Ladies - Put yourself in this situation for a sec

[Distiller]

Ok, hypothetically...

If you met a guy, who you adored with all your heart, and felt like your life was complete with him. He was romantic, and was into all of the same interests as you, to the point to where you both agreed to marry eachother. However, you decided to break things off, because the guy was too clingy and needy, to the point where ALL he'd want to do with his time is spend it with you, regardless of you having other things to do, and not being able to have your own space or free/friend/family time anymore, and felt suffocated.

So you tell him to give you some time to think things over, and as a test to see if he's as persistant and clingy as you think, you tell him not to contact you until you contact him. Well, not out of a creepy obsession or anything, but just from having a clinginess problem, he keeps texting and texting and texting you, so you were "convinced" he can't ever control it. So although it's extremely hard for you to break it off with him, you just feel like you'll be suffocated with him, even though you love him.

What would he have to do, to convince you he changed, and fixed his problem, besides telling you "I fixed my problem"?



Its my situation... (I'm the guy)

And for starters, I deleted her number off of my phone so I don't keep bothering her (if need be, I could get her number from a friend, but only if it were an emergency)

[lahnnabell]

You need to examine the reasons you do this. Most likely with some form of therapy. You shouldn't be in a relationship until you can get a really good handle on this problem. That is what I would tell the guy if I were the girl. "Go work on your issues, then we'll see if we can take things slowly." The more this girl is in the picture, the more you're gonna use her as a crutch.

[smackie9]

Sometimes we meet someone that makes us do things we wouldn't normally do, act obsessively, pretty much like we are another person. I know Ive been there myself too. Ive discovered how unhealthy is really is, and looking back, I hated the person I was....all that obsessing, clinginess, etc was a tremendous waste of energy. I know you cant help the way you feel, getting so excited over someone you talk of marriage and the future. The talk of marriage is just that, talk, and by no means to be taken as a promise or a way to gauge how serious your relationship is at this early stage of the game. Its quite normal to get caught up in the emotion of it, but all it is, is fantasy or part of your day dreams. Its called the honeymoon stage of a relationship. It lasts for about 6 months to a year and a half. We get possessive, jealous, and for some so absorbed they don't think logically. For you it just got out of control, it could be out of loneliness, insecurity, low self esteem, or you lost control over your emotions.

If you get to this point, your relationship is not healthy, and she saw that and got out. I have bad news, I doubt she will want to continue a relationship with you in the future. It freaked her out and she knows you cant change over night. Now I'm not sure if you need to see a therapist over this, unless this pattern has repeated itself with other relationship you've had.....then yes you have got a problem that needs attention. I have been on both sides of this situation and its not a good place to be in either. You will look back on this and see how much of an idiot you were over this. Hopefully you will learn a valuable lesson for the sake of your future relationships.

Deleting her number is a step in the right direction. No contact, no internet stalking or spying, no asking friends about her is best. Try to think less of her by keeping busy with friends, going out, and socializing. You will rise above the hurt and disappointment and be a better person. Hope you feel better soon. Best of luck.