My Girlfriends New Guy Friend

[lahnnabell]

and i have done all of that, and the decision she made was the wrong one in my eyes, he asked her to go to a party... She had already gone to one with him last week, and he asked her to go to two others next week. she did tell me about the parties, and she stated that the she was thinking about it... so i already knew she wanted to go.... The party days are days when we normally hang out... last weeks party was the same she dropped me to go out and hang with this guy at the last minute.

Now I for one wouldve asked her to come with me to any party I was invited to, which i have done and she denied... all the time, and i cant tell u more this guy likes her.... He has said it to her so many times.... I dont trust him... I have had some friends that have done some terrible things to women, so i know wat some guys are capable of.... and I worry for her being in a situation were she wont be able to help herself.....

Well, she needs to be held accountable for her decisions. I think it's reasonable to tell this guy, "Look, I get that she likes hanging out with you. But if anything happens to her while she's with you, you're gonna be held responsible." Do not threaten him. Just give him that polite warning. However, I think you should just call her bluff and break up with her. If something isn't already happening, something probably will be. A girlfriend doesn't ditch her boyfriend for a platonic friend.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Break up with your g/f. Just tell her that you feel like she's chosen him over you, so she can have him, and it's time to move on. Her reaction should dictate whether you actually stay or go. If she doesn't offer a solution that works for you, then you should walk.

[VincenzoG91]

When problems come up in a relationship, communication is important. Talk to her directly about your concerns and express how you feel about the situation. If she truly cares about you, she will end the fake friendship with this guy. If she won't do that, then she is too selfish and immature to handle a serious relationship at this time, and you should break up with her. Since it sounds like you have already tried to talk to her about this and she has been dismissive of your concerns, I think you should just dump her without any further communication. Personally, I would also beat the crap out of that guy, but that's just me.

[IncognitoSir]

It sucks that you're in this position, but one thing struck me as odd. Your gf KNOWS this guy wants her, yet she entertains his "attempts". She's playing directly into all of this, and I don't think she is as naive as she may seem. 4 years together and she is hanging out with a guy who has admitted to wanting her.....smh. That's a damn shame. Can't believe some of the responses I'm hearing from some of our veteran members here about this.

You stand by and "let her do her thing" and you give this guy all the opportunity he needs to make his moves. You tell him to back off, she gets pissed and comes to the conclusion you don't trust her. Talk to her about it, "communicate", she's going to brush off your concerns of the matter and you know it. This is what we called stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either way, you're ****ed.

[lahnnabell]

Well, if the OP hasn't talked to her first, then he should. Short of that, there isn't anything else he can't do without shooting himself in the foot.

[VincenzoG91]

The other guy still needs a beating. He claims to "respect" their relationship, but he clearly needs a hard lesson about respect.

[lahnnabell]

The other guy still needs a beating. He claims to "respect" their relationship, but he clearly needs a hard lesson about respect.

What is beating him up going to prove? The OP has more problems with his GF than he does with this dude. His GF is giving this guy all the go-ahead signals which is where this went all wrong in the first place.

[krazed]

well i have spoken to her about it... she is quite defensive sometimes, but then sometimes it seems she understands, however she still thinks he is genuinely cool with the fact that she doesn't want him "or maybe thats just what she is telling me"... she is going to a party with him next sunday... and i told her to prove that he doesnt respect our relationship she should tell him that I will be accompanying her... Just to see wat he would say... she said no, she wont be doing that...

I think that any guy that really wants to be friends with her, wud not have a problem with me accompanying her... I am friends with some and most of her male friends.... she introduced me to them, and i do talk to some of em... they show respect when they see me...

Anyways imma let her do her thing only time will tell... give her space to make her own decisions, and from that I will know where i stand....

[lahnnabell]

Dude, this is ridiculous. Why the hell would she be going to parties with some dude and not her boyfriend? That's just so stupid and you're stupid if you continue to put up with it. I would NEVER ditch my boyfriend for another guy. He IS my guy.

[IncognitoSir]

ok, I'm gonna call it. She's a liar. She's leaving the door open for all kinds of "mistakes" to happen. Next thing you're gonna hear, they got drunk at the party, one thing led to another and......

She probably won't be able to answer her phone at the party and will probably get home super late........I see it coming

[Agent85]

Let this phase run its course.

[VincenzoG91]

What is beating him up going to prove? The OP has more problems with his GF than he does with this dude. His GF is giving this guy all the go-ahead signals which is where this went all wrong in the first place.

The other guy might continue through life thinking that his weasel-like behavior is acceptable. I would remind him that all is fair in love and war by re-arranging his lying face.

I agree with you that the girlfriend is a big part of the problem. I don't condone violence against women, though. If I were the OP, I would dump her without a moment of regret.

[VincenzoG91]

ok, I'm gonna call it. She's a liar. She's leaving the door open for all kinds of "mistakes" to happen. Next thing you're gonna hear, they got drunk at the party, one thing led to another and......

She probably won't be able to answer her phone at the party and will probably get home super late........I see it coming

Absolutely, this is exactly how it will play out. The OP can make a checklist and play along with the home audience on Sunday night.

[krazed]

So we had a serious discussion about her and her guy friend, it seems he brought up wanting her more than a friend again, and that's when she called me and told me am right. I didnt say i told u so...... So they do exchange a few words from time to time. But from wat he has said his flirting is to a minimal.. He is actually starting to show respect... See how much a few words and 2 days can do... She aint going to the parties.... So thats a good things as well...

Some of ya'll might think am doing the wrong thing staying with her... but I think she is worth fighting for....

[lahnnabell]

Well, at least she's getting a bit more sensible now. Be wary though. I wouldn't be comfortable still just because of how easily she was letting herself be lead astray from you.