If he chooses you, congrats and make sure he does what he promises.
If he chooses his ex, it is his loss anyways, you see what a person he is.