Hey, i hope you guys can help me...

[AndiRoo]

I don't know whats happening right now with me and my girlfriend, but I'm going to say it as I see it
And on my Father's grave... this is the truth..

Right, I've been with this girl for a solid 17 months, and a few days ago I just wanted to be single. Only because she is a very very VVERY paranoid girl, and have tolerated quite alot from her like being put down, teased, and shes very blunt at what shes says, but I always took it on the chin, i don't like to argue so I kept my mouth shut and be quiet. I don't have alot of confidence in freedom of speech and stuff but anyways, only because I never want to throw verbal abuse at the girl I love.

We see eachother twice a week, only because it suits her, and I want her to be able to see me when she is free. cos shes busy with college/work, and I've never expect her to choose between me or her work, I fully respect her.

But we have said to improve this by seein eachother on some weekdays, and occasional weekends. I thought fair enough, but what we agree on, is never acted on.

I always told her that, I'll see you whenever you want, but if I'm busy then, woops really but I've always made it up to her somehow, like not majorly but enough to be considerate to her so i massage her or something.

And the physicality part in our relationship was a little dry, I've always been open to be spontaneous and stuff only because I've done alot of things so it isn't necesarily new to me, she hasn't necesarily done anything, and with her being so amazingly gorgeous in my eyes, im scared to venture any ideas cos i don't want to seem a freak and whip out a list of what to do, you know?. so i always said to her, if you want to try it?.. then let's do it, but she never made the effort to explore what she wants, and I can't necesarily read her, I have mentioned the beach when we was on holiday and stuff, but she wasn't up for it. so as a respectful boyfriend, I just thought okay but its a thrill babe?, and she never really gave the impression she thought about it too much. So i thought maybe thats out of the question forever until shes ready i guess.

but lately I haven't been too into it only because of money worries as such, I've been made redundant, and i do get a little upset cos I have had made moves on perfect opportunities but, if she never tells me what she likes, and ive always hinted other things, and tried to spice it up... but she slaps my hand away, and I don't try ANYTHING, unless she's ready, whipped much?, maybe... but that is how much i respect her.. and she's very prissy to a point, but I don't let it bug me.
So these quiet times where if she wants to try something, do something, explore anything.. she hasn't given me hints unless I do... But from Day 1 i explained to her, I want to do everything with her because I want that specialness I've craved for years, like to gain alot of comfort and stuff.

but recently like 3 days ago she called me up, and says this relationship is fizzling... and I'm like... what?? why is it?... then she mentioned how the sex life is dry, but I can't stress enough how I always been open to her, I've said what I've done in the past, but I dont go into detail obviously because... not a good look lol. but she has mentioned how her friends talk about their sex life, like how they done in a showers and spontaneous ways and etc. and I kid you not.. I was kinda hurt, because my effort seemed to have gone to waste... but she has also said that she hasn't been on top hardly cos her belly wobbles, (bless, but she is thin and very beautiful), so i was like... dont be paranoid about that, its exploring!. but she rarely lets me stroke her hair til she sleeps cos it gets "greasy".. so i just rub her back instead. bought gifts now and then.
But it strikes me as shocking liek a punch to the face because, why is she saying this when I've tried to be open as much as possible.
and also, I have a mate who is a girl (my mates ex girlfriend with 2 kids) who i chat to now and then, and can gladly screenshot my fone and show u all how innocent it is.
but my girlfriend has raided through my fone and facebook account numerous times and get funny and ask questions like, whos she?, why is she talking to you?. I kinda shrugged it off and reassure her of nothing whatsoever.
so i called her bluff to know whats going on in her head, because after asking why is she saying this now, because after hearing that sex life is dry after me trying so much, she says she does not know, and needs time to think (to think about what??), so anyways, back to calling her bluff i said to her, that im going to my mates house (whos my ex's gf) and chat bout few things, cos i really do need a girls point of view... and she said.. "I KNEW IT!!!!"... so i said "knew what??!", "what are you thinking???" and she couldnt answer it and asked for time and space... so i have no one else to question but myself and its very hurtful because I thought I went by all the good ways to make her know that I love her sooo much, that I never push her into anything at all... i just dont know how to reassure a very very paranoid girl..

I hope this make sense to you guys, if you help me out, omg.. i can promise you that your advice will not go to waste.

[HeartIsAching]

She's not paranoid, she's insecure. You can't "fix" that, you can't change that about her, she has to do it about and for herself. It won't get better, it'll get worse. She needs to see somebody.

[AndiRoo]

she is insecure, i was hoping for someone to point it out because I wanted someone to understand...
Why won't it get better?..