The OP worry was about what's the boundary at which being too nice can backfire.
As a guy that has been all his life nice and always forgiving (I blame all that Christiany crap they teach at school "Turn the other cheek"), I can tell you that; You can never be too nice and too forgiving. With one cheavet. Given that you are with a woman that understands that you are not doing it because you are weak but you do it out of love.
Any woman that wants to keep testing you, that will push you around in order see how much you can take, a woman that wants you to put her in her place and consider you too nice is not a woman worth having a meaningful relationship with. So just treat her as a f-buddy and like a piece of trash. Be a twat and don't give a f*ck about her.
That way you will have a win-win situation. A good meaningful relationship with somebody that's worth it. And in the meantime lot of f-buddies to spend your time with.
Hone your picker so you're not finding yourself with women who are'nt a good match.
BTW: There is a female double standard too you know. We don't (at least I don't- can't talk for all of the gender) consider a guy that has had a lot of fvck buddies to be good relationship material either.
Last edited by Wakeup; 21-07-11 at 10:36 PM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
I deleted that portion. Sorry, I didn't want to get into that so I just changed it to"Hone your picker" rather than keep someone around that isn't compatible as a FB. You keep doing that and you'll end up like Mwhahahaha without a meaningful love interest, alone and addicted to strange. It's fun while you're young but not so great when you're ready to have a life mate and family and you're unable to maintain monogamy, forever bedding 'TWITS' Good life partners (I'm thinking) the ones you'd want to be with in old age won't want a man that is promiscuous in general.
My opinion (perhaps I'm just old fashioned)?
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
In OPs case I don't think him being a nice person (or not) had much to do with the outcome of that partictular relationship. The fact that he didn't suss out that she wasn't over her last lover was his downfall and he allowed himself to be her rebound. Had he paid attention to her likely pre-occupation with still talking about her ex (as an example) and distanced himself until she was healed and over the guy, then the outcome might have been different for him.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
lol, if he ends up with half the birds that mwahahaha has tanned, he will have a happy life. My methods to with the females is sometimes blunt and caveman like, but ive been knee deep in nanny for most of my adult life , so ill stick with my way whille all the "nice guys" are sat home every saturday pulling their plonker over buffy the vampire layer.
Maybe my post was too loud and not exactly what I meant to express.
My point is start a relationship with the best intentions and treat her as your potential life-long mate. If she f*cks up or doesn't appreciate that then just downgrade her to f-buddy and stop caring about her. As simple as that.
This is about men who want to be in long term romantic relationships with one woman. Those of us who are in that type of relationship or, would eventually like to be in that type of relationship find your track record to be rather gag worthy. You getting your self-worth though your score card is your choice however.
A nice guy without game would never be able to keep a girl as a fk buddy. So: How about you pick well and if she doesn't turn out to be good for you then, you drop her ass and start looking again? Women with a good sense of self worth know when they've been "demoted" and the exit stage left as soon as they realize what you're up to.Maybe my post was too loud and not exactly what I meant to express.
My point is start a relationship with the best intentions and treat her as your potential life-long mate. If she ****s up or doesn't appreciate that then just downgrade her to f-buddy and stop caring about her. As simple as that.
Last edited by Wakeup; 21-07-11 at 10:58 PM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
In response to "Hopefully we learn"
Hopefully anyway. I don't think the draded "nice guy" ever does because he never accepts that doing the same thing over and over and expected different results is the definition of insantity.
Last edited by Wakeup; 22-07-11 at 02:35 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
Top 10 mistakes nice guys make after meeting a broad, before doing the deed.
1-buying her flowers, this is just gay, she ll be much more impressed if u steal her some from someones garden.
2-buying her chocolates, you really want het to be fatter before youve had a good look, get real.
3-meeting her parents, this is only a good idea if you are sure her parents will hate you, if they like you, youre fckd.
4-going on dates with other people there, this is fatal unless you are the prettiest of the group, you must be alone with your date otherwise being contradicted by another male is a constant danger.
5-when she txts you, leave at least 1 hour befor replying, if she asks where u were , tell her just with a friend, dont tell her yoou were sat waiting her txt like a big homo.
6-10 be a man, call the shots, keep her on edge so she doesnt know if shes coming or going, andd most importantly of all, try not to be too ugly, this is the most crucial i feel. fckn genes eh.....
lol.. that should be "dreaded." The rest of the post shouldn't need further clarification.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion